MWT 2007: Misting 11: Invasion Of The WWE
by Billie Marie
Summary: In the 11th fan fic of the MWT series, our heroes make sense out of some of the events that occurred in the previous episode. Additionally, they have to read a bad fan fic loosely based off of Jack Finney's 'Invasion Of The Body Snatchers'.   -Slash-
1. Intro

**Title: **

**Mystery Wrestling Theater 2007: **

**Misting #11: Invasion Of The WWE**

**Rated: Suitable for mature teens and older **

**Summary: In the 11th fan fic of the MWT series, our heroes make sense out of some of the events that occurred in the previous episode. Additionally, they have to read a bad fan fic loosely based off of Jack Finney's Invasion Of The Body Snatchers.**

**As always, thanks to those who have read my fan fics. I really appreciate all the feedback that I got for writing 'Who Are You? Who Am I?' Your encouragement means so much to me.**

**Recap: Shawn had been giving Hunter a hard time for signing with Vince. Hunter, in fact, did appear on Summerslam and the RAW following it. The only reason Shawn overreacted – as he told Bret – was because he got hit with Rebecca's divorce settlement, which needless to say, was brutal. To relieve tension, Sean programmed a club in the holoporter. Unfortunately, Vince took over the program and added gangsters to it, who proceeded to get into an argument with Hunter. Shawn came to Hunter's rescue, but a physical fight resulted, and Shawn was hit behind the head. It wasn't until Shawn awoke, that everyone realized that he had amnesia. Vince didn't care about Shawn's memory loss and still made our heroes read a bad fan fic. That fan fic featured Hunter and Sean in a physical relationship. As the bad fic progressed, Hunter proposed to Sean and it was found out that Bret and Shawn were getting married. After the bad fic, our heroes returned to the den, only to get a new shock when Shawn kissed Bret suddenly and without explanation.**

**Phew!!! **

**Characters: Bret Hart, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Sean Waltman, Sean Michaels, Vince McMahon, and mentions of others within the bad fic. **

**Time in this fic: It is the day after our heroes read Marie's fic 'Relationships Of The Future'. This means that it is approximately Wednesday, September 12.**

**Yeah, the next part is basically the same as usual, but it keeps me from getting into trouble.**

**Sources: I do not own any of the wrestlers or Vince or his children. I don't own the characters or the concept from Mystery Science Theater. The only original character in the series is Marie, Vince's hired writer and finder of awful spams and fan fics. Occasionally, one of Marie's friends writes the fan fics.**

**I also am not the person who came up with the concept of mixing wrestling and Mystery Science Theater. My inspiration is Amanda Stevens who came up with the wonderful cast of misters that I am currently using. **

**Format: The chapters are done in script form with narration thrown in. In the script, actions will be in (). The name of the character talking will be bold. Parts from posts will be in italics.**

**Enjoy!**


	2. Ch 1: That Kiss And More

Time: In Satellite time, it is the early evening of the day after our heroes read Marie's 'Relationships Of The Future'. The Earth date is approximately Thursday, September 13, 2007.

Place: den of the SOD

Sean stood right in front of the plasma tv. It's screen was full of static. No picture was visible.

**Sean: **(very angry) Come on! (he pounded the top of the TV screen with his right hand)

**Hunter: **(he'd seen Sean hit the TV two times before this) Kid, if you keep pounding on that thing, the only thing that will result from it is you getting a very sore hand.

**Sean: **(fuming, but then he holds his hand) Too late.

Hunter shook his head at the Kid's lack of sense. Then, he resumed his game of solitaire that he was playing on the coffee table.

Still angry, Sean went and sat on the couch. He looked over to Bret, who was – as usual – reading.

**Sean: **Bret…

**Bret: **(not even lowering his book, he almost growls) For the third time Sean…I can't fix the TV any better than you can.

**Sean: **(upon hearing Bret's tone) Man, you're cranky.

**Bret:** (doesn't put his book down) I'm not cranky.

**Sean: **Yes you are.

**Hunter: **(glances at Bret) You've been cranky since Shawn kissed you.

**Bret: **(puts down his book) I…am…not…cranky. I'm just tired of being disturbed every time I pick up a book.

**Hunter: **So go to your room.

**Bret: **I shouldn't have to go there every time I want some peace and quiet.

**Hunter: **Maybe not, but it's the only way you'll get it.

Bret was about to reply when Shawn entered. Shawn was smiling cheerily and almost waltzing into the room. Bret glared and resumed reading.

**Shawn: **Hello friends…my friends…good friends.

**Hunter: **Hey pal.

Shawn sat on the couch. He looks at the Kid.

**Shawn: **Kid, what's wrong?

**Sean: **Nothing.

**Shawn: **Then why the frown?

**Sean: **TV's on the fritz.

**Shawn: **That's no reason to be so down.

**Sean: **I'm just disappointed. So, you can take your new positive attitude and turn it somewhere else. (points to Bret)

**Shawn: **(points to Bret) He's not still mad at me, is he?

**Sean: **Afraid so.

**Shawn: **Bret…

**Bret: **(from behind his book) Don't talk to me.

**Shawn: **Bret…you are overreacting…

**Bret: **You would know.

**Shawn: **It was just an innocent kiss.

**Bret: **(lowering his book) You know very well that it was more than that, Shawn. You intended to embarrass me.

**Hunter: **Mission accomplished, apparently. Good one, Shawn.

**Shawn: **(nodding his head) Thank you. Wish I could take credit, but, I swear Bret, I wasn't trying to embarrass you. I just had to announce to all of you that my memory was back.

**Bret: **You could have just told us.

**Shawn: **Bret, you know me…I'm not one for subtlety. Old HBK had to announce that he was back in a big way.

**Bret: **But did you have to kiss **me**?

**Shawn: **What can I say? With all my memories coming back, I was overwhelmed. And you were the one nearest me…the one who first saw me coming around. Remember…in the theater, I stumbled…that was my memories coming back. On top of that, I was overjoyed. So much so that I would have kissed Hunter or Sean had one of them been standing next to me.

**Sean: **Thank God I wasn't near you. Reading about being with Hunter was bad enough. (Hunter glares at him) No offense.

**Shawn: **Seriously Bret, I'm sorry. Don't let this one incident ruin the progress we've made.

**Bret: **(sighs)

**Shawn: **(begging) Please, Bret…do I have to get on my hands and knees…because I will.

**Bret: **That won't be necessary. It had just better never happen again.

**Shawn: **(playful) What? Was I not good enough?

**Bret: **(growling) Shawn…

**Shawn: **(laughs) I'll stop. I can't help it, Bret; you're fun to tease.

**Hunter: **I'm glad you're better, Shawn.

**Bret: **(grumbling) I'm not sure I am.

**Shawn: **(ignoring Bret) I am too, Hunter. You were really great with me. And awesome job at Summerslam. You really taught Vince something at Booker T's expense.

**Hunter: **Thanks…and anytime, pal. Anytime. I'm also glad to see you in a good mood. It's been awhile.

**Shawn: **Yeah, well…after not knowing who I was for a time, it's a relief to know who I am again. And I'm a resourceful person; I'll find a way to deal with Rebecca.

**Hunter: **And if you need help…

**Shawn: **I know you guys will be there to help me.

Vince's beeping sounded. His image appeared on TV.

**Vince: **How touching.

**Shawn: **(still happy) Hi Vince.

**Sean: **(eyeing Shawn) Why are you greeting him like that?

**Shawn: **Because even Vince can't destroy my good mood.

**Sean: **Hey wait, Vince…the TV's busted. How'd you…

**Vince: **Get through…(Sean nodded) Because the problem with your TV is related to a current problem in the satellites that collect Earth's programming and transmit it to you. My transmitter isn't a part of this, so I can still reach you.

**Hunter: **(sarcastic) Joy.

**Vince: **Hunter, I'd address me nicely if I was you, or I can change the roll you're on in WWE. (Hunter glares at him)

**Bret: **Let me guess Vince, you have a fan fic to send us.

**Vince: **Yes. It's a rather long one…painful, I think…

**Bret: **Just please, tell me that it has no relation to yesterday's fic.

**Vince: **(knew that Bret was thinking about Vince's desire for Marie to continue 'Relationships Of The Future') No…Marie has yet to put **that** together. Today's fic is a story loosely based on the events detailed in Jack Finney's novel The Body Snatchers.

**Sean: **Hey, that's what I was planning to watch.

**Vince: **Yes, I did notice that Invasion Of The Body Snatchers was going to be on tonight.

**Hunter: **(to Sean) That's what you were going to watch, Kid? You've seen that before. Why'd you get so angry at the TV?

**Sean: **Because I wanted to watch it.

**Vince: **And now you will…sort of. (Sean glares at Hunter) And like I said, the fic's long, so I'd get to it if I were you. (disappears)

**Hunter: **(stands) Guess we'd better go, you know, so that Vince doesn't have to sound the alarm.

The others agreed with him.

End of Chapter 1

Hope that answers any questions that came up at the end of 'Who Are You? Who Am I?'

It may be a little bit before I get the next chapter up. I actually started the story I'm planning to use in our heroes' bad fic a while ago, but I got writer's block and put it down. Of course that allowed me to continue with this series.

I hope I can get past my writer's block.

Later…


	3. Ch 2: Prologue To Invasion of the WWE

Time: In Satellite time, it is the early evening of the day after our heroes read Marie's 'Relationships Of The Future'. The Earth date is approximately Thursday, September 13, 2007.

Place: theater of the SOD

Our heroes sit in their aisle in this order: Sean (closest to the wall), Bret, Shawn, and Hunter (closest to the aisle).

**Sean: **Wait…(to Bret) should Bret and Shawn be sitting together?

**Bret: **I'll be fine Kid…as long as Shawn doesn't kiss me again.

**Shawn: **I am not going to kiss you again…You know Bret, if you keep going on about how awful it was, I'm going to start thinking that you actually liked it.

**Bret: **(glares at Shawn)

**Hunter: **Okay then…Kid, I'll keep an eye on Shawn…you watch Bret.

**Sean: **Do I have to restrain him?

**Hunter: **Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

_5…4…3…2…1…_

**Hunter: **It begins.

_Author's Note: Hi, I'm Laura. _

**Sean: **Marie must be busy.

**Shawn: **Probably writing the sequel to her last story.

**Bret: **(visibly cringes)

_I'm an aspiring writer, who like many answered Marie's request for writers._

**Hunter: **Who wants to tell Laura that by writing for Marie, she's just destroyed her reputation as writer? (the others raise their hands along with him)

_My first fic is entitled 'Invasion Of The WWE'. You see, I love reading and watching science fiction, and I've always felt that Jack Finney's __Invasion Of The Body Snatchers__ was one of the greatest science fiction stories ever. _

**Sean: **I used to agree, but I have a feeling that after this fan fic, I won't think so anymore.

_Now, I wondered what would happen if the basic events of Jack Finney's book occurred in the WWE – of which I'm a huge fan of as well._

**Hunter: **Oh no…it's a crossover.

_Of course, as I wrote my story, I had to take some artistic license with both genres in order to make them fit…as you'll see._

**Sean: **I don't like the sound of that.

_So without further ado…here is 'Invasion Of The WWE'._

**Shawn: **All right Kid, I'm not a sci fi person, what happens in this story?

**Sean: **Originally, a small Californian town is invaded by pod like aliens that have the ability to duplicate their hosts, all except for emotions. These duplicates are emotionless, although they try to act that they weren't. If you looked closely, you could tell who was a pod and who was a person.

**Shawn: **Oh…you know if such a thing happened for real, how would you tell that some of the wrestlers were people and not pods?

**Hunter: **You mean because some of them lack emotion?

**Shawn: **(nods) Or force them.

**Bret: **Who lacks emotion?

**Shawn: **Well, Undertaker looks like he does inside the ring…

**Bret: **That's just his character.

**Shawn: **I know that…and while we're on the subject, there were times in your career that you didn't show much emotion.

**Bret: **Yeah, and then I met you.

**Shawn: **Putting that aside for the moment, I always thought Cena was a little forced in his emotions.

**Hunter: **He does overdo. You know who I'd signal out as a pod?

**Shawn: **Who?

**Hunter: **Shelton Benjamin.

**Shawn: **(considering it) Yeah, he is pretty unexpressive.

_Prologue:_

**Sean: **Prologue? You mean, there are parts to this thing?

_I'm not quite sure where or how to begin. _

**All: **So don't.

_But I know I have to. The world and all of humanity are at stake. _

**Sean: **I say screw humanity.

**Bret: **Kid!

**Sean: **What? My sanity is at stake here.

_I know now that I can't stay quiet anymore._

**All: **Lucky us.

_I thought it was over. I thought we'd beaten them and that they knew that Earth wasn't ideal for them._

**Shawn: **Guess you were all wrong, weren't you?

_They must have adapted…learned from their earlier mistakes on Earth…all so that they could survive. _

**Hunter: **(trying to imitate Jeff Goldberg from Jurassic Park) Life finds a way.

_There's no other explanation possible…_

_Because it's starting all over again._

**Sean: **(trying to imitate Buffy from the first episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer) Gee, could you vague that up for me?

_I'm getting ahead of myself. _

**Shawn: **You think?

**Bret: **A proper introduction would be nice.

_Looking at what I've begun to write, I realize that it looks like I'm mad. Paranoid. But I swear, I'm not._

**Hunter: **(humoring the screen) Of course you're not.

_I will attempt to explain..._

_If only what I'd read in the paper earlier hadn't been there. I wish to God that it hadn't been. _

_I'll never sleep now._

**Sean: **Let that be a lesson to you...don't read the news.

**Bret: **Ignorance is bliss, huh?

**Sean: **You said it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_My mission…_

**Hunter: **(as the narrator) As I choose to accept it.

_as I consider it to be…_

**Hunter: **Close enough.

_to warn all humanity, began when I'd picked up the paper at dinnertime, as I always do, _

**Shawn: **(looks at Bret)

**Bret: **(sees Shawn eyeing him) What?

**Shawn: **You always read the paper around dinnertime.

**Sean: **And lunch.

**Hunter: **And breakfast.

**Bret: **At least I try to stay connected to what's going on on Earth. Is there a point you guys are making?

**Hunter: **We're hoping that we don't have to. (Bret looks at him, but Hunter doesn't explain)

_while my husband was putting dinner on the table. _

**Bret: **(it dawns on him) Wait...you guys don't think this fic is referring to me...that I'm this narrator?

**Shawn: **It was just a thought.

**Bret: **Well, the fic just said that the narrator had a husband, so put the thought out of your head.

_I'd just gotten home an hour earlier and I had every intention of enjoying my dinner, my paper, and my husband's company._

_That was up until I saw the following article, started on the front page, which I have pieced together – it went on for a few pages – and pasted into my writing:_

**Shawn: **And now I suppose we have to read it, right?

_**VEGETABLE TRUCKER MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARS – **_

_**POLICE APPEAR LESS THAN CONCERNED**_

_**By Andrew Kempner**_

**Hunter: **People disappear all the time. One vegetable trucker isn't going to make one bit of difference to the police.

_**Tuesday, September 13, 2011 – **_

**Sean: **Should we be worried that that date is exactly four years from now?

**Hunter: **You mean considering the last bad fic...(Sean nods, Hunter shrugs back)

_**Morning traffic on the Trans Canada Highway is never a breeze. **_

**All (but Bret):** (look at Bret)

**Bret: **Okay, so maybe I am the narrator. (sighs) Damn.

**Hunter: **Where is the Trans Canada Highway?

**Bret: **It runs through Calgary. (angry) Why do I have to be the narrator?

**Hunter: **Because it's your turn to get tortured.

_**In winter, the ice makes the highway a dangerous place to be. By spring and summer, it's crowded by, not only people getting to work, but also tourists. **_

**Shawn:** (to Bret) One question...(Bret looks at him and signals for him to go ahead) doesn't winter last forever in Canada?

**Bret:** Shawn, Canada does have a spring and summer.

**Shawn:** It gets tourists?

**Bret:** Is that so hard to believe.

**Shawn:** You're more popular than I thought.

**Bret:** (keeps himself from raising his voice too loud at Shawn) I'm not a tourist attraction!

_**Finally, in the fall, the crowds lessen, but the number of trucks that need to get their goods transported increase, and those trucks take up a considerable amount of room.**_

_**Especially, if stopped on the side of the road, as was the case yesterday morning.**_

**Shawn: **(dramatically) The plot, it thickens.

_**On the morning of September 12, at 6:35am, police were called to the area of the Trans Canada Highway that intersects with 14th Street.**_

_**There, the police found a large abandoned vegetable truck stopped on the right side of the highway. Unfortunately for drivers, it was still taking up enough of the road to cause problems.**_

**Shawn: **At 6:35 in the morning?

**Bret: **It's just starting to get busy at that time.

_**As the police waited to tow the truck, they investigated the area. The driver was nowhere in sight. The only clues as to where the driver might be were the footprints that trailed into the woods. A few policemen were sent to follow the prints, but once they got into heavily leaf littered areas in the woods, the footprints were lost and tracking halted. Oddly, no one thought to use police dogs.**_

**Shawn: **Your police are incompetent, Bret.

**Bret: **Shawn...

**Sean: **(admonishing) Bret...in most movies and series, the police are incompetent. It's not just your fic. (Bret looks at him)

_**This story would likely have ended there had not two witnesses come forward to this reporter. Actually, if they hadn't come forward, this reporter wouldn't have known that there was a story going on. **_

**Hunter: **And then this story couldn't have happened. Thanks witnesses.

_**For their determination to speak out, this reporter owes a great deal of gratitude, and has respectfully heeded their requests to remain anonymous.**_

**Hunter: **In order to protect their identities.

**Shawn: **Obviously somebody wants them dead.

_**The first person to come forward to this reporter, a man in his mid-forties, was actually the last to have witnessed anything. This is the same person, who called the police to the scene. **_

**Hunter: **How is that going to keep the police from not knowing who the witness is? All the police have to do is look at who called them.

**Sean: **Obviously, the reporter considers the police to be so incompetent that he feels it's safe to dispel the witnesses' description.

_**Here are his words – abridged – stated to me when he saw me in my office:**_

"_**It was 6:17am. I know because I'm always on that area of the highway at 6:17am. I hate anything out of the ordinary. And that truck was out of the ordinary.**_

**Shawn: **It's also out of the ordinary to be in the same place at the same time each day.

_**When I came to that area of the highway, I almost didn't see the truck before it was too late. I know that sounds funny, being that the truck was big, but, since I wasn't expecting it to be there – not to mention it was still dark **_

**Hunter:** (as the writer) And I'm half blind...

– _**I almost hit it."**_

_**I **_**said**_** that that didn't sound funny at all. It is quite dark in Calgary before sunrise, which at this time of year isn't until a few minutes after 7. **_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) How the hell do you deal without having the sun till after 7am?

**Bret: **How do you deal with ninety-five degree weather?

**Sean: **Guys...

_**He was relieved to hear that I was, as he put it, 'on his side'. He continued:**_

"_**Quite honestly, I should have kept driving. I wish I had. Several other people must have. But something in me couldn't, **_

**Hunter: **(imitating the witness) Because I'm an idiot.

_**so I parked my car just ahead of the truck, making sure though to park it off of the road.**_

_**I got out, and walked to the passenger's side. I wasn't about to stick myself out in the middle of the road to look into the driver's side. **_

**Bret: **I thought the reporter said abridged. I don't need to know that the witness didn't want to be in the middle of the road.

_**Anyway, when I looked inside the truck, poking my head into the window to do so – since the window was rolled down **_

**Shawn: **And here I just thought the witness put his head through a glass window.

– _**I saw no driver."**_

_**I asked him if he saw anything inside.**_

"_**Oh I saw things inside, just no people. I saw clothes on the seat."**_

**Sean:** The driver is doing something in the woods that he shouldn't be.

"_**Clothes?" I repeated curiously.**_

"_**Yeah, a plaid shirt and a pair of jeans. And they were covered in dust."**_

**Sean: **He spilled cocaine on his clothes before going into the woods and doing something he shouldn't?

**All (but Sean): **Kid!

"_**Dust?"**_

"_**Dust," the man said, slightly annoyed. Then, he calmed, "I think it was dust. It was gray in color and it covered the clothing. **_

**Sean: **It's not cocaine then.

**_I even, and I don't know why I did, but I did, I pushed even further in and saw a pair of shoes on the truck floor. Even more dust covered the shoes._**

**Shawn: **(sounding like a store manager) Clean up on the Trans Canada Highway.

_**Well, I pushed myself out of the truck **_

**Bret: **Not before getting stuck.

**_after that feeling pretty nervous, as you might imagine. It was just so odd. And it got odder when I looked towards the woods and saw footprints. Footprints of bare feet."_**

**Hunter: **That would make sense.

**Shawn: **A fan fic making sense. Now I know the world's coming to an end.

_**I leaned in when he said this. The police never mentioned that the footprints had been made by bare feet.**_

"_**Fits too well, doesn't it," the man said, "Bare footprints and shoes in the driver's side."**_

"_**But why would the man be naked?" I asked.**_

**Sean: **I can think of a few reasons...(off of everyone's looks) None of which are appropriate.

"_**Beats the hell out of me," he said, exasperated, "I'm just telling you what I saw. It's your job to make sense of it."**_

**Sean: **(as the reporter) The driver must be a pedophile who's brought his latest victim out here to...

**All (but Sean): **Kid!

**Hunter: **Keep it up Kid, and I'm taping your mouth shut.

"_**It's my job to report it," I countered, "It's the police's job to make sense of it."**_

**Shawn: **Or not and say they did, then cover it up like it never happened.

**Hunter:** We'll go with that.

"_**Wonderful job they've done," the man said cynically.**_

"_**Did you tell the police what you saw?" I asked.**_

**Bret: **(to the screen) Well if the witness didn't, you have.

"_**I did," he said, "I went to the police station. I thought I had a duty."**_

_**I leaned closely again, "So, what happened when you told?"**_

**Shawn: **I got a few funny looks and thought the police were going to call the men in the white coats.

"_**The policeman who took my statement – who heard everything that I just told you – went and got his captain."**_

_**I asked to clarify, "Would that be Captain Stodder?"**_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Who's Captain Stodder?

**Bret: **I have no clue. It's fiction, remember?

"_**The same," the man verified, "Captain Stodder had me run through the whole story again, and since I knew it so well by now, I concentrated more on the Captain's expression than on my own words."**_

**Hunter: **He multitasks. He can study expression and talk at the same time.

"_**And what did you see?"**_

"_**Now you'll think I'm crazy," he said, "If you haven't already."**_

**Shawn: **(as the reporter) Naw...if you don't mind, I'd just like to make a phonecall.

"_**I don't think you're crazy," I assured him. I truthfully didn't know what to think at the moment.**_

"_**Well, the Captain, he didn't have an expression."**_

"_**What do you mean?" I said, not understanding.**_

**Sean:** The Police Captain's a pod. (to Bret) Kiss Calgary goodbye.

"_**The Captain just looked at me," he explained, "and not with a carefully disguised, 'This guy is nuts' look. There was no look."**_

"_**And when you were done giving your statement, what did Captain Stodder say?"**_

**Sean: **It's not what he said; it's what he wanted to do.

**Hunter: **Don't go there Kid.

_**The man sighed, "He said that I shouldn't worry about it anymore. That the situation was cleared up. He said that I appeared overworked and that I should go home and get some sleep. And you know what he said that was really strange?"**_

**Bret: **(as the reporter) No, and I don't want to know. I can only fit so much in my article. (as himself) And I this article is long enough.

"_**What?" I said, part of me wanting to know. Another part, however, didn't want to know.**_

"_**Captain Stodder asked me if I wanted to get some sleep in the back, where the beds are for the policemen to go when their shift gets too long."**_

**Sean: **A place where they can sit back and relax and...

**Hunter: **Kid...I know where the tape is.

"_**What'd you say?" I asked.**_

"_**I said no thanks and immediately got the hell out of there. Then, a few hours later, I came to you."**_

"_**Why?" I wondered.**_

**Sean:** To replace you with a pod too.

"_**Because you're a good reporter. People trust you."**_

_**People did too. I have a way of reporting the facts without ovesensationalizing or sugar coating things.**_

**Bret: **(as the reporter) Instead, I draw things out.

_**And that was basically it for the man. I said thank you to him and he said shook my hand, thanking me for my time. I promised that I would follow up on what he told me. **_

_**The last thing he said to me before leaving was, "Be careful."**_

**Sean: **They get you when you sleep.

_**After the man left, I did follow up. I called Captain Stodder, who in truth doesn't like me very much.**_

**Bret: **(sarcastic) I can't imagine why.

_**On the phone, he was colder to me than ever before. **_

"_**Kempner, your witness, as I told him, was no doubt overworked and overtired."**_

_**I thought Stodder sounded off. He usually yelled at me when I called, but he didn't on this occasion.**_

**Sean: **This guy Stodder is so obviously a pod that it's pathetic. My intelligence is being insulted.

**Hunter: **What intelligence? (Sean glares at him)

_**Instead, after I'd suggested that maybe the man had seen what he'd seen, Captain Stodder said, "Impossible." He sounded sure of himself.**_

"_**Why?" I said, trying to hide my irritation.**_

"_**Because we found the driver."**_

**All:** Plot twist.

_**That took me a moment to grasp, "What?"**_

"_**We found the driver," Captain Stodder repeated.**_

**Shawn: **Does this reporter have a problem taking information the first time it's said, or something?

"_**When? How? Where?" I did not hide the excitement in my voice.**_

**Sean: **Just advertise your non-podness then, why don't you?

"_**The driver called us from his home."**_

"_**He did?" I said.**_

"_**Yes, asking me to come to his home."**_

"_**And did you?"**_

"_**Yes, I personally wanted this matter cleared up."**_

**Hunter: **Police Captains make house calls.

"_**And is it?" I had to keep from sounding distrusting.**_

"_**Yes, the driver, twenty-five year old Frank Buxton – if you must know – said that on the night of September 11th, he'd begun a long drive to deliver produce. The drive took him all night and into the morning to complete and, unfortunately, he hadn't slept well the night before. Due to lack of sleep and long work hours, he fell asleep while driving and didn't wake up till he felt one of his back tires go flat. Good thing it did, too."**_

**Shawn: **Or those morning commuters would have had quite a nasty sight.

_**When the Captain said this, I looked back through my notepad that I was writing on. **_

**'Bret: **And all this time, I thought he was writing on his hand.

**_No one had said anything before this about a flat._**

"_**A very good thing," I said, not letting on that I didn't believe him. Or maybe I did when I said, "So, why didn't Mr. Buxton move his truck further off the road. Why didn't he call a tow truck or his boss through the intercom thing truck drivers have? Why'd he leave the truck?"**_

**Hunter: **He wrote 'intercom thing' in the paper?

"_**I inquired the same thing," stated Captain Stodder, "and Mr. Buxton told me that, having been a truck driver for only three months, he was new at the job. When the flat occurred, he got scared. Those big trucks are hard to control under normal conditions, so you can imagine how much harder it was under abnormal ones.**_

**Sean: **Sounds like this truck driver didn't receive very good training.

**_He just stopped the truck as soon as he could. He didn't have a cell and furthermore, the intercom thing was out of range, so he couldn't call anyone for assistance. Finally, he left the truck to find a gas station and his only option was to walk through the woods."_**

**Shawn: **He could have just stuck his thumb out for assistance.

**Bret: **Hitchhiking, Shawn?

**Shawn: **It works.

**Bret: **It's dangerous.

**Shawn: **When the alternative is walking through woods in the middle of Canada, I'll hitchhike.

"_**In his bare feet. Naked?" I protested. The Captain's story was hard for me to swallow. His next words made me almost choke:**_

**Bret: **This article gets any longer and I'm going to choke.

"_**There you go again, Kempner. Mr. Buxton was not naked. Don't you think if he had been, the police would have gotten reports of it?"**_

**Sean: **Indecent exposure is an offense.

"_**I guess," I said, but was really thinking, 'Or you did, and you ignored them.'**_

**Shawn: **Oh I get it. The cops in this aren't incompetent; they're corrupt.

**Sean: **I think I said that when I said the Captain was a pod.

_**Captain Stodder continued, "Now we're getting somewhere."**_

"_**So, Mr. Buxton is at home?"**_

"_**With his wife, whom he called to pick him up when he finally reached a gas station. He actually forgot about his truck, and only remembered it later on. And then he called me."**_

**Shawn: **He just forgot a truck.

**Hunter: **This Captain forgot how to lie well.

'_**How do you forget a truck?' I thought, but did not ask.**_

**Bret: **But by writing this article, he just asked it.

"_**So you see, Mr. Kempner, it's settled."**_

'_**Hardly,' I thought. I said, "I guess it is. Thank you for telling me so."**_

"_**Good to clear this up," said Captain Stodder.**_

"_**May I print this conversation," I asked.**_

**Sean: **(as the Captain) And when you do, I'm going to have to replace you with a pod.

_**Captain Stodder was silent for a moment. I took that as a no, so I was surprised when Captain Stodder replied, "Yes."**_

**Sean: **Why should the Captain be worried - if he can be worried - everyone will be pods soon enough.

_**I quickly said thanks and goodbye – before he changed his mind – and hung up the phone. I set to typing up my article, not realizing that my story would take one more turn.**_

_**That turn came at approximately 3:30 that afternoon, **_

**Bret: **Wait? There's more?

**Shawn: **(to Bret) How big is your local paper?

**Bret: **You've seen it...It's not that big. What we're reading is more like a magazine article.

**Hunter: **You know this is seriously not the worst thing we've read though.

**Bret: **That makes me feel so much better.

**Hunter: **Just an observation.

_**when a woman in her late thirties asked my secretary if she could see me. **_

_**As a boss in a fairly good size company, this woman was normally the perfect image of composure. I knew that because I'd written an article on her about a year before, praising her business qualities. **_

**Sean: **And her assets.

**_Now, as she stood before my secretary, she was anything but composed._**

_**I, without pause, asked her to come into my office, where I took a better look at her. **_

**Sean: **Checking her out. Undressing her with my eyes.

**Hunter: **That's it...I'm getting the tape.

**Sean: **Prude.

**Shawn: **(grasping Hunter's arm) Hunter...

**Hunter: **(sitting back down) I'm just tired of his sexual jokes.

**_The first thing I noticed was that she was limping a little. I looked at her left foot and saw that the ankle looked slightly swollen. I also saw that the left side of her nylons were dirty and had a rip on the lower leg and a run up it._**

**Sean: **Told you, Hunter, that he was checking her out.

_**When I moved up to her face, I saw that she was scared. She'd been crying. Her mascara was smeared and her hair a mess, as if she'd been fiddling with it all day.**_

**Shawn: **He's awful observant when it comes to women's appearances.

**Bret: **I think he's straight, Shawn.

**Shawn: **Why?

**Bret: **Because he didn't describe the male witness. I think he has a thing for damsels in distress.

_**I went out of my office quickly and brought back a cup of water. She thanked me and I sat down in front of her. **_

_**I asked, "What happened?"**_

_**After taking a sip of water, she said, "I don't know how to begin."**_

**All: **(groans)

"_**Start from beginning," I said. She stared straight ahead, looking but not seeing. I tried to begin for her, "Were you assaulted?"**_

"_**No," she answered quickly. "That, I think I could have handled."**_

**Shawn: **Because assault is easy to deal with?

_**I looked back at her, not understanding.**_

"_**Did you hear about the vegetable truck?" she asked.**_

"_**Funny, I'm actually working on that story."**_

"_**Then, I have something to add to it."**_

"_**I'm all ears," and I was.**_

**Hunter: **Then you'd be very scary looking.

"_**I saw that truck pull over."**_

_**My eyes went wide, "Mind if I write down what you tell me?" I had to get this down. She nodded and I pulled my notepad in front of me. I then looked at her signaling her to continue.**_

"_**It was five minutes to six this morning," she said, "I was driving to work. I always go in early. Traffic's not usually bad,**_

**Bret: **If this witness account is abridged, then I'd hate to see the full thing.

**_but the big trucks are out at that time. I hate driving behind them. And the one I was behind this morning was particularly awful. The truck kept swerving, just enough to worry me that it would go off the road suddenly. And then it swerved once more. I stopped my car, and watched as the truck pulled to the side by the woods and also stopped. I was worried about the driver and got out to check on him. _**

**Shawn: **She should have kept driving.

**_As I was coming to the front of the truck, I saw what was in the bed."_**

"_**What was it?" I asked.**_

"_**I don't know how to describe what I saw. The best I can say is that I saw…seed pods."**_

**Sean: **It's too early to introduce the actual pods.

"_**Seed pods?" I asked.**_

"_**Like the ones containing peas. That's what they looked like to me, except that they were huge. At the time, I did dismiss it, but now, it's odd, isn't it?"**_

"_**The seed pods?"**_

**All: **(agitated) Yes!!

"_**Yes. You don't think the government finally found a way to enlarge vegetables, do you?" she asked.**_

"_**I'm not aware of it."**_

**Sean: **You'd think they would have figured out how to do that by 2011.

"_**I'm not either," she said, "And they didn't look good to eat either."**_

**All:** Eww...

"_**Did you look in the driver's seat?" I asked.**_

"_**Oh, yes…and when I did, I stepped back, twisted my ankle and fell." **_

**All: **Oww.

**_Then, she started crying hysterically. That explained the state of her nylons._**

**Bret: **I don't think your readers will care about her nylons. You are writing a news article, not a book.

_**I grabbed my tissue box, and offered it to her. **_

_**She took a tissue gratefully and said, "It was horrible."**_

"_**What was?" **_

"_**In the truck…I saw…the driver, a man…but it wasn't a man. Not anymore."**_

**Shawn: **Could this part of the story drag on any longer?

**Hunter: **Don't ask that Shawn, or it will.

"_**Explain."**_

**She tried, **"_**The man was deformed. Almost like his skin was being…taken over. There were tentacles, I think, surrounding his body, and some had entered his nose and ears."**_

**Sean: **That brings a whole new meaning to the word invasive.

"**W****_here were the tentacles coming from?"_**

_**She had to think, "The back of the truck…where the pods were…**_

**Sean: **It's too early to introduce this plot element.

**Hunter: **Get over it.

**_And then the body that the tentacles surrounded…it crumbled."_**

"_**Crumbled?"**_

**All: **(exaspirated) Crumbled!!

"_**That's why I fell back. It was so shocking."**_

"_**Did you get up and look inside again?" I said, really hoping to corroborate her account with the previous witness'.**_

**Shawn: **Would she be stupid enough to do that?

"_**You're kidding right? Besides I couldn't…**_

**Bret: **A little bit of smarts, at least.

**_Something woke up in the truck bed."_**

"_**What?" I asked.**_

**Hunter: **(growls) Get a tape recorder.

"_**Something made an awful sound…it was inhuman…and then…then, a man jumped out of the truck bed."**_

"_**A man?"**_

**Bret: **This guy must have a serious attention problem.

"_**He hit the ground," she said, "he stood just a few feet from me. He saw me too. I didn't know what he was going to do, and that made me afraid. But he came no closer to me. Instead, he ran into the woods. And I was alone…I crawled backward and made it to my car. I turned around and drove off as quick as possible, **_

**Hunter: **Now, that's smart.

**_not caring that I was going the wrong way. _**

**Hunter: **Not so smart, but under the circumstances.

**_I went back home, where I stayed, with my windows and doors locked…until I realized I needed to tell somebody. So, I came to tell you."_**

"_**Why?"**_

"_**Because I trust you."**_

**Bret: **She trusted him until he wrote this article.

_**There it was again. She trusted me. I couldn't let her, or the witness before her, down. I won't either. That's why I'm sharing this story with my readers in hope that you can make sense of it.**_

**Shawn: **Before or after they fell asleep reading it.

**Sean: **Thereby allowing the pods to take over at a faster rate. Good job!

_**Because the police sure aren't. They haven't said anything more about these incidents and even refused to send out a police report. I, for one, am unsatisfied by their apparent lack of concern.**_

**Sean: **You will understand all quite soon, I'm afraid.

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This article concerned me._

**Shawn: **Oh, I think we're back to the narrator. Bret, that's you. (Bret sighed in response)

_After reading, my face must have expressed all that I was feeling because my husband, who'd just finished bringing out dinner, called my name worriedly, "Bret?"_

_I didn't respond._

**Shawn: **And there you have it in writing.

**Bret: **Why couldn't it be the Kid in this? He's the sci fi freak.

**Sean: **Because I was the subject of the last fic. It's your turn.

"_Bret?" my husband repeated. He came behind me and lowered his head to look at the paper over my shoulder. His long blonde hair that I love so much touched the side of my neck. "What is it?"_

**Shawn:** Wait? Did that just say long blonde hair?

**Hunter: **It said long blonde hair.

**Bret: **Oh God, please no.

**Sean: **(smiling) I'm glad I'm not blonde.

_I snapped out of it enough to turn the paper back to where the article began. I pointed it to him and he snatched the paper out of my hands. _

**Bret: **Yep, that's something Shawn would do?

**Shawn: **What's that supposed to mean?

**Hunter: **Well Shawn, you are kind of grabby. (Shawn glares at him)

_Walking a bit away from me, he proceeded to read what I'd just read._

_After finishing, he looked at me. His face had gone three shades paler and his blue eyes had grown wide._

**Shawn: **There's no chance that this could be Hunter, right?

**Hunter: **If that was the case, I think the author would have written shoulder length blonde hair.

"_No," said Shawn. "Not again…not again."_

**Shawn: **Damn.

**Bret: **I thought this fic had no relation to the last one.

**Hunter: **(to Bret) It sounds like the fact that you and Shawn are together is the only similarity.

**Sean: **(to Shawn) Guess Laura took your kiss with Bret seriously, Shawn.

**Shawn: **Shut up, Kid.

_I stood and went to my love. I took him into my arms and he rested his head on my chest._

**Shawn: **And I guess since I cook, cry and need comfort that I'm the feminine one.

**Hunter: **You always are in these type of fics, Shawn.

**Shawn: **I still don't get why you read these type of fics outside the theater, Hunter.

**Hunter: **(trying to justify) I'm bored.

"_Not again," Shawn repeated, "I can't face this again."_

**Bret: **If he means being married to me, the feelings mutual.

**Shawn: **Bret, you just kind of insulted yourself.

**Bret: **Yeah, but I insulted you too.

_I didn't think I could either. We'd both lost so much the last time. Lives…lives of loved ones…_

**Bret: **Our sanity apparently.

_But we learned…we adapted…and we survived._

_I hoped we could do it again._

_Chapter 1:_

**Shawn: **And all of that was just the prologue.

**Hunter: **I'm scared to see how long this is.

**Bret: **You're scared?

**Hunter: **Well, I can't help wondering that if you and Shawn are in this, whether or not me or the Kid will be in this as well.

**Sean: **Like Bret and Shawn were mentioned in ours.

**Hunter: **Or worse.

**Bret: **(getting up suddenly) I need a break.

**Shawn: **Already? Come on Bret, being married to me can't be that bad.

**Bret: **Shawn, is your brain still scrambled from the hit you took, or do you not realize what you just said?

**Shawn:** (thinking) Now that I think about it, I could use a break too.

Our heroes get up and leave the theater.

End of Chapter 1 (of my fic, not the bad fic)

What did you think?

I know most of you want Shawn and Hunter together...but just bare with me.

I also felt that Bret needed some new life breathed into his character.


	4. Ch 3: A Needed Break

Time: In Satellite time, it is the later in the evening of the day after our heroes read Marie's 'Relationships Of The Future'. On Earth, it is late at night on Thursday, September 13, 2007.

Place: den of the SOD

Bret enters the den followed in by the others.

**Bret: **(not happy at all) Vince!

**Sean: **(to DX) Bret's on the warpath.

**Shawn: **All because he's married to me in a fan fic.

**Hunter: **Shawn, why aren't you more upset by this?

**Shawn: **I am determined to stay calm, Hunter. As long as the fan fic doesn't write that Bret and I make out, or remove our clothes to (looks disgusted) you know…I'll be fine.

**Bret: **Vince!

Vince appears on the TV screen.

**Vince: **(yawns) What is it Bret? I'm getting ready to head to bed.

**Hunter: **Wait, you're going to bed, while we're reading a fan fic?

**Vince: **I don't need to be up while you guys read. Shane can handle the controls.

**Sean: **I thought you liked to watch us suffer.

**Vince: **I will watch. That's what recorders are for. Though, granted not as good as the real thing. That's why I'm still up. I wanted to see what you guys thought of you're new fic.

**Bret: **You should have warned us…you should have warned me.

**Vince: **I take it this has to do with you and Shawn…

**Bret: **You guessed right. I could have dealt if you had told me.

**Hunter: **He has a point. In all the fan fics I've read, they've always mentioned when there was slash.

**Vince: **I can't believe you read other fics. Guess I'm not torturing you enough.

**Hunter: **(puts his hands up defensively) No…that's okay…look, I just like to read about myself, is that so wrong?

**Vince: **Just creepy, more so since you're married to my daughter…

**Hunter: **Look, I flame what I hate, okay. It's stress relief.

**Vince: **I guess that's all right then. Now Bret…can I do something for you? So that we can get past…your anger.

**Bret: **Discontinue the current fic.

**Vince: **Besides that.

**Bret: **Figures. Just tell me, how long is it?

**Vince: **Long. And I'd like you to read another chapter before your bedtime, and before I have to take Hunter away for RAW. So guys…if you don't mind…back in the theater.

**Bret: **(breathes out) Fine.

Bret walks through the other misters and heads back to the theater. The others follow him.

End of Chapter 3

More of 'Invasion Of The WWE' to come.


	5. Ch 4: One More Chapter Before Bed

Time: In Satellite time, it is the later in the evening of the day after our heroes read Marie's 'Relationships Of The Future'. On Earth, it is late at night on Thursday, September 13, 2007.

Place: theater of the SOD

Our heroes renter the theater and resume their seats. The fan fic started up again.

_Chapter 1:_

_This nightmare started…for me it started…back in 2006. The exact date was Saturday, June 3, 2006. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) What did you do on June 3, 2006?

**Bret: **(to Shawn) Do you remember what you did on June 3, 2006?

_I remember it all too well._

_At that time, I was still living in Italy with my second wife Cinzia. Cinzia had long dark hair, light blue eyes that contrasted well with her complexion, and a thick Italian accent._

**Bret: **Why couldn't the author have left my wife out of this?

**Hunter: **Now you know what it feels like? (as his own wife had been used in a bad fic)

_I loved her very much._

**Sean: **By the sound of that line Bret, I'd say that by the end of this story, she becomes your ex-wife.

**Bret: **I'm going to have a very big problem with this author if she tells me that I left Cinzia for Shawn.

**Shawn: **Thanks a lot. You think I want to be shacking up with you in Canada of all places.

_Living in Italy was not always easy. I wasn't fluent in the language and kept Cinzia by me when we went to places where people spoke very little English. I missed Canada…but Cinzia wouldn't live there._

**Bret: **(sinks down in his seat as he begins to feel that the last few lines were an all too accurate description of his life with Cinzia)

_Really wanting this marriage to work, where my first hadn't, I did a lot of compromising._

**Shawn: **Doesn't sound like he compromised much with me.

**Bret: **What's that supposed to mean?

**Shawn: **I would never live in Canada either.

**Hunter: **(looks at Shawn with concern)

_I did a lot of thinking too. I had thoughts, many of which I kept from Cinzia, or they would have broken her heart._

**Sean: **I can guess what those thoughts were. (Bret looks at him)

_I was thinking these thoughts, as I sat in my office, when my phone rang at approximately 11:30 in the morning._

_I answered it, "Hello?"_

**Sean: **(attempting to disguise his voice) What's your favorite scary movie?

"_Hi…Bret," said a familiar voice._

"_Hey Mark," I said, smiling. I was happy to hear a friend's voice._

**Hunter: **Not too many people are happy when they hear The Undertaker's voice.

**Bret: **The Undertaker doesn't really like you either Hunter.

**Hunter: **What?

_Mark Calaway – known to wrestling fans as The Undertaker – was a good friend; one of the few from WWE that I still talked to with any regularity. _

**Bret: **Well, he used to be. (considering now that Bret was living three men from the company)

_It was people like him that kept me focused on what was good about my WWE career – and there was a lot – versus what was bad._

**Shawn: **Which Bret chose to focus on a lot.

**Bret: **Don't help the author.

"_How are you doing?" I asked. _

"_Okay," something in Mark's voice told me that he was less than okay._

**Hunter: **(to Bret) You can actually hear expression in The Undertaker's voice?

**Bret: **The more expression, the more he likes you. He really doesn't like you.

**Hunter: **What did I do to him? (Bret shrugs)

"_What's up?" I asked. Thing with Mark was that he very rarely expressed his true feelings. I was, and still am, the same way. _

**Bret: **That is true. It's why he and I got along so well.

_We're just two lone wolves. The way to deal with us is to just wait, and when we're ready, we let it out._

**Sean: **And when they do, watch out. (Bret looks at him) You know I'm right about that.

"_Not much," Mark replied. Then he was quiet._

_I was actually getting a little concerned. I doubted Mark was paying so much money to call me and not talk to me._

**Bret: **The author just wants to draw this conversation out like she did the news article, doesn't she? (the others nod their heads in agreement)

"_Mark, you still there?" I prodded._

"_Yeah, I'm here," said Mark, "I'm glad you're there."_

**Shawn: **(continuing the story) And that's when I hung up the phone.

**Bret: **I would not.

_I wasn't sure what he meant. I said, "Of course, I'm here. Now, what can I do for you?" All right, I knew what I'd said to myself earlier, but some wolves needed to be pushed too._

**Shawn: **Unfortunately, when pushed, wolves tend to attack.

**Bret: **You would know. (Shawn looks at him)

"_Bret," he began, "I have a favor to ask you…a big one."_

**All: **Uh oh.

"_Okay, anything. You name it," I replied. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) You deserve anything you get now Bret.

_I would do anything for Mark. He'd been there for me enough times in the past._

**Bret: **And that last statement's true, but did I have to say anything?

"_Would you come to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on June 5__th__?" he asked._

**Hunter: **Not if Bret realizes that that's where RAW took place.

"_Um…Mark, June 5__th__ is a Monday." I suddenly didn't like this conversation._

**Bret: **I think I realized it.

"_Yeah, I know," he said, "Will you come?"_

"_You're not asking me to come to RAW, are you?" I asked._

**Shawn: **(to Bret) You did say anything.

"_I told you I was asking for a big favor," he said._

"_I didn't think it was that big," I said. Mark knew my feelings about WWE. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) The whole world knows your feelings on WWE.

"_Why in the world would you ask me?" I asked._

**Sean: **You know Bret, the only reason anyone would ask you to RAW is if something out of this world occurred.

**Bret: **So what's Vince's excuse for asking?

**Sean: **His desire for out-of-this-world ratings.

"_Because I trust you," and then he said what I didn't understand at the time, "And I really need someone I can trust."_

**Shawn: **There's that trust thing again.

"_What do you mean, need someone you can trust?" _

"_I'd rather not tell you over the phone," he said, _

**Hunter: **I never thought that I would see the day that The Undertaker was paranoid.

"_Please, Bret."_

_I know now that there was fear and desperation in that voice. _

**Hunter: **It's a side of The Undertaker I've never seen before.

"_Okay, Mark, I'll be there."_

**Bret: **Damn me.

"_Thank you," Mark said._

"_You'd just better not leave my side the whole time I'm there," I told him._

"_You can bet on that," he said. _

**Shawn: **Aw, Bret needs a bodyguard to face the WWE.

**Bret: **I need a body probably to protect you from me. We weren't friends in 2006.

**Shawn: **Well, something has to change. You marry me by 2011. (Bret is about to comment)

**Sean: **At this rate, let's hope we make it to 2011.

_Then he said, "See you soon," and hung up._

_After hanging up on my end, I went and told Cinzia what was going on. _

**Bret: **And hoped that she would talk me out of going.

_I was surprised when she told me to book two flights to the States, as she rarely accompanied me when I traveled out of Italy._

**Bret: **Damn again.

_At the time, I was glad she was coming along. I hadn't liked my conversation with Mark. Of course, in retrospect, that should have been reason for me to not have taken Cinzia along._

**Shawn: **They say hindsight is 20/20.

_Chapter 2:_

**Sean: **I hope the mood of this story picks up. No offense Bret, but you're kind of depressing me.

**Bret: **It's not my fault; it's the author's.

**Sean: **Who's writing through you.

**Bret: **It's still the author's fault.

**Hunter: **Not to interrupt…

**Bret & Sean: **Too late.

**Hunter: **That was the end of chapter 1, right?

**Shawn: **Right.

**Hunter: **And Vince said that we could go to bed after reading it, right?

**Shawn: **Right.

**Hunter: **Then what are we still doing here?

**Shawn: **Good point.

**Hunter: **Let's go then.

**Bret: **Good night, everybody.

End of Chapter 4 (of my fic)

There's more to come soon.


	6. Ch 5: A Rude Awakening

Time: In Satellite time, it is the early morning, but not too early, on the following day. On Earth, it is Saturday evening on September 15, 2007.

Place: The hallway of the SOD outside the sleeping quarters

All of a sudden, the fan fic sign alarms and the red alert go off.

From inside the sleeping quarters, the sounds of people being rudely awakened are heard.

Finally, one after the other, four automatic doors slid open and out stepped our four heroes. Each man, still clothed in pajamas, covered his ears with his hands. They had to shout over the alarms to be heard.

**Hunter: **What the hell?

**Sean: **There has to be a malfunction in the alarm system.

**Bret: **Either that or Vince intended us to be up.

**Shawn: **That would be cruel…(off Bret's look) I see what you mean.

**Bret: **Let's head into the theater.

**Hunter: **What for?

**Bret: **The alarm has always stopped when we've gone in there.

Bret headed for the theater and the others followed.

And Bret was right. Once our heroes were in the theater, the alarms stopped.

They didn't move towards the aisle, but remained just inside.

**Sean: **(looking towards the screen) Oh, no.

The others looked at the screen too.

_Guys…_

**Bret: **Marie?

_Yes._

_Take a seat._

**Hunter: **Or what?

_The alarms go off inside the theater._

Our heroes walked down the aisle towards their seats. As they were walking, Bret noticed that Sean was limping.

**Bret: **Kid, you okay?

**Sean: **(seeing that Bret was looking at his legs) Oh…yeah…I hurt my knee.

Sean moved into the aisle first, followed by Bret, Shawn and Hunter.

**Shawn: **(to Sean) How'd you hurt your knee?

**Sean: **I…(embarrassed)

_He fell out of bed._

**Sean: **(growls) Nothanks to Vince.

_Actually, I set the alarms off this time. _

**Shawn: **You did?

**Hunter: **I thought that Vince had control over the alarms.

_No, I do too. And Vince instructed me to ring mine at this time._

**Shawn: **Because…

_Vince wanted you guys to read more of Laura's story before Hunter was taken back to Earth for the next RAW._

**Sean: **How much more?

_As much as Hunter has time for._

**Hunter: **Could you make sure that I have enough time to shower? I'd like to look good for Stephanie.

_Why, Hunter, are you asking me for a favor?_

**Hunter: **(gritting his teeth) Yes.

_Say please._

**Hunter: **Please.

_Say pretty please._

**Hunter: **(growls)

**Shawn: **Hunter! You'd better say it, or Marie and Vince could send you to see Stephanie in Matt Striker's teaching clothes…and you'd be grungy.

**Hunter: **Errr…(calms down, to the screen) pretty please.

_I'll consider it. _

_Now, your fan fic…you remember where you left off, right?_

**Sean: **The Undertaker called Bret and asked him to come to Pittsburgh on a Monday.

**Bret: **So my character has to be at a RAW show.

_Good. Here you go._

_Chapter 2:_

_It was Monday morning on June 5__th__ when Cincia and I got off of the plane in Pittsburgh._

_It had been a long flight from Italy. _

**Shawn: **(as Bret) And boy were my arms tired. (Hunter groaned beside him) What?

**Hunter: **That's got to be the oldest line in the world.

_I was tired. Cinzia had been able to sleep during most of the flight; I hadn't been so lucky._

**Bret: **A plane ride from Italy to Pittsburgh is over nine hours long. If I didn't sleep, what the heck did I do for nine hours?

**Sean: **Do you really want to know? (Bret decided that he didn't)

_When we arrived at the airport, Mark was there to pick us up. Despite trying to be inconspicuous, between his size and our recognizable faces, we caused a commotion._

**Sean: **No offense Bret, but I'd notice Undertaker's size and face sooner than your face.

**Bret: **Thanks.

_After signing autographs, I was relieved to reach Mark's car. I was grateful that fans still remembered me, _

**Shawn: **Grateful, but surprised.

**Bret: **I'll have you know that when I do autograph signings, the crowds are very large.

_but since my stroke a few years ago, I have difficulty being in large groups. _

**Shawn: **You had difficulty being in large groups before your stroke. (Bret looks at him)

**Hunter: **He's right about that, Bret.

**Bret: **So I preferred, and still do, to be around fewer people, is that so wrong?

_And soon, I'd be among a group which I doubted would welcome me._

**Sean: **You're still very depressing, Bret.

**Bret: **(sighs)

"_Thanks for coming guys," Mark said, pulling me out of my deep thoughts._

**Shawn: **I think you think too much, Bret.

**Bret: **Beats not thinking at all.

"_No problem," I said, "I'm just wondering why you asked me here."_

**Sean: **(as The Undertaker) What makes you think there's a reason other than I missed you?.

"_I will tell you, Bret," he said, "But I want to wait until we get to the hotel."_

**Bret: **Is the car bugged or something?

**Sean: **Well, Mark probably rented the car through Vince, so it could be.

_He was serious about this, so I didn't press. In truth, with Mark so elusive, it's the only word I can use to describe him, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what he had to tell me._

**Sean: **On the plus side, he's not a pod.

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_We reached the hotel at 10:23am. _

**Hunter: **Is that exact?

**Shawn:** Actually, they arrived fifty-one seconds after 10:23.

_Cinzia and I checked into a hotel room. With Mark's help, we brought our luggage to our room._

**Sean: **(to Bret) How much luggage do you bring on trips?

**Bret: **Not that much. I have two suitcases…three for longer trips. Cinzia's the same.

"_Why don't I stay here and unpack, while you two catch up?" said Cinzia._

**Shawn: **Okay, first I put dinner on the table; now, Cinzia unpacks. (to Bret) Don't you do anything for yourself.

**Bret: **You're one to talk.

_I said that was a good idea, and Mark agreed with me. My wife didn't need to hear whatever Mark was going to say. I figured that if it was important, than I could tell her myself._

**Sean: **What a good husband you are, Bret. (Bret looks at him)

_Leaving Cinzia to unpack, Mark and I went to his room. He opened the door for me and signaled for me to sit on the couch, so I did. He sat down beside me._

**Sean: **I hope Mark didn't call you for the reason that I'm suddenly thinking of. (Bret glares at him)

_I noticed the distraught expression on his face. "Mark, why did you call me all the way out here?"_

**Sean: **(as Mark) Because I love you.

"_Bret, do you think it's possible..." he began, _

**Sean: **(as Mark) That you could find it in your heart to love me.

**Bret: **That's enough!

**DX: **(laughs)

**Bret: **You put the Kid up to that.

**Shawn: **No.

**Hunter: **We just find it funny.

"_Do you think it's possible to lose one's mind all of a sudden?"_

**Bret: **Like I'm losing mine.

"_I don't understand," I said._

"_Just answer the question," he said, "Truthfully as you can."_

"_I suppose it must be possible." Then, I tried to lighten him up, "There are a lot of crazies in the world."_

**Shawn: **Like Vince?

**Hunter: **Too obvious.

_Mark didn't lighten up. If anything, his expression grew darker, "And I'm just another crazy."_

**Shawn: **Nice going Bret, now you made him think he's crazy.

**Bret: **Something tells me that he didn't need my help.

"_Mark, you're not crazy." He's one of the sanest people I know._

"_I think I must be, Bret."_

"_Then see a shrink," _

**All: **(shocked eyes)

**Shawn: **How insensitive.

_I allowed some of my annoyance to creep into my voice. I didn't mean to, but I was tired._

**Shawn: **(shaking his head at Bret) For shame.

**Bret: **Shut up.

"_A shrink can't help me," Mark replied._

"_I don't think I can if you don't tell me what's wrong?"_

**Bret: **That's true at least. My character can't help till he knows what's up?

"_The best I can explain it is this:" he said, "Last Thursday, Vince called me to ask if I'd meet with him the next day. Well…I met with him."_

"_Mark, did Vince do something or say something to you?"_

**Sean: **(as Mark) He sexually abused me.

**All: **Kid!!

"_He said that I could have the weekend off," Mark said. _

_I thought it was more serious than that, "Mark, isn't that a good thing?"_

_"I had a house show to appear on. __When have you ever known Vince to give time off when you have a scheduled appearance? "_

**Hunter: **He gives you time off when you're injured.

**Shawn: **Yeah, injured to the point that you can't deliver a good match.

"_Are you injured?" I asked. Mark shook his head. "Personal problems? Family problems?" I asked. Mark shook his two more times._

**Shawn: **Then Mark's right. It is weird that Vince is giving him time off.

"_I'm fine, Bret, as it relates to those things…Or, I was."_

_I raised an eyebrow, hoping he'd explain._

**Hunter: **Unfortunately for us, he did.

**Bret: **(knowing that this whole thing is being taped and sent to Earth) I can't help but think that when Mark reads this and sees our reactions, that he's going to demand a word with Vince.

_"After figuring that Vince was being generous," _

**All: **(laugh at Vince being described as generous)

_he continued, _ "_I took the time off. I went home. __And I was happy at being able to see my wife and kids…until I got home…"_

"_Is Sara okay?"_

**Bret: **Did my character forget that Mark just said that he had no family problems?

**Shawn: **Don't you remember that he also contradicted himself.

"_No, and neither are my kids."_

"_How so?" I asked._

**Bret: **I don't talk like that.

"_They were different, Bret," Mark said._

"_Different how?"_

**Sean: **More vague answers. I'm seeing a pattern.

"_They __**were**__ kids."_

"_They're not now?" I asked._

**Shawn: **Kids grow up awful fast these days.

"_Well my one-year old daughter, Gracie," Mark said," She's got a fussy nature and cries often. _

**Hunter: **I just had an image of Mark walking the floors at three in the morning with his kid in his arms.

**Sean: **Talking from personal experience, Hunter. (after a moment, Hunter nodded)

_I even prayed that she would stop fussing for awhile, that way Sara could get some rest. I think I prayed too hard."_

"_Why's that?"_

**Sean: **I know why.

"_Because my daughter doesn't cry anymore."_

**Sean: **(more urgently) I know why.

**Hunter: **We know you know, but I want to get through this fan fic.

"_Mark, it's not unusual for kids to be fussier at some points in their lives than others."_

"_I know that," he said a bit upset._

**Shawn: **You're not being especially helpful, Bret.

**Bret: **My character was just making a point.

_"And I wouldn't be going on about this if I also saw Gracie laugh or smile. She and her sister don't do those things anymore."_

**Sean:** (even more urgently, actually raising his arms) I know why.

**All (but Sean): **The pods!

**Sean: **(puts arms across chest) You're no fun.

"_At all?" I asked._

**Sean: **(brooding) Not at all.

_Mark nodded, "It's like they're serious little adults now. And they certainly don't see that in me or Sara." _

**Hunter: **(knowing how serious The Undertaker was) Mark must be quite different at home then.

_He paused a moment, "Although, Sara is exhibiting the same type of behavior."_

"_In what way?"_

"_When Sara laughs, it's musical. _

**Shawn: **Musical like little bells, or musical like a pipe organ?

_I love her laugh," he paused here. Whatever he had to say was difficult for him to say, "Now she doesn't make it anymore. And when I kiss her – what used to be warm – is now cold. _

**Hunter: **That's usually how people describe The Undertaker.

**Shawn: **Pal, how many people do you know that have kissed The Undertaker?

**Hunter: **I meant, generally, that The Undertaker is cold.

_It's like I'm kissing a stranger." Then, he added, "Bret, my wife and my kids aren't my wife and my kids anymore."_

**Sean: **Finally, someone put that line in.

_I stared at Mark for what must have been a full minute before saying, "Mark…"_

"_You think I'm crazy, don't you?"_

**Bret: **Not this again.

**Shawn: **Well, you did make it a little obvious that you don't believe him.

"_No," and I admit, I did a little. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Some friend you are.

_What he was saying didn't make sense. But this was Mark, my friend, and he wasn't the kind to lose his mind. "Look Mark, I don't think you're crazy. _

**Bret: **(to Shawn) See, I am a good friend.

_Confused, maybe, not crazy."_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) I'm sure Mark feels so much better.

"_I wish to God that I was just confused," said Mark. "But I'm also afraid."_

**Hunter: **Once again, my image of The Undertaker has been tarnished.

"_Why?"_

"_Because Friday night," Mark said, "I was sleeping…but then I heard these noises. And I awoke…and found Sara lying beside me."_

"_Doesn't she usually?"_

**Sean: **If she doesn't, then there's something wrong.

"_Yes. But she was staring at me with the coldest expression I have ever seen. And when I was awake, I didn't hear the noises anymore."_

_I thought that Mark must have been dreaming, _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Shows you how much faith you have in him.

**Bret: **Any other person in my character's position would think the same thing.

_but I asked the following anyway, "Where were the noises coming from?"_

"_From behind me. From inside my closet," Mark said,_

**Hunter: **Isn't Mark too old for a closet monster?

**Sean: **You thought that about me, but need I remind you that there was actually something in my closet?

"_I know they were," he said almost desperately," So, for the rest of that Friday, I never fell asleep, but only looked like I did. _

**Hunter: **That's a scary thought.

**Shawn: **What is?

**Hunter: **Seeing The Undertaker after he hasn't slept. He's not exactly a handsome man.

**Bret: **Hunter, Vince is probably sending this to him. He'll know what you're saying.

**Hunter: **First, The Undertaker works on Smackdown, and secondly, he's out due to a real injury right now.

_I kept one eye open and turned on my side in a way that Sara couldn't see that I was awake." He paused. "And there's another reason why I know that the noises came from my closet. At one point, in the middle of the night, she got up and looked inside it."_

**Sean: **So Sara would have seen that the pod wasn't duplicating and would have known that Mark wasn't asleep. In other words, Mark is screwed.

"_Did you ever look inside your closet?" I asked._

**Sean: **(to Bret) Something tells me that if you did, you wouldn't be talking to Mark.

"_No, Sara never left the room, not even when I got out of bed in the morning. And I didn't want her to know that __**I**__ knew that something strange was going on._

**Sean: **But she did know that you knew that something strange was going on, even though you didn't know what, because she knew that you didn't sleep, you know.

**Hunter: **Shut up, Kid! You're giving me a headache.

_Instead, I dressed_

**Shawn: **Wait, how'd Mark dress if he didn't go into his closet? (the others shrug)

_and got the hell out of my house. _

**Shawn: **Sounds to me like you went out only half dressed.

_I ended up spending most of Saturday and Sunday in a hotel room. That's where I called you from. "_

"_I see," I said – although I was actually more confused than ever._

"_What am I going to do, Bret?"_

**Sean: **Die.

**Bret: **(to Sean) Now who's being depressing?

**Hunter: **The Undertaker can die?

**Shawn: **Well that's a big blow for Undertaker fans.

"_I'm sure there has to be a good explanation for Friday, Mark."_

"_What?"_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) I want to see you explain this one.

**Bret: **Okay, could you all, especially you Shawn, stop looking at me like I really did and what the fan fic says I did?

**Shawn: **It really annoys you, doesn't it? (Bret says nothing) I can see that it does. You know that just gives me incentive to keep doing it.

"_I don't know," I said, "Maybe you're stressed at work. Maybe there __**are**__ problems between you and Sara and you don't realize it."_

**Shawn: **And I thought I wasn't one for subtlety.

**Bret: **(not wanting to ask, but does) Why do you say that?

**Shawn: **Because I would never say what you just said the way you said it.

**Hunter: **(reacting to Shawn's last comment) My head really hurts now.

_Adamantly, Mark said, "I'm telling you that's not the case."_

_Mark sounded so sure, so I replied, "Okay, we'll figure out what __**is**__ really going on?"_

"_Thanks," Mark said, "I hope we figure it out soon. I miss my wife and kids." _

"_Just curious, but what have you told Sara? I take it that she has to be wondering why you left home."_

**Sean: **I suddenly wonder if pods can wonder about anything. (to the others) That is, if wonderment is an emotional thing or not.

**Hunter: **You know what I wonder, Kid?

**Sean: **What?

**Hunter: **I wonder why you even care.

"_I did tell her before I left Saturday morning that Vince had called and asked me to come back because one of the wrestlers had gotten seriously injured on Smackdown and couldn't compete in the scheduled house show."_

"_And she bought that?" I asked._

**Sean: **Even if she didn't know what she knew, I think that would have been hard to believe.

"_I doubt it," Mark said," And now she's wondering when I'll be home again. I ended up saying that I didn't know." He paused before saying, "And then I said I loved her…And she hung up without saying it back."_

**Sean: **Pods don't love.

"_Maybe she got busy, Mark." _

"_She always says I love you after I say it. I tell you Bret, she's not the same…and she's not the only one."_

"_What do you mean?"_

**Bret: **Shut up me. (Shawn looks at him worriedly)

"_I already told you about Vince," Mark said, "Well Shane's queer too. So's Pat Patterson and Gerri Brisco."_

**Shawn: **I knew about Patterson, but Vince, Shane, and Brisco are gay?

**Hunter: **I think that the author is using the word queer to mean weird.

**Shawn: **Oh.

"_Mark, they've always been strange. They're Vince's stooges."_

**Hunter: **Good luck trying to figure out which one is Larry, Curly or Moe.

"_That may be, but Bret, some of the wrestlers aren't themselves, like Hacksaw and Booker T."_

"_What's wrong with them?"_

**Hunter: **There was something wrong with Booker when he agreed to do the King Booker gimmick.

_Mark tried to explain, "It's like they have no passion…no feeling in anything they do anymore."_

**Shawn: **You mean like Bret when he went to WCW.

**Bret: **If you take cheap shots at me like that, you'll have no feeling in your body.

_Mark paused before saying, "I asked you here because I want to see if you can see what I've seen."_

**Hunter: **(growls) Normally, I don't encourage the use of the Thesaurus, but in this instance, when the same basic word is used three times, I do.

"_Why me?" I asked._

"_You've known Vince and the others for a long time."_

"_So have some of the other wrestlers," I reminded him._

"_What? Like Shawn?"_

"_I see what you mean." _

**Shawn: **What's that supposed to mean?

**Bret: **(bites his tongue to keep from saying anything)

_Mark said just what I was thinking, "Shawn, and the other wrestlers – who I think are normal – are too oblivious to see anything."_

**Shawn: **Oblivious? (looks at Bret) Am I oblivious? (Bret looks at him and Shawn knows what he's going to say) Ugh…look who I'm asking. (looks to Hunter) Hunter, am I oblivious?

**Hunter: **(he'd just gotten Shawn back, he didn't want to get him angry again) Shawn, we're all a little oblivious sometimes.

**Bret: **(speaking up) You just a little more so. (Shawn glares at him)

_I added, "Too wrapped up in their own world."_

**Sean: **Too wrapped up in their own world to see something that's out of this world.

**Shawn: **You know what? I think my good mood just left me.

**Bret: **Shawn, I will say this…

**Shawn: **Do I want to hear this?

**Bret: **Yes…you're not as bad as you were.

**Shawn:** Thanks…I think.

"_So, will you help me, Bret?"_

_I knew that by helping Mark that I'd be putting myself into a difficult situation. But Mark was my friend, "Of course Mark."_

_With that said, there was no turning back from the events that would unfold._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**Hunter: **How much longer is this chapter?

**Sean: **(to Hunter) It doesn't look like you'll be able to get ready for Stephanie.

_Around 3:00pm, Mark and I prepared to head out for the Pittsburgh Arena where RAW was being held that night._

_Before leaving, I embraced and kissed Cinzia, who'd decided to stay in the hotel as she did not want to get in my way. During our embrace, I found comfort in having her body close to mine, and – maybe because I'd been spooked by what Mark had said – I didn't want to let her go. _

_But I did let her go,_

**Bret: **Why didn't I go with my instincts?

_but not before almost asking her to come with me. Something felt wrong leaving her, but I didn't know what._

**Shawn: **(to Bret) I'd say that you're being oblivious now.

_I did leave her, and once Mark and I were on the road, I let the air clear my head. _

_Mark drove. As he did, he decided to tell me what else was going on in the WWE. Things that, if I didn't know the source, would be considered gossip._

**Hunter: **Now The Undertaker gossips?

_For instance, he mentioned Jerry Lawler's younger girlfriend._

**Shawn: **He always has a younger girlfriend.

_I wasn't surprised. Lawler always had a thing for younger women._

**Bret: **The author doesn't realize that Mark would never tell me this, mostly because I wouldn't want to know.

_He also mentioned that Hulk Hogan was coming back for Summerslam._

**Hunter: **Now the author chooses to put in a bit of reality.

"_To do what?" I asked. _

"_Wrestle."_

**Bret: **'Wrestle' is a word that should be used loosely when Hogan's in the ring.

**Shawn: **If Hogan hears that, he won't be happy.

**Bret: **Hogan knows I don't like him.

"_You can't be serious." I had no love for Hogan, nor did I really respect him as a worker, and Mark knew it. _

**Bret: **Other people know it too.

**Shawn: **You do tend to go on and on about things.

"_Who's he going to wrestle?"_

_Mark said, "Randy Orton."_

"_Randy Orton…" I said thinking about who that was,_

**Bret: **Oh, come on…I know that I didn't follow wrestling regularly, but I knew who Randy was in 2006.

_I finally said, "Not Cowboy Bob Orton's kid?"_

"_The same. Only he's twenty-six and a former World's champion."_

"_Oh God," I said, "Hogan faced his father."_

**Sean: **Didn't Hogan face his grandfather too.

**Shawn: **Hogan's not that old.

**Hunter: **Why are you defending Hogan?

**Shawn: **(thinking) You know what, I don't know.

"_And yet," Mark said, "you just know that Hogan is going to win."_

**Bret: **Typical Hogan match: Hogan enters ring to a crowd of cheers, he rips off shirt, he locks with his opponent, shows his dominance through punches, backdrops and clotheslines; then gets in trouble, flops around on the ring mat, when it looks like the end he's pinned, but kicks out in a big way, then drops the big leg, gets the 1-2-3 and then poses for the crowd.

**Shawn: **If you've seen one Hogan match, you've seen them all.

"_That poor kid." I said, knowing that Hogan wouldn't let Randy look good._

_Finally,,,Mark got around to telling me that Shawn was dating Hunter Hearst Helmsley._

**DX: **What!?

**Bret & Sean: **(snicker)

"_Wait," I said," I thought Hunter was married to Stephanie McMahon?"_

**Hunter: **I am.

"_He is," Mark replied._

**Shawn: **And aren't I still married to Rebecca at this time?

"_Then why…" I asked._

**DX: **Good question.

"_Well," said Mark, "Shawn turned to Hunter…soon after you turned down Shawn…"_

**Bret: **I what?

"_What was I supposed to do?" I replied, " I was married to Julie."_

**Sean: **(to Bret) And by the sound of this fan fic, I think I know why she divorced you.

"_Be that as it may," Mark continued, "Shawn turned to Hunter to get over you_

**Hunter: **So, I'm Shawn's rebound lover?

_and despite Hunter's marriage to Stephanie, he and Shawn have been together a lot."_

"_How do you know that?" I asked._

**Sean: **The Undertaker spies on DX in their locker room?

"_You remember Glenn Jacobs?" Mark asked._

"_The one that played Jerry Lawler's dentist who plays your brother now?"_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Man, Bret, you really are out of the loop if you have to ask that.

_Mark nodded, "Well, he saw Shawn and Hunter entering a utility closet. _

**Sean: **Oh, so Glenn spies on DX in the utility closet and tells The Undertaker.

**Bret: **Sounds like DX's relationship isn't remaining in the closet anymore.

**DX: **(shocked that Bret would be say something so out of character) Bret!

_Curious about what was up, he peered into the keyhole and saw them making out. He said they were really going at it."_

"_Too much information," I said,_

**DX: **Agreed.

"_Does Stephanie know?"_

**Hunter: **If she did, something tells me I wouldn't still be married.

"_Well, it's not like she hasn't grown up in the business. I'd say she probably knows something."_

**Hunter: **If she does, then why am I still married to her? I can't picture her putting up with me cheating.

**Shawn: **Not only that, but you'd be fired. I can't picture Vince putting up with you cheating.

"_Okay…" I said, "Remind me why I'm going to RAW."_

"_Because you're my friend."_

"_If Shawn or Hunter come up to me, could you keep reminding me that?"_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Why if I or Hunter come up to you?

**Bret: **Do I really have to answer that?

"_Be glad to."_

_Chapter 3:_

**Hunter: **(standing, and turning his back to the screen to face the others, thinking the fic is done for now) Time to get ready to see Stephanie.

_Present day:_

**Shawn: **Uh, Hunter, pal…I don't think we're done.

**Hunter: **(turns to see the screen saying 'Present Time') Damn. (sits down)

**Sean: **'Present day'? Is that our present…

**Bret: **I think it means 'present day' in the fic.

**Sean: **Which is actually the future? Which refers to the past?"

**Hunter: **Shut up!

_And that's how things began. All I intended was to help a friend._

_It's easy to write this, which I've decided to sit down and do after reading that article._

**Shawn: **So we're back to Bret reacting to what he'd read.

_What will become of what I write is anyone's guess. What will become of me is anyone's guess._

**Sean: **(to Bret) The way the author writes through you could make a man want to commit suicide.

"_Bret?" Shawn said, entering the living room where I'd gone to write. "What are you doing?"_

**Bret: **Shouldn't the paper and pen, that I assume would be in front of me, give him a clue?

**Shawn: **I'm said to be oblivious, remember.

_I hadn't told him what I was doing. I'd just gone off and done what I wanted. It's that lone wolf in me again._

**Shawn: **(sarcasm) I see that communication is strong in our relationship.

**Bret: **Overpersonalizing.

"_Writing," I said, "About what happened…to us…to all of us." I didn't have to continue. Shawn knew what I'd meant._

**Sean: **How can he if he's oblivious?

"_Can I see what you've written?" Shawn asked._

"_I haven't gotten very far."_

"_Please, Bret. It's my story too."_

_So I let him read what I'd written – what you've already read._

**Hunter: **I'm praying that means that we don't have to recap things.

"_You captured the beginning well," he said after finishing._

"_Even the part where I don't say very good things about you?"_

**Shawn: **Yeah, I would think that I would have a problem with some of that.

"_You're only writing what you were feeling at the time," he answered._

**Shawn: **That is so not me.

**Bret: **Yeah, what I wrote surely would have caused an argument.

**Hunter: **You are both overpersonalizing.

**Sean: **Are you jealous, Hunter? (Hunter glares at him)

"_Thanks," I said, " I'm deciding what to say next…I suppose my meeting with Vince, which happened once I'd entered the Pittsburgh Arena."_

"_What about writing about me…and Hunter."_

**All: **Eww!

**Bret: **Please tell me that my character doesn't.

"_Shawn…"_

"_Bret, you wrote about Cinzia…Please…"_

_I nodded, "You'll have to help me though…so that I get it the way you want it."_

**All: **(groans)

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_As Mark and I had been preparing to drive to the arena, Shawn and Hunter had been doing the same. They'd just spent time with each other in a hotel room._

**Sean: **And we all know what they did. (DX glares at him)

"_We ready to get going?" asked Hunter, as he zipped up his luggage._

"_Yeah." Shawn had said. He finished making the bed. _

**Bret: **Shawn…make a bed…since when? (Shawn glares at him)

_Then he looked at Hunter's luggage, sadly. "I wish we had a little more time."_

**Shawn: **No I don't.

"_You know I have to go back to Stephanie tonight…before she gets any more suspicious than she is."_

_Shawn replied, "You didn't tell me she was suspicious."_

**Sean: **Well, it makes sense that she would be. Hunter must be spending an awful lot of nights away from home.

**Hunter: **That's enough out of you, Kid.

"_You're right," Hunter said after a moment. "Guess it slipped my mind."_

**Shawn: **Another relationship based on communication.

**Sean: **(to Shawn) I'm seeing a pattern in your relationships, both real and fictional.

_Shawn sat on the bed. Hunter came over and sat beside him._

"_Is this worth it?" asked Shawn._

"_Is what worth it?" replied Hunter._

**Hunter: **If you want to communicate, you're going to have to be more specific.

_Shawn replied, "This…this sneaking around."_

"_Shawn, it's not sneaking around."_

**Bret: **What do you call it when you don't tell your wife what you're doing with another person?

**Hunter: **Shut up.

_Shawn answered, irritated, "It's certainly not being honest to your wife."_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Did you just think as the author thought I would think?

**Bret: **I think so.

"_How can I be honest to Stephanie?" Hunter said, "She and I don't have a good relationship. I don't even think I've exchanged one loving sentiment with her."_

"_Then why did you marry her?"_

**Hunter: **Something tells me I'm not going to like seeing the answer.

"_You know that I did so for the baby," Hunter said._

**Hunter: **The baby?

**Sean: **How cliché.

_Hunter had gotten Stephanie pregnant in 2003. _

**Hunter: **Excuse me. I got her pregnant in late 2005.

**Shawn: **Hunter, this fan fic has me down as never being married before 2010, and I'm without kids. If the author can say that, then the author can say that you have a four-year old.

"_Despite the baby, you still didn't have to marry her," Shawn said._

"_Shawn, if I hadn't, Vince would have sued me and then fired me. I had no choice but to marry her."_

**Sean: **(to Hunter) And of course, the actual bonus to your career didn't cross your mind. (Hunter glares at him)

"_And if Vince ever found out that you were cheating on his daughter…"_

**Hunter: **We know!

"_He won't, if we're careful," said Hunter._

**Sean: **How is making out in utility closets being careful?

"_You mean, if we sneak around," Shawn said._

**Sean: **In the utility closet?

**DX: **Enough Kid!

"_For now, that's the way it has to be," Hunter said," But, if I have it my way, it won't be like this forever."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean that when I get the chance, I will divorce Stephanie."_

"_Really?" Shawn said, barely containing his excitement," You'd do that"_

"_In a heartbeat,_

**Shawn: **(to Hunter) I guess that means you really love me.

**Hunter: **Shawn, I do love you…but it's a fan fic. I would never divorce my wife for you.

_And then I'd get you to a preacher as fast as possible."_

**Sean: **Aww.

"_Oh Hunter," Shawn said, putting his arms around Hunter's neck. "Will that day ever happen?"_

"_Yes," said Hunter. _

**Hunter: **Not if I want to keep my job. And it sounds like that's the only thing that's keeping me married to Stephanie.

**Sean: **Just what is Stephanie going to say after reading this?

**Hunter: **She'll be really sorry that I had to read this thing..

_According to Shawn, he was so sure…so determined to see his and Shawn's dreams come true. _

_If he only knew what was coming…if we'd all known…_

**Sean: **Nice, Bret. You just ruined what would be considered a touching moment. (DX looks at him) That's if it wasn't featuring you two, of course.

_Message from Marie:_ _Okay…that's it for now._

**Hunter: **(on the edge of his seat) So I can go now?

_Yes, you can go._

**Hunter: **Do I have time for a shower?

_Yes._

**Hunter: **Yes! (stands, then looks at Shawn) Sorry…

**Shawn: **No need, pal, I understand. Tell Stephanie that I said hi and kiss Aurora for me.

**Hunter: **Will do. (he exits the theater)

**Sean: **So now what?

_I could always send you chapter four._

**Bret: **Why don't I make breakfast?

**Sean: **Sounds good.

**Bret: **Let's go.

The misters exit their row and walked up the aisle.

**Shawn: **Bret, can we have chocolate chip pancakes?

**Bret: **(to Shawn) Sure. (just behind the theater door) Still having divorce issues, aren't you? (opens the door, Sean exits first)

**Shawn: **(in the doorway) Is it that obvious?

**Bret: **I'm not the oblivious one.

**Shawn: **Now cut that out. (exits)

Bret closed the door behind him.

End of Chapter 5

That took awhile to write.

Thanks for your patience. Been really busy this week. The only reason I got as much written as I did this weekend was because I was sick in bed.

Hope you liked this chapter. If you're a Hogan fan, please don't be offended by what I said.


	7. Ch 6: Afternoon Is Just Running On

**Author's Note: I'm finally continuing with my story. I have been quite busy with some other projects and with work.**

**Anyway, last time in this ****fic****: Shawn's memory is back, and Hunter has appeared on WWE programming. DX are friends again.**

**In the bad ****fic sent to our heroes '****Invasion ****Of The**** WWE',** **Bret and Shawn are married. ****Bret is the narrator of the story and has been telling what happened to him, Shawn and the WWE.**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Time: Afternoon on the satellite, after the morning in which our heroes were last in the theater. On Earth, it is late Monday, just after RAW, on September 17, 2007.

Place: The den of the SOD

Monday Night Raw ended. The last segment had been Randy Orton beating up John Cena's dad and Cody Rhodes followed by Cena coming out to save his dad. Randy had gotten away.

After watching RAW, Shawn – who was sitting on the couch – turned off the TV. The Kid sat to his left on the couch and Bret sat to the right in what had become his chair.

**Shawn: **(shook his head, looks at Bret) After RAW tonight, I will never say another thing about your family being involved in WWE.

**Bret: **Thanks.

**Shawn: **At least you never involved your dad in an actual match in WWE.

**Bret: **(uneasily) I did when I was in Stampede.

**Shawn: **Well, at least your father was a wrestler. This whole thing with Cena's dad and Orton was pathetic. Vince is really trying everything to make sure Cena stays more popular than Orton.

**Sean: **That's sad considering Orton's the biggest villain on RAW.

**Shawn: **You said it.

**Bret: **Is Cena that bad? I met him quickly at the Hall Of Fame in 2006 and then I talked to him right around the time that I was on Larry King.

**Shawn: **Cena does have a bad rap…

**Sean: **Because he can't rap?

**Shawn: **It's more than the rapping. He doesn't wear tights or boots…

**Bret: **The Samoan wrestlers all went barefoot.

**Sean: **You know I always wondered how one could wrestle barefoot. Kicks can't be very effective; plus, I wouldn't want to have to make contact with the ring mat after several guys have sweated and even bled on it.

**Shawn: **Anyway…Cena isn't traditional and that bugs some fans.

**Bret:** You should know. Some fans didn't like it that you weren't very traditional.

**Shawn: **(glares) Other fans thought that traditional was boring.

**Sean: **Guys…

**Shawn: **Additionally, Cena's held the title for a long time, yet he doesn't have a lot of wrestling moves.

**Bret: **Neither did Hogan, but no one seemed to mind during his five-year run as champion.

**Shawn: **Rehash.

**Sean: **Changing the subject, I liked it when Hunter clobbered London and Kendrick tonight.

**Bret: **He loses more partners, or possible partners, that way.

Just then, a stream of molecules was beamed onto the satellite. They coalesced into Hunter.

**Shawn: **Welcome back, pal.

**Hunter: **Thanks…(checking himself) All of me is here, right?

**Shawn: **You look and sound all right.

**Hunter:** (sigh of relief considering a few of the other times our heroes had been transported) Good.

**Sean: **We were just talking about you, Hunter.

**Hunter: **Really? What'd you say about me?

**Shawn: **Just that you're a little rough on those that help you.

**Hunter: **I take it you saw RAW.

**Shawn: **Yep.

**Hunter: **I didn't want to hit London and Kendrick, but I told Vince that I wanted to beat someone up. My mistake was in not specifying who.

**Sean: **Nice going.

**Hunter: **(sighs, to Shawn) So what's been going on up here?

**Shawn: **Not much.

**Bret: **According to Satellite time, you've only been away for a few hours.

**Sean: **Not enough time for us to miss you. (Hunter glares)

The fan fic sign alarms suddenly sounded on the ship.

**Hunter: **Not now! I just got back.

Reluctantly, but without any choice, our heroes entered the theater and resumed the seats they'd been in earlier – Sean, Bret, Shawn, and Hunter.

_Marie: Hey guys._

**All: **(hardly cheery) Hi.

_Marie: Nice job tonight Hunter._

**Hunter: **Do you mean that?

_Marie: Of course. Just because I don't like you personally doesn't mean that I don't like you professionally._

**Hunter: **Um...

**Shawn: **(to Hunter) You'd better just take the compliment.

**Hunter: **Thanks…I think.

_Marie: Now that I've done something nice, I need to send you the next part of Laura's story._

**Hunter: **You're a humanitarian.

_Marie: And you get along so well with others. Do you guys remember where you were?_

**Sean: **Yes. The story's become something that could appear on Jerry Springer. Shawn loved Bret a while ago, but Bret didn't return that love…which is probably why, in this fan fic, Montreal occurred. You know, because that's the only way Shawn could screw Bret. Anyway, Shawn, on the rebound, turned to Hunter, who returned the love – despite also knocking up Stephanie, whom he had to marry. But Hunter really wants to be married to Shawn. (when he's done, he sees the other three misters looking at him unhappily)

**Shawn: **You're loving this.

**Sean: **I'm not in this.

_Marie: Well, let's see what happens next, shall we?_

**All: **If we must…

_Chapter 4:_

_I showed Shawn the pages on which I'd written about his relationship with Hunter. Shawn was satisfied and told me to continue with the story._

**All (but Shawn): **Thanks, Shawn.

**Shawn: **Hey.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_It was approximately 3:40pm when Mark and I arrived at the Pittsburgh Arena. As fate would have it, Hunter and Shawn arrived shortly after us, but not before Mark and I had already gone into the building._

**Sean: **(whines) Uh, I wanted to see a brawl in the parking lot.

**Hunter: **I suddenly have the image of The Undertaker chokeslamming me through my windshield.

**Sean: **That would have been awesome! (Hunter glares at Sean)

_Mark escorted me into the arena. He could tell that I was very nervous _

**Shawn: **(as Bret) My eyes were moving right and left...just as they were when I began doing interviews for WWE programming.

**Bret: **At least I don't eat everything in sight when I'm nervous.

_and__ was staying close._

**Shawn: **The Undertaker's a better friend than you are.

**Bret: **What do you mean?

**Shawn: **A few chapters ago, you called him crazy, but is The Undertaker criticizing you for being nervous? (exaggerates) No...(Bret glares at him)

_Just inside, a young security guard stopped us. "Mr. __Calaway__," he said and then looked at me._

_"Yes," said Mark, a little irritated._

**Hunter: **If I were the guard, I'd back away now.

_"I assume this man is…" the guard said now gesturing to me, "family?"_

_"No, he's not," Mark replied._

**Sean: **Do Bret and Mark look related?

**Shawn: **They both have seaweed for hair.

**Bret: **Shawn...

**Shawn: **(nervous) The bad fic made me say it.

_"Then, you know that he can't be here," said the guard._

_Mark's irritation grew, "Why not?"_

_The guard answered, "You know that Vince McMahon doesn't want people outside the business, save for immediate family, to be backstage."_

**Hunter: **And because, at this time, Bret will commit murder if he bumps into Shawn.

_Mark looked at me before saying, "Since when?"_

**Hunter: **Since almost ten years ago.

_"It was announced last week," said the guard._

_"I wasn't aware of any announcement," said Mark._

_"Now you are," said the guard. _

**Hunter: **Why would there be a formal announcement. I thought that needing to keep Bret and Shawn apart would be common knowledge.

**Sean: **Quit it, Hunter. I'm having problems following the text.

**Shawn: **Why would you even try?

_The guard looked at me again, "So, who is this?"_

_"You're telling me you don't recognize him?" asked Mark._

_"No, sir," the guard answered,_

**Sean: **He must not be a wrestling fan.

**Shawn: **Either that or he's been recently hired and has really never heard of Bret because Vince buried The Hitman's career. (Bret looks at him) Just saying.

_"Should I?"_

_Mark replied, "This is Bret the __Hitman__ Hart."_

**Sean: **The Excellence of Execution.

**Hunter: **The Pink And Black Attack.

**Shawn: **(mockingly) How terrifying.

**Bret: A**nd Heartbreak Kid strikes fear into the hearts of opponents everywhere.

_"Should I know that name?" he asked._

_"How long have you worked here?" Mark wondered._

_"Five years," came the reply._

**Shawn: **(smugly) Hah! I was right, the guy's too new to know who Bret is.

_"Mark, it's fine," I said._

_"No, it's not," Mark said, looking at me. Then, he looked back at the guard, as he was pointing at me, "Look, this man belongs here. If you don't know why, then ask Mr. McMahon himself."_

**Shawn: **And when the guard goes to Vince, Vince says, "Hmm...I don't remember Bret the Hitman Hart."

**Bret: **Shawn, this takes place after the 2006 Hall of Fame.

**Hunter: **Yeah, Vince didn't bury him that well. (Bret glares at Hunter)

_After a moment, the guard replied, "Very well, then. Continue on."_

_"Damn right we'll continue on," Mark growled back. _

**Sean: **Darn, I was hoping that The Undertaker was going to chokeslam the guard.

_Then, he and I walked away from the guard and went further into the backstage arena._

_"Thanks for sticking up for me," I said after a moment._

**Shawn: **Mark's a real pal.

_"No problem," Mark replied._

_We continued along. A few of Vince's people walked ahead of us or passed us, but unlike the guard, they didn't bother us._

**Hunter: **That's unrealistic. If Bret came to a WWE show, there'd be a mob lined up.

**Sean: **Especially to see if he'd attack Shawn.

**Bret: **Can we stop mentioning that I'm going to attack Shawn?

**Sean: **Would you rather we talk about your marriage to him? (Bret looks angrily at him)

_"We'll probably find some of the guys where the catering is._

**Shawn: **Catering? Vince doesn't usually feed us before a RAW show.

**Hunter: **The author doesn't know that.

_The guys that had autograph sessions will be there," Mark said._

_I didn't know how it would be to be among 'the guys'._

_Chapter 5:_

**Sean: **Anyone need a break?

**Hunter: **I actually want to keep going.

**Shawn: **Why?

**Hunter: **So we can get through this. I'm afraid about just how much longer this is.

_We eventually found catering. It was towards the other side of the building. And there, we found 'the guys'._

_Four anyway…and one was a woman. _

**Sean: **Not that Bret would pay much attention to such a detail in this fic.

**Bret: **Why?

**Sean: **Well, first, I doubt your wife would like it if you paid another woman attention, and two, later in this fic, you turn out to be gay. (Bret sighs)

_I saw the WWE champion, John __Cena__ and the intercontinental champion Shelton Benjamin. The other two in the room were Johnny Nitro and his girlfriend and valet Melina Perez. _

_I'd met all of them at the Hall of Fame and I'd talked to __Cena__ a little._

**Hunter: **(to Bret) That must have been a riveting conversation.

**Shawn: **Who cares…I thought the story said that there was a woman among the four 'guys'.

**Sean: **(rereading the last lines of the stories) There is. (reading the name) Melina.

**Hunter: **If you consider her a woman. Of course, you also have to wonder if Nitro can be considered a man.

**Shawn: **Oh, so Nitro's the woman. I get it.

_"Hey guys," Mark said._

_"Hi Mark," said __Cena_

_Mark gestured to me, "Everyone, I'm sure you know who this is."_

**Shawn: **(answering for the fanfic) Should we?

**Bret: **Let's not start that all over again.

_"Bret Hart," Nitro said._

_All I could say was, "Hi."_

_"How are you, man?" __Cena__ said, coming up to me. He shook my hand._

_I replied, letting go of his hand, "I'm good."_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Probably better now that Cena's let go of your hand.

_"What are you doing here?" __Cena__ asked._

_"Mark invited me," I said._

_Mark added, "Yeah, I wanted him to check some stuff out."_

_"Cool," Shelton said._

_"Guess we'll see you around then," said Melina._

_"Guess so," I said._

**Hunter: **This dialogue is so exciting.

**Sean: **Someone hit someone. I need violence.

_Then, a voice said from behind me, "Shouldn't you check about that with me first?"_

_I knew that voice. _

**Bret: **Yes, Devil?

_I turned and there was Vince McMahon._

_After a moment, my old boss said, __"My security man said you were__ in the building, w__hy?"_

**Hunter: **Hasn't that question been asked at least three times already?

_"I invited him," said Mark, _

**Shawn: **And now an answer's been given at least three times.

_"He belongs here."_

_To this, Vince said__, "Of course he does."_

**Sean: **And now, Bret hits Vince?

_I looked at Vince. I hadn't expected him to say that__I thought Vince would say something to cause my temper to flare. _

**Sean: **So did I.

_But Vince said no more and walked away._

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**Shawn: **That's it…Vince would not have just walked away.

**Hunter: **Oh I see, now the fic has to talk about Shawn and me.

_Upon entering the building, __DX was met by Vince._

_"Gentlemen," Vince began._

_"Hey, dad," said Hunter. _

**Bret: **(to Hunter) You call Vince dad?

**Hunter: **Never.

_Shawn said that Hunter always said that to Vince in order to annoy the WWE owner. _

**Hunter: **It would annoy him, but there's still no way that I'd say it.

_Vince always snarled back a response…but Vince hadn't been doing that lately._

**Sean: **Pods don't snarl. They create this kind of low howl that carries on the air.

_Instead of responding to Hunter, Vince spoke in a dry, business-like manner, "You should go to your dressing room."_

_Hunter said, "Right after I check out the catering."_

**Shawn: **I wish we had catering before RAW.

**Hunter: **I'm glad we don't or with as nervous as you get, you'd be four hundred pounds.

**Shawn: **Thanks a lot.

_"No," Vince said, "Now." It was not a request._

**Shawn: **(to Hunter) We must have been bad. Your dad is doing the equivalent of sending us to our room.

**Hunter: **He's not my dad.

**Shawn: **Just getting you back for the nervous eating crack.

_"Is anyone else here yet?" asked Shawn._

**Sean: **You would be surprised by just who is here.

_"A few," said Vince, "Go to your dressing room." Then, Vince walked away._

**Bret: **Vince isn't following through. If he wants DX in their room, he should be using guards to escort them…and then ensure that they stay there. (DX looks at him before looking back at the screen)

_Shawn and Hunter exchanged looks._

_Shawn said, "Is it just me, or is Vince odder than usual?"_

_"He's odder than usual," Hunter said._

_"You don't think he knows about us, do you?"_

**Sean: **He probably has a tape of you two making out in a closet. (DX glares at him)

_"I doubt it," Hunter answered, "We're careful."_

**Sean: **And then DX will find that their moments of passion can be seen on You Tube.

**Shawn: **(Hunter is looking at him like what is DX going to do to shut Sean up) I'll grab his arms while you punch him.

_"Think we should do as Vince says and go to our dressing room?" said Shawn._

_"What do you think?" Hunter said, tossing the question back._

_"Catering…I'm hungry," Shawn said._

_"You nervous about something?"__ Hunter said. _

**Shawn: **That's it…I'm never eating again.

**Bret: **Guess I won't have to ask Vince to send food up here as often then.

_"How could you tell I was nervous?" said__ Shawn as he followed Hunter.__ Hunter just rolled his eyes._

**Shawn: **(sarcastically to Hunter) Thanks pal. That doesn't do a thing for my nerves.

_Chapter 6:_

_DX found catering._

**Sean: **And trouble.

_I didn't even see them come in. Mark and I were talking to John and my back was to the doorway from which DX entered._

**Shawn: **And since Bret's back was to me, I didn't recognize him. (Bret looks to him) If I have to put up with jokes about nervous eating, you need to put up with jokes about not being recognized.

_I only knew that something had happened because Melina, who'd been discussing some things with Nitro and Shelton Benjamin, stopped talking._

**Hunter: **Something besides oral sex got Melina to stop talking?

**All (but Hunter): **Hunter!

**Sean: **(to Hunter) I'm so proud of you.

_John also stopped talking and his eyes got a bit bigger and kept travelling from my face to something way in back of me._

_I had an unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach…but I turned anyway. And there, standing in the doorway…_

**Bret: **Demons.

_DX._

**DX: **(glances at Bret before Bret can respond)

_Everyone __just __stood there. Shawn and I were staring across the room at each other. Hunter stared at Shawn and Mark stared at me. _

**Sean: **A four way staring contest. Last person's eyelids to remain open wins.

_The others in the room kept looking at both Shawn and I. They were waiting to see what Shawn and I would do._

**Sean: **(whispering) Fight…Fight…

_It was Shelton Benjamin that broke the silence, "I'd better go."_

_Nitro added, "Yeah…I have to get dressed and warm up."_

**Hunter: **With or without Melina?

**Shawn: **I take it that when we were fighting, you hung out with the Kid a little too much.

_Slightly puzzled, Melina said, "Get dressed and warm up? But Raw is a few hours away."_

_Nitro took his girlfriend's hand and pulled her along, "But the first match of the night is only minutes away."_

**Sean: **I hope so.

_I knew Nitro meant Shawn and I knew that he and Benjamin didn't want any part of it__, so with Melina, they left._

**Sean: **And found a place to have a three way.

**All (but Sean): **Kid!

**Sean: **Hunter started it.

_Cena__ remained however. In my mind, I couldn't help but think how we had all the makings of a great tag match: DX versus myself and The Undertaker, with John __Cena__ as the special guest referee._

**Hunter: **Like I'd trust Cena to referee one of my matches.

_Mark was the first of the five of us to speak. "Shawn…"_

_"What is he doing here?" Shawn said._

**Shawn: **Here we go again.

**Hunter: **Four times, the same question.

_"I invited him," Mark replied._

**Shawn: **Four times, the same answer.

_"You invited him?" Shawn said._

_"Does Vince know?" Hunter asked._

_"He does now," said Mark._

_Hunter looked at Shawn, "Guess that's why Vince wanted us in our dressing room."_

**Sean: **(to Hunter) Dad knows best.

**Shawn: **(upon seeing Hunter glare at Sean, says to Hunter) How's it feel being on the receiving end of a run on joke.

**Hunter: **At least mine is fictionally based.

_"I would have liked more of a warning," Shawn said._

**Bret: **I've told you this before Shawn, the world does not revolve around you.

_"Shawn, Bret is my guest." Mark said, "Don't make a big deal.__"_

_"Don't make a big deal?" Shawn said dramatically, "My least favorite person is standing before me and you're telling me not to make a big deal."_

_Mark replied, "Yes. __This arena is big__, Shawn__. You and Bret don't need__ to be anywhere __near__ each other.__"_

**Sean: **Considering that lately there's been a whole ocean between Shawn and Bret, I don't think the arena's big enough.

_"What matters is that he's here," said Shawn._

_'And people accuse me of being bitter,' I thought but did not say._

**Shawn: **Hey, I'm not being bitter.

_What I did say to Mark was, "I knew coming here was a mistake."_

_Mark looked at me, "Don't let him get to you."_

**Sean: **(to the screen) Let him get to you. I want to see fighting.

_"You're right that coming here was a mistake, Bret," Shawn said suddenly. "You don't belong here."_

**All: **Uh oh…

_T__hat was the second time I'd heard that said that__ day…and while I had my doubts about being there, there was no way in hell that the man who__m__ I blamed for partly destroying my career was going to keep making me doubt myself._

**Shawn: **And now I have a headache, as I always do when Bret rants.

**Bret: **I don't rant.

_"Now hold on just a minute," I said angrily, "I was raised in wrestling. I was a part of almost every major change in the profession including when the territories disappeared, when wrestling became a huge family oriented spectacle and I was there at the beginning of the 'attitude era'."_

**Shawn: **More ranting.

_"One," Shawn said beginning to count on his fingers and enumerate his points, "you grew up in a wrestling family. I know you've said that there was never any pressure for you to be a wrestle, but let's stop kidding ourselves…you had a very demanding father…I have one too…he wanted me to go into the military so bad…and your fa__ther wanted you in wrestling…so__ you were."_

**Bret: **(to Shawn) Oh, and that's not ranting?

**Shawn: **That's counter ranting.

**Bret: **Counter ranting?

**Shawn: **Kind of like counter arguing, just with rants.

**Bret: **Fine, allow me to counter your counter rant.

**Shawn: **Be my guest.

**Bret: **My father wanted me to stay in amateur wrestling, which is far different than professional wrestling.

_"Shut your mouth," I said, "You don't know what you're talking about."_

_"Oh, I don't…" Shawn said, "All you ever wanted to do was please your father. And about the destruction of the territories…I was there for that too. I was in the AWA at its end."_

_"And you barely got into the WWE. Gagne had to convince Vince to hire you and Marty __Jannetty__," I said, "and then the two of you got yourselves fired."_

**Shawn: **Okay, why is the author digging up things from 1987?

**Bret: **Because mentioning the Montreal Screwjob wouldn't drag this fan fic out long enough.

_"But Vince needed us back in order to breathe new life into the tag te__am division…" Shawn said the comment coughing it __into his hand,_

**Bret: **Coughing it into your hand because you know that it would get you punched in the face.

_Shawn continued, __"I wonder, did Vince need Marty and I because you and __Neidhart__ were dragging?"_

_"You know very well that the Hart Foundation was one of the best tag teams," I said._

_"Perhaps," Shawn said, "A__s to your last point, you weren't there for the attitude era."_

**Sean: **Exactly what is 'The Attitude Era' defined as?

**Hunter: **The shift in the way the WWE did things. Instead of goofy cartoon wrestlers like Doink the Clown, the WWE had more realistic wrestlers and did away with strictly bad and good guys.

**Sean: **That I knew. When did it start?

**Hunter: **Some say it began when Austin did his 6:13 speech at the 1996 King Of The Ring and others say it didn't begin till after the Screwjob.

_"What the hell do you think my match with Austin at __Wrestlemania__ 13 was about?" I said._

**Bret: **It was the effort by Austin and I to save the show after Shawn refused to drop the belt to me.

**Hunter: **(puts a hand on Shawn's shoulder as Shawn leans angrily towards Bret)

_"You'd like to take credit for everything, Bret," Shawn said._

_"No Shawn…" I said, "That's you. Remember that you took credit for bringing the idea of the ladder match to the WWE."_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Not the ladder match again…it wasn't my fault that Vince decided not to promote the thing.

_From behind me, I heard __Cena__ say to Mark, "I'd rather see them start hitting each other."_

**Sean: **Yes!

_"You think this is bad, they haven't even mentioned Survivor Series yet," Mark replied back._

**Hunter: **Give them time.

_That made me pause__ and think. I realized that Shawn and I had just rehashed our careers and problems…as we've d__one every chance we get_

**Shawn: '**We'?

**Hunter: **Shawn, you're just as bad.

_"You're never going to let me forget," Shawn said._

_I raised an eyebrow, questioning him, "Forgetting is dangerous, Shawn. Forgetting allows history to repeat itself."_

**Sean: **I'd like the physical fighting to repeat itself.

_"Let's hope not," said a disruptive voice. All of us in the room looked at Vince, who stood in the doorway. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) I say we get Vince.

**Bret: **I'm with you on that one.

_Vince entered and looked at Shawn. __"Shawn, I told you and Hunter to go to your dressing room."_

_"Yeah," Shawn said. He walked behind Vince and lowered his voice, but I still heard him say, "Thanks for the heads up."_

_Then Shawn walked out._

**Sean: **What? No blood or violence?

_Hunter looked at the rest of us in the room and said, "Bye." Then he followed Shawn._

**Sean: **Into the closet. (DX looks at him) See what happens when I'm deprived of violence?

_"Still letting Shawn __get__ to you, Bret?" Vince said, turning to me._

_"It's not only him," I said staring at Vince._

_Vince didn't react. "I expecte__d that. Y__our emotions, not to mention Shawn's, have always gotten the best of both of you," Vince said_

**Sean: **Congratulations Bret and Shawn, you're both human.

_and__ then Vince__ left, leaving myself, Mark and __Cena__ confused as to what just transpired._

**Hunter: **Nothing happened. No one went to the hospital.

_All Mark could say__ to me was__, "Well__ at least you and Shawn didn't kill each other."_

_"Yet," __Cena__ replied__, knowing that Raw had yet to begin._

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Message from Marie: I think this is a good point to pause and let you guys break and grab dinner._

**All: **Thanks!

_Marie: You're welcome. Expect that you'll have to read another chapter before bed._

**All: **Damn...

_Marie: (upset) What, should we just finish the rest of the story which has several more chapters to go?_

**All: **No!

**Bret: **One chapter, tonight, before bed.

_Marie: Good. _

The theater's lights come up.

**Bret: **Let's go guys, I'll start dinner.

End Of Chapter 6

Hope you liked this. I really hope to get more posted this weekend.


	8. Ch 7: After Dinner But Before Bed

Time and place: The Satellite, a few hours after our heroes have eaten dinner. On Earth, it is the morning of Tuesday, September 18, 2007.

Our heroes sit around in the den. They sit in uneasy silence doing nothing, except exchange looks at each other andmake small talk.

**Sean: **(bringing up what's on everyone's minds) So…when do you think we'll have to read again?

**Bret: **(shrugs)

**Shawn: **Are we really just going to sit here doing nothing till Vince signals us?

**Bret: **(shrugs)

**Hunter: **Oh great, Vince has broken our spirits.

Just then, the familiar sound of Vince's signal rang and Vince appeared on the tv screen.

**Vince: **Aren't you four a pathetic bunch.

**Shawn: **Aren't you going to gloat?

**Vince: **I should be, huh, but I think I'll be merciful.

**Hunter: **So you'll leave us alone for the rest of the night?

**Vince: **No, I'm just going to send the next chapter of the fan fic so you guys can get to it.

**Bret: **You don't really know what the meaning of mercy is, do you?

**Shawn: **To know the meaning of mercy, Vince would have to be human. I think we've already labeled Vince as The Devil.

**Vince: **Very funny. May your road to hell be paved by bad fan fic. (our heroes continue to look at him) Get going already.

Our heroes get up and head to the theater.

In the theater, they resume their seats from earlier – Sean, Bret, Shawn, Hunter – and wait for the fic to start.

_Chapter 7_

_RAW was_

**Sean: **Excitingly violent ending with a brawl between Bret and Shawn.

_surprisingly quiet. Shawn and I didn't even run into each other._

**Sean: **Hell, even the 50's version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers had more violence than this fan fic.

_After RAW, Mark and I went back to our hotel_

**Sean: **room. (Bret looks at him) You know I get even more perverse when I get bored.

_. I went back to my room hoping to spend time with Cinzia, but she was already asleep._

**Sean: **(to Bret) Say goodbye to your wife then.

_Alone, I got ready for bed. After that, I got into bed beside my wife and put an arm around her, but it would be hours before I would fall asleep._

**Hunter: **At the rate this fan fic is going, it will be only seconds before I fall asleep.

_I don't know when I finally got to sleep. I just know that I didn't sleep long because a loud knocking woke me up._

_Message From Marie: And remember if any of you fall asleep, you'll be awakened by an electric shock._

**Shawn: **I'm awake! (he and the others sit up straighter in their chairs)

_I got out of bed. Thankfully, Cinzia wasn't disturbed._

**Bret: **My wife is not that deep of a sleeper.

_I went to the door, opened it and found Mark outside in the hallway. _

_"Mark, what the hell…" _

_To which he replied, "_

**Shawn: **(as Mark) Bret, put on a robe. No one wants to see you in your boxers. (Bret looks at him) Well, the fan fic didn't say that you dressed before answering the door.

_Bret, you need to come with me."_

**Shawn: **But first put on a robe.

_"What is it, Mark?" I asked._

_"It's better if I show you."_

**Sean: **(continuing as Mark) And then you can show me yours.

**Shawn: **Bret already is if he's not wearing a robe.

**Bret: **(to Shawn) Quit it, already!

_Because Mark sounded upset, and unnerved, I followed Mark to his room, which was six doors down from mine. _

_Mark led me to his door, but before he opened it, he stopped me with, "Can I trust you?"_

**Shawn: **Hasn't Mark said that he already trusted Bret?

**Hunter: **We already established that this fan fic is repetitive.

_"What are you talking about," I asked._

_"I need to know that I can trust you," Mark replied._

_"Of course," I said, "Mark…what is it?"_

**Sean: **It better be good. I'm bored.

_Mark didn't answer. He opened his door, and pointed left into the living room. I went in first…and stopped in my tracks a few feet away from a coffee table._

**Hunter: **It horribly clashed with the rest of the room.

_There was a large object on the table. Long too, for part of it hung off the table's edge. It was covered by a white sheet._

**Bret: **That better not be a dead body under there.

_"Mark…" I said._

_He most likely heard the anxiety in my voice. He went to the table and proceeded to remove the sheet…revealing a body._

**Bret: **Damn.

**Shawn: **Looks like the Undertaker's been taking his character too seriously. He's laid out a guy.

**Hunter: **I can see why Mark questioned Bret about trust.

**Bret: **I think the better question is: can I trust Mark now?

_"Mark," I repeated. _

_"Now you see why I couldn't just tell you," Mark said._

_"Yeah…" My eyes kept looking from the body to Mark and back to the body_

_Mark saw my unease. "Wait," he said, "you don't think I did this?"_

**Sean: **Where's the trust?

_"No…" I stammered._

_"How could you even think that, Bret?"_

_"What do you want me to think," I said angrily, "when you wake me up in the middle of the night and don't tell me what's going on…before showing me…" I gestured to the body, "this."_

**Bret: **Then I head out of the room and call the police.

_"I'll try to explain," Mark said._

**Sean: **(as Mark) Tonight, I went to the hotel bar. I got drunk, met a man and took him up to my room to…you know…but the guy ended up not wanting to and I got angry and…well, you see.

**Hunter: **(to Sean) I want to know what you've been watching lately.

_I looked at him, waiting for an explanation. _

_Mark said, "I went to bed shortly after we got back. I woke up in the middle of the night as I often do to go to the bathroom. After that, I headed for the kitchen to get a drink…_

**Shawn: **He drinks something now? He'll only have to wake up to go to the bathroom again.

_and found 'him'…" he gestured to the body "there."_

_"Exactly there?" I asked. _

_"Yes."_

**Hunter: **(as Mark) Well not exactly there, his arms were hanging off the table's sides. I put them across his chest.

_"Did he move at all?" I said._

_"No," Mark said. "I even checked for life signs. He doesn't have any." Off of my disbelieving face, he added, "You can check for yourself."_

**Shawn: **Go ahead, Bret.

**Bret: **I'm not touching that thing!

_"No, I'll take your word on that," I said. There was no way I was going near that body, which was unsettling me each time I looked at it._

**Shawn: **Aww…Bret's scared of a dead body.

**Bret: **I'd like to see how you'd react.

_"Why didn't you just call the police?" I asked._

**Sean: **I think that's probably the stupidest question you could ask, Bret.

_"I didn't feel like trying to explain this. I doubt they would believe me," Mark said, "I know you don't."_

**All: **Ooh…

_"I didn't say that I didn't believe you," I said, "I just don't know what to do." _

**Sean: **(to Bret) You and Mark could take the body to the nearest graveyard and bury it.

**Bret: **Eww…

_As it turned out, I didn't have time to think about what to do as there came a knock on the door._

**Bret: **Tell me that's the police.

**Hunter: **Bret, you'd have to go to the police station too.

**Bret: **(considers that) Never mind.

_Mark looked to me…clearly worried about how this scene looked. He threw the sheet back over the body._

**Sean: **Yeah, cause that's going to help.

_Mark walked back to the front door – I was right behind him – and opened it. To our surprise, there stood a bare-chested, pajama bottom wearing, tousle-haired Shawn Michaels._

**Bret: **Gee Shawn, put on a shirt.

**Shawn: **Stop fixating on me so much. And what do you mean by tousle-haired?

**Bret: **Messy.

**Shawn: **Hey!

**Bret: **Even you, Shawn, do not look good when you first wake up.

_"Shawn," Mark said, "What are you doing here?"_

_"Well, let's see…" Shawn said irritated, "I was asleep, and then I heard you two bozos."_

**Hunter: **The hotel you're all sleeping in must have really thin walls.

_"What'd you hear?" Mark asked._

**Shawn: **(answering) I heard everything. I called the cops. They'll be here soon.

_"Loud voices," Shawn said, "I'm just here to tell you two to keep it down."_

**Shawn: **That line sounds so wrong.

_"No problem, Shawn, we're sorry," Mark said._

**Shawn: **Good…so now I get the hell out of this scene.

_I hoped that Shawn would go back to his room, but he didn't._

**Shawn: **Damn me.

_"So Bret, how long are you going to be around?" Shawn asked._

_"I don't know," I said. Then I narrowed my eyes, "Why?"_

_"I just wanted to know how long to expect my life to be in danger," the blonde replied._

_"What!" I shouted._

**Bret: **Why does everyone think I'm going to kill Shawn? Don't they get that he's not worth going to jail over?

**Shawn: **Much appreciated.

_"Shawn, go back to bed," Mark said._

_"No wait," I said, honestly forgetting that there were bigger problems than Shawn right now, _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) You forgot about a dead body? Obsessed much? (Bret glares)

_"Let's have this out." _

_In response to that, Shawn stepped into the room._

**Hunter: **(to the screen) Don't look to your left.

_"Fine," said Shawn, "let's go, old man. It's not like you'll do anything. You don't have the guts…"_

_Before I could think, I went with my feelings…_

**All: **Uh oh…

_And hit Shawn in the face._

**Sean: **It's about time!

**Shawn: **Kid! (to Bret) What did I do to deserve that? (Bret stares at him) Don't answer that.

**Bret: **I won't.

_Shawn went down_

**Shawn: **After one punch?

**Bret: **You're a wimp in this story. (Shawn narrows his eyes at him)

_"Bret!" Mark said actually admonishing me. Mark kneeled to help Shawn. "We don't have time for this."_

_Shawn sat up and snarled at me, "Bastard."_

**All: **Oh no…

_Shawn was quick. He lunged at me, taking me down heavily. I almost hit my head on the floor._

**Shawn: **Go me! (Bret looks at him) Sorry.

_I heard Mark close the door, probably to keep others from hearing us._

**Hunter: **Well, if the walls are thin, that's not going to help the person sleeping on the other side of Mark's room…not to mention whoever is sleeping in the room under Mark's is going to feel like he or she is in the middle of an earthquake.

_I kicked Shawn just hard enough in the chest to get him away from me._

**Sean: **Kicked him right in the heart.

**Bret: **What heart? (Shawn looks at him) Sorry.

**Hunter: **(concerned about Bret and Shawn) This could get ugly.

_I got to my knees. So did Shawn. We both clenched our fists meaning to hit the other._

**Shawn: **I get the punch in first. (off Bret's look) I'm quicker.

_But before either of us could hit the other, Mark's strong arms shoved us backward. _

**Bret & Shawn: **Oww…

_"Stop this!" said Mark. "Shawn…" Mark opened the door, "get out of here."_

_"Fine…" Shawn rolled onto his left side then got back to his knees. Facing me, he said, "But this isn't over. You won't always have The Undertaker to protect you, Bret."_

_By now I'd gotten to my knees, "Bring it on."_

**Sean: **I'll sell the tickets. (off Bret and Shawn's looks) What? Theticket salesfor your fight would provide me with a small fortune, and that's not even counting the merchandise sales that would go with it.

_"Another time," said Shawn. The blonde stood. "And Mark?"_

_"Yes, Shawn?" Mark said._

_"Your room has the ugliest coffee table I've ever seen," he replied back._

**Shawn: **Why would I care about the coffee table?

**Hunter: **We had to get back to it somehow.

_"Goodnight Shawn," Mark said._

_But Shawn wasn't paying attention. He was looking at the coffee table, "Is that hair I see?" _

**Hunter: **(as Mark) It's my Chia pet.

_Before Mark and I could react, Shawn had moved over to the table. _

_"Shawn…" Mark said._

_"I get it," Shawn said, "You two threw a party and someone's passed out."_

**Shawn: **Yeah, I'm a genius.

**Bret: **Well, you would think that Mark and I would have stopped you from going over there.

_Before he could be stopped, Shawn grabbed the white sheet. He said, "All right, rise and…" at that point, Shawn had raised the sheet and had seen what was underneath._

**Bret: **I'm suddenly seeing myself on the other side of prison bars.

**Shawn: **Felon orange is your new color.

**Hunter: **You're taking communal showers.

**Sean: **And you have a new friend named Bubba.

_Shawn dropped the sheet, "My God."_

_"Shawn…" Mark said and stepped towards the blonde._

_"Stay away from me," Shawn said, "Both of you. I don't know what you guys have done, but stay away from me."_

**Hunter: **(as Mark) Unfortunately, we can't do that.

**Shawn: **I'm a dead man.

_"It's not what it looks like," Mark said. _

_"It kind of looks like a dead man," said Shawn._

**Shawn: **And I'd rather not join him.

_"We're trying to figure everything out," Mark said._

_Shawn said, "Well, I can see that the two of you are confused."_

**Sean: **Do you mean sexually?

_He continued, "And I don't want to add to that confusion."_

_"We could really use you," Mark said._

**All: **Eww!

_"We can?" I said._

_"If another person is involved," Mark said, "then maybe we can start to make some sense out of this."_

**Shawn: **Why do I have to be the other person?

**Sean: **Because it would be keeping in your role thus far. (Shawn looks at him) Well, you are the other person in Hunter and Steph's marriage. (Shawn glares)

_"Yeah, but do we need __**him**__," I said snidely._

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Whether or not we needed him, Mark told Shawn what he'd told me about finding the body._

**Shawn: **Which wasn't a lot.

_After that, Mark removed the sheet entirely so that we could examine the body, which was naked_

**All: **Eww…

_On closer inspection, Shawn and I could see that the body wasn't quite normal._

_"It's slimy," Shawn said, "and hairy."_

_Shawn was right. Some kind of viscous substance covered the body and the torso had tiny white hairs on it,_

**Sean: **Well that's gross.

_"This thing almost doesn't look human," I said._

_"I noticed that too," Mark replied._

_"Whatever it is, it's a big guy," observed Shawn._

_I'd noticed that too._

**Shawn: **I'm starting to notice that we've started calling it it.

**Bret: **What would you like to call it?

**Shawn: **Fred.

_I also noticed things about the body that I wished I hadn't. Mark, whom I kept glancing at, was seeing that my unease was growing._

_"What are you thinking, Bret?" Mark finally asked._

**Bret: **That we should get out of the hotel room.

_"I'm thinking that this body almost looks incomplete," I said._

_"Incomplete?" Shawn questioned._

**Hunter: **It's lacking something in its life.

"Look at it," I said, "It doesn't have a mark on it.

**Sean: **I hope it doesn't have Mark on it. Eww.

_Not a freckle, a mole, a scar, or any such imperfection."_

**Sean: **It's as smooth as a baby still inside the placenta it was born in.

**All (but Sean): **(sickened) Kid!

_"No fingerprints either," Mark said, as he was looking at the body's hand._

_I looked at the hand. Sure enough, no pattern on the fingers._

_Shawn looked too, "He removed his prints?"_

**Hunter: **Like the killer in Seven?

**All: **Ow.

_I didn't see any signs of him doing so. "I don't think so," I said._

_"Well, he is dead, right?" Shawn asked._

_"Dead how though?" I asked, "There's no wound."_

_"Well I don't know," Shawn snapped, "Do I look like a doctor?_

**Hunter: **No. How many doctors have long hair?

**Bret: **If they're not women, you mean?

_Maybe he took poison."_

_"I think he'd be pale in that case," Mark said._

_"Yeah, the more I look at it," I said, "the less I think that it's a dead body. It's not even cold.'_

**Sean: **You could always take its temperature.

_I had a bad feeling and expressed it when I said, "About how tall do you think it would be standing up?"_

_"Tall," Shawn said._

**Bret: **That's helpful.

_"How tall would you say?" I asked._

_"I'll just pull out my tape measure," Shawn said sarcastically. I looked at him, not amused, "I don't know…6 foot 9 at least."_

_"Maybe 6 foot 10," I said._

_"Maybe," Shawn said._

_Mark raised an eyebrow, "What are you getting at, Bret?"_

**Sean: **I know.

**Hunter: **We know you know…hell even we know by now, but let's just get through the story.

_"And his weight?" I asked._

_"Just over 300 pounds," Shawn said, "He could be 500. Who cares?"_

**Sean: **It would only be 500 pounds if it was Andre the Giant or Yokozuna, and frankly, no one wanted to see them naked.

**Hunter: **Yeah, like seeing The Undertaker naked is going to help me sleep any better tonight.

_"I care, Shawn," I said, angrily._

_Before Shawn and I could start arguing, Mark said, "Okay, so what do we do now?"_

_"This might be a dumb question," Shawn said,_

**Bret: **Coming from you, it probably is. (off of Shawn's look) I'm just saying what my character would probably say.

**Shawn: **Uh huh.

_"Shouldn't we just call the police?"_

_"And have to explain something that we can't," I said._

_"We'll just say that Mark found him," Shawn said._

_"Shawn, have you even seen a way that this guy could get in here?" I asked._

_"No, but I haven't been looking," Shawn said_

**Shawn: **I think that's a good point.

**Bret: **Everyone's entitled to one. (Shawn glares)

**Hunter: **(concern is growing) I hope this chapter ends soon.

_"What about the screen door?"_

_"I locked it before going to bed," Mark said, "and I never saw signs of a break in."_

_"I think we should wait," I said, "and keep an eye on this thing."_

_"And do what?" Shawn said, "Have a sleepover and sing Kumbaya"_

**All: **(singing) Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya/Eye the dead man lord, kumbaya/Oh lord, kumbayah

**Hunter: **Now that we have the group sing-along out of our system…let's continue.

_I ignored Shawn's drama, "Take turns sleeping and watching the body…And if nothing changes, we'll call the police. Okay?"_

_Shawn glared back at me, clearly not liking this plan._

**Sean: **Because it deprives Shawn of his beauty sleep. And at his age, he needs it. (Shawn looks over to him)

_"Okay," Mark agreed, "Shawn?"_

_"Fine," said Shawn, as he crossed his arms._

**Bret: **Baby.

**Shawn: **Hey!

**Bret: **I mean the fan fic you…(pauses) although you often cross your arms in real life whenever you don't get your way.

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**Hunter: **Does that mean there's more to this chapter?

_After the plan had been made_

**Sean: **(responding to Hunter's question) Guess so.

_Mark said that he would take the first watch. _

_Shawn happily allowed Mark to do so, even going so far to say that it was originally Mark's problem, so it was only fair._

**Bret: **(to Shawn) How nice of you.

_I agreed only after Mark insisted, and let Mark know that I would take over the watch in two hours. I even set the alarm on my wristwatch._

**Sean: **Unfortunately, Bret sets his watch for 3pm instead of 3am and by the time he wakes up, The Undertaker is very much into character…(looks at the others) Get it, cause The Undertaker shows no emotions…

**All (but Sean): **We got it!

_Then Mark said that Shawn or I could take his bed, but I said that we would sleep in the living room on the floor…to be here in case anything happened._

_Shawn didn't like that,_

**Shawn: **I have a bad back. I can't sleep on the floor.

_but I wouldn't have it any other way. Shawn insisted though on bringing out the sheets, comforter and pillows from the bedroom. _

**Bret: **(to Shawn) You'd better make the bed in the morning.

_Mark said that was a good idea…and it was till Shawn wanted to hog them all._

**Bret: **Typical.

**Shawn: **Hey!

_After almost threatening violence, Shawn relinquished to me a white bed sheet and one of the smaller pillows, keeping the comforter and larger pillows for himself._

**Shawn: **I am not that selfish.

**Bret: **(looking passed Shawn and as Hunter) You want to tell him since he's your friend.

_By then I was too tired to keep trying to get more out of Shawn_

**Sean: **(grimacing) Eww…

**Bret: **Get your mind out of the gutter, Kid.

_and took my sheet and pillow to the left most corner of the room. _

_"That's where I wanted to sleep," Shawn whined._

**Shawn: **I don't whine. That's Bret.

**Bret: **I don't wine…

**Hunter: **Don't make me get out a tape recorder of moments in whichboth of you haven't gotten what you wanted.

_"Too late," I answered back, "you snooze, you lose." _

**Sean: **Considering this fan fic, that line fits.

_I laid down on the floor with the pillow propped up under my head. I closed my eyes, but opened them again when I felt someone standing over me_

**Bret: **I'm not lucky enough for it to be The Boogeyman, could I?

**Hunter: **You want to see an over 6 foot tall guy painted red, standing over you eating worms? (Bret looks at Hunter not quite sure what HHH is talking about)

_Sure enough, Shawn was there, looking at me…and he had an almost hang-dog expression on his face_

**Hunter: **You're right, I'd rather see The Boogeyman too.

**Shawn: **(to Hunter) Keep that up, and we'll have problems again.

_"What?" I asked._

_"Please, Bret, I'd feel more comfortable in this spot," Shawn said. As if he needed to explain, he said, "Laying anywhere else will hurt my back."_

**Sean: **The fan fic captured your character, Shawn. (Shawn looks at him)

_"Tough," I said and closed my eyes. Sensing that he was still standing over me, I turned over so that I faced the corner. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) You are so stubborn.

_I got almost comfortable when a soft object fell on me…right above the elbow of my arm. A larger object laid on the soft one and that's when I knew that Shawn was laying his head on top of me. _

**Bret: **(to Shawn) And you're persistent.

_And I was not going to allow that._

_"Get off!" I shouted, rolling back and knocking Shawn off in the process._

**Sean: **A fight before bedtime. Yes!

_"Don't blame me," Shawn replied, "You're in the spot I want."_

**Bret: **So you lay on top?

**Shawn: **If it gets you to move, I'll do anything.

**Hunter: **Anything?

**Sean: **Be careful Shawn, that's how the fan fic Bret got into the situation he's in.

_"Go find another," I said._

_Mark, who'd been watching us, said, "You know Bret that you have to relieve me in an hour and forty minutes?"_

_I'd already wasted twenty minutes dealing with Shawn. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) You would have had two hours had you given me what I wanted.

_And I hadn't exactly gotten a lot of sleep earlier. Knowing this, I got out of the corner and stood up. I looked down at Shawn, who was already taking my place. Spitefully, I said, "Happy?" _

_Shawn didn't reply. He mocked me with snuggling up to his pillow, pulling the comforter around himself and closing his eyes._

**Bret: **(to Shawn) I see that your immaturity level has reached an all time low in this fan fic.

_I could have killed him had Mark not been in the room. However, I stomped over to sleep in the other corner instead. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Yeah, and your behavior just screams adult.

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**Hunter: **(aggravated) It's the never ending chapter.

**All (but Hunter): **(hum the following to the tune of the song from The Never Ending Story) Woo-owo-oho-wo-oho-wo

**Hunter: **Not funny, guys.

_I guess I fell asleep at some point, but not as long as I would have liked. _

_I checked my watch and technically I still had eighteen minutes before I had to relieve Mark. _

**Bret: **I hate waking up before my alarm.

_So I closed my eyes again…._

_And then opened them…_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) I could help you out with your problem.

**Bret: **Shawn!

**Hunter: **(to Shawn) Is there something you need to tell me, pal?

**Shawn: **(realizing what Bret and Hunter are thinking) You guys really thought…

**Bret & Hunter: **Yes…

**Sean: **(Shawn is looking at him as if to blame him) I am not responsible for their sick minds.

_Something wasn't right in the room. I could sense that. I sat up and that's when my ears caught two sounds. It's hard to describe what I heard exactly, but I'll try. It was like a low moan…combined with a sickening popping sound – as if a toad were croaking along with the sound of dry leaves being stepped on._

**Sean: **Sounds like Shawn decided to help Mark first.

**All (but Sean): **Eww…

**Sean: **I blame the fan fic.

**Hunter: **That's not going to work in this chapter, Kid.

_I looked to the other corner where Shawn slept, almost hoping it was him. But it wasn't._

**Shawn: **See, I'm innocent.

**Bret: **(to Shawn) Right…and how were you intending to help me earlier?

**Shawn: **By knocking you out.

_I got up to see if Mark was hearing it. I came over slowly…and to my horror saw Mark slumped over on the couch. Covering him was a bunch of slimy looking tentacles – tentacles that on closer inspection were emanating from the body on the table. _

**Hunter: **The body on the table is getting busy with The Undertaker. (the others look at him) We so need this chapter to end.

_Disgusted, and unsure of what to do, I looked at the body. And that's when I saw what earlier I kept telling myself that I wasn't seeing. On the coffee table, I saw Mark's face. _

**Shawn: **Just the face? What happened to the body?

_And yet, it wasn't quite Mark. It was too clean and unmarked still…although by now, I did see a freckle or two on the body. _

**Sean: **Connect the dots, anyone?

_And the hair on the head of the body was the same brown-red shade as Mark's – and it was longer than before. All my fears from earlier were supported. That body on the table wasn't dead…it was…_

_"Mark!"_

**Sean: **Yep.

_I went to Mark's side and screamed his name again. This time, Mark moved, but only a little. I began shaking him and continued to cry out his name as loud as I could_

**Hunter: **The Deadman is dead.

_Behind me, I heard Shawn move and sit up with a, "Wha…" sound._

_Needing someone to see this besides me, I called out, "Shawn, help me."_

**Bret: **I'm asking Shawn for help?

**Shawn: **(to Bret) You must really bedesperate.

_When discussing this moment with Shawn, Shawn said that he hadn't heard my words so much as heard the desperation in my voice._

_Once on his feet, Shawn came to my side…_

**Hunter & Sean:** Awww...(Bret and Shawn glare at them)

_His words verified that I wasn't going crazy…"Holy shit!"_

**Hunter: **In this fan fic, you must not have found God, Shawn.

_"Come on," I said, "we need to wake him up." I shook Mark harder and Shawn started shouting Mark's name…Then Shawn pounded Mark's chest._

**Shawn: **I'm dead if he wakes up and he's himself.

_It was Shawn that saved Mark that night. After Shawn hit Mark, _

**Shawn: **I saved Mark, but I doomed myself.

_The Undertaker rose from whatever had had a hold from him. Mark's eyes opened, and he let out a gasp, as his hands reached for the tentacles and tore the slimy things away from his body. _

_As Mark tore the tentacles, the body on the table let out a huge groan…and shriveled up so that it was all wrinkled._

**Hunter: **So now The Undertaker has a glimpse of what he'll look like when he's 90 years old.

_I looked away from it when I heard Mark gasp again. _

_Turning to Mark, I said, "My God…"_

_"What…" Mark said out of breath, "What the hell happened?"_

**Sean: **You were nearly taken over.

**Hunter: **You know, I hate it when people spoil the movie.

_"I don't know…" I said._

_What could I say? I barely believed what I'd seen._

_At that moment, everything seemed surreal...and continued so…even when beside me, Shawn said into his cell phone – that I hadn't seen him take out, "Hunter… It's Shawn. Come quick. Something's happened."_

**Hunter: **And I think Shawn's drunk, so I respond by hanging up and going back to bed.

**Shawn: **(to Hunter) Thanks, pal.

**Hunter: **I don't want to be in the fic again.

_Message From Marie: Well you will be Hunter, but for now, that's the end of chapter 7._

**Hunter: **It's about time.

_Marie: Time for bed guys._

**Sean: **You expect us to sleep after that chapter?

**Bret: **Kid, you're not scared…are you?

_Marie: It's not like you didn't know what was coming._

**Sean: **I had an idea…but…it was still kind of creepy.

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Guess you're going to have a roomie tonight.

**Bret: **Me…why me?

**Hunter: **Kid, you're going to be fine. Everything will look good come morning.

**Sean: **That's if we're us by morning.

On that cheery note, our heroes left their seats and exited the theater.

End of Chapter 7

More to come soon. Thanks for reading.


	9. Ch 8: A Rocky Morning

**Author's Note: **

**I am finally continuing my 'Mystery Wrestling Theater' series. I promise I will finish this story. **

**While you've probably reread the preceding chapters, here is recap: **

**In the fan fic, 'Invasion Of The WWE', Bret, with his wife Cinzia, arrived in Pittsburgh to help The Undertaker (Mark Calaway) who felt that his family and some of his fellow wrestlers were different somehow. Bret - after coming face-to-face with Vince, Shawn and Hunter - finally believed that something odd was going on when he found a hairy, slimy body on The Undertaker's coffee table. **

**Before Bret and Mark could figure out what to do about the body, Shawn came to Mark's room and also saw the body. Bret and Shawn agreed to stay in The Undertaker's room to watch the body (with Mark taking the first watch while Bret and Shawn slept). When Bret woke up just before his watch was to begin, he knew that something wasn't right. He went to Mark, who had fallen asleep...and was covered in tentacles. Bret, horrified, also saw that the body on the coffee table looked even more like Mark than it did earlier. With Shawn's help, Bret got Mark up and all three exited Mark's room. Shawn had called Hunter, his lover, to come to Mark's room...**

**And now...**

* * *

Time and Place: Early morning of the day after our heroes read about Mark being almost taken over...in the Satellite's kitchen. On Earth, it is Wednesday, September 19, 2007.

Bret sat at the kitchen table enjoying a quiet cup of coffee. He'd been out of his room for about a half hour, and so far, no one else had awoken and come out of his room.

Just as Bret nearly finished his first cup of coffee of the day, Sean Waltman walked into the kitchen. The Kid's hair was sticking out in several places and he didn't look too hot.

**Bret: **(looking at Sean as the Kid stood in the kitchen doorway) Good morning.

**Sean: **(does not reply, but makes his way to the kitchen table and sits on Bret's right, then - Sean leans his body over so that his arms and head are down on the table)

**Bret:** I take it that it's not a good morning.

**Sean: **(still with his head down so that his words come out mumbled) I couldn't sleep.

**Bret: **Let me guess, you had visions of pod people dancing in your head.

**Sean: **Uh huh.

**Bret:** Kid, it was only a fan fic. And you watch worse things in movies.

**Sean: **(raises his head up to look at Bret, his arms are still on the table) But none of the things in movies happen to people I know. (pause) Aren't you ever completely freaked by the fan fic we read?

**Bret: **Maybe while we read them, but the fan fic does eventually end and life goes on...such as it is...it's like a bad dream - you cry, you scream...you move on.

**Sean: **(sits all the way up) Yeah...(wondering) for you, what would be the most horrible fan fic to read?

**Bret: **(thinks) Well...(looking around to make sure that what he's about to say doesn't get taped and used against him at a later time) the most horrible would be a crossover with 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'.

**Sean: **I would never have guessed that you'd even seen it.

**Bret: **I did...(off of Sean's questioning look) I was curious what all the talk was about...and I liked Meatloaf...and now let's just say the worst fan fic ever would involve myself and Shawn - playing Brad and Janet's characters respectively - coming to Frank-N-Furter's castle and Frank-N-Furter is played by Vince.

**Sean: **I just had a terrible vision of Hunter in a man's gold bikini bottom.

**Bret: **(hadn't even thought of that) You just had to share your vision, didn't you?

**Sean:** On the plus side, it almost cleared away my visions of pod people coming after me.

**Bret: **(a little sarcastically) Good for you.

**Shawn:** (coming into the kitchen) What's good for the Kid?

**Sean: **Nothing...morning, Shawn.

**Shawn: **(coming to sit at the table on Sean's right, across from Bret) Morning...(noticing the almost completely clear table) What...no breakfast?

**Bret: **Sorry, the Kid and I got talking.

**Shawn: **(having only heard part of Bret and Sean's discussion and not the full part of about the 'Rocky Horror' crossover) About Hunter in a gold bikini bottom?

**Sean:** (holding back choking laugh) Well, we didn't get a chance to discuss you being a slut walking aroung in nothing but a slip.

**Shawn: **(looking at Sean, then to Bret) What the hell is he talking about?

**Bret: **(running a hand through his hair) If you know what's good for you, you won't ask again. (to Sean, who's now smiling widely) Four words for you, Kid...(talks slowly) You...as Vince's. 'Handyman'.

**Sean:** (knowing what Bret means, he immediately stops smiling and shudders) I would think that would be Shane's role. And Stephanie would be his sister.

**Hunter: **(coming in just as Sean said, 'that would be Shane's role...he speaks his next line and all other lines very matter of factly) Stephanie is Shane's sister.

**Shawn:** I don't understand what they're talking about either...but good morning, Hunter.

**Hunter:** Good morning. (comes to the table, sits down on Bret's left and Shawn's right) How did everyone sleep last night?

**Bret:** Fine.

**Shawn: **Like a rock.

**Sean:** I slept like I had a rock for a pillow.

**Shawn: **That explains the bad hair day you're having.

**Hunter:** (to Sean) You should try harder to sleep. (to Shawn and Bret) More rest wouldn't hurt you two either.

**Sean:** I think I'd rather do some more work on Serpentina and Snakeoid. I want to learn more about their reflexes and responses to different stimuli.

**Bret: **(obviously doesn't share Sean's interest in machines) At least you're keeping your mind busy.

**Shawn:** (to Sean) One thing, though...

**Sean: **Yes?

**Shawn: **Don't make yourself look too good...(off of Sean's perplexed look) Wouldn't want Serpentina to respond to you again.

**Sean: **(remembering when he first met Serpentina) Right. Anyone else have plans for today?

**Shawn: **(to Bret) You're probably just going to read a book, aren't you?

**Bret: **Am I that predictable?

**Shawn: **Do you really want me to answer that? (not giving Bret a chance to reply) What about you, Hunter?

**Hunter: **I'll be around.

**Shawn: **(raises an eyebrow, a bit confused) Of course, you'll be around. Where else are you going to go?

**Sean: **What about you, Shawn, what are you up to today?

**Shawn: **I don't know...(looking to Bret) I'm still waiting on breakfast.

**Bret: **There's cereal in the cabinet.

**Shawn: **I don't want cereal.

**Bret: **Then get whatever you want. We have bread, fruit, pancake mix...

**Shawn:** What about crepes?

**Bret: **Knock yourself out.

**Shawn: **I want you to make them. You've been making our meals ever since we came here.

**Bret: **And maybe I'm tired of it. (smiles) Maybe I'm not as predictable as you thought.

**Shawn: **(breathes out slowly through his nose) Fine...(breakfast wasn't really something he wanted to fight with Bret over) I've seen my mother make crepes. How hard can it be? (looking to Hunter) How many do you want, pal?

**Hunter: **I'm not hungry.

**Shawn: **(looks to Sean) Kid?

**Sean: **I'm good with cereal.

**Shawn: **(looks to Bret) Bret?

**Bret: **I think what the others are trying to tell you, Shawn, is that they would rather starve or eat anything else to avoid your cooking.

**Shawn: **(looking to Hunter and Sean with disappointment) Thanks a lot, you guys.

**Bret:** Look, Shawn, I'll make the crepes tomorrow. I promise.

**Shawn: **Cross your heart?

**Bret: **(in the 'cross my heart' gesture) Cross my heart.

**Shawn: **(looks to the cabinet) Cereal it is then. (looks to the others) Unless you guys think I'll screw that up as well?

**Sean: **You do know how to pour milk, right?

**Shawn: **Yeah...

**Sean: **Into a bowl?

**Shawn: **How about I pour it on your head?

**Sean: **You're the one who has to eat it afterwards.

**Shawn: **(turns to the cereal cabinet and opens it, takes out a box of Honey Nut Cheerios)

**Bret: **Hey, Shawn, while you're there, want to grab the Raisin Bran?

**Sean: **And the Lucky Charms?

**Bret: **(like a disapproving parent) Lucky Charms?

**Sean:** (sheepishly) Well...they are magically delicious.

**Shawn: **(sets three boxes of cereal on the table, then three bowls, then the milk and then sits down)

**Sean:** Shawn?

**Shawn: **(takes a bowl, grabs the Honey Nut Cheerios and starts to pour them into his bowl) What?

**Sean:** You forgot the spoons.

**Shawn: **(looks at Sean like he could kill him)

**Bret: **(upon seeing the murder in Shawn's eyes) I'll get them. (goes and grabs spoons as Shawn pours his milk and Sean pours out his cereal)

**Hunter: **(stays silent as he observes what the other three are doing)

As Bret pours his cereal, and Sean pours his milk and Shawn takes his first bite...the alarm signalling for our heroes to enter the theater goes off. Because of the alarm, the misters have to talk loudly.

**Shawn:** (annoyed, he has a mouthful of food, he sputs and spits out a little milk) Damn it!

**Sean: **(a bit whiny) My cereal!

**Hunter: **I wonder where Vince is?

**Bret: **I guess it's better that the alarm is going off now and not when we were asleep.

**Sean: **(almost throwing a mini tantrum) But. My. Cereal!

**Bret: **Take it with you.

**Sean: **(cheers up, tantrum over) Oh, yeah! (gets up and grabs his bowl...and on second thought - grabs the Lucky Charms, but with two items in his hands; he's a bit clumsy and spills some milk)

**Bret: **(goes over to the cabinet to the right of the one under the sink and pulls out three trays, brings the trays to the table) Here...(hands a tray to Shawn and the Kid)

**Shawn:** (taking the tray) Afraid we'll make a mess?

**Bret: **I'm afraid the Kid will make a mess. You and I are taking trays in order to set a good example.

**Sean:** (offended) Hey...(about to make a comeback)

**Hunter: **(interrupting Sean) I think we should be getting into the theater now.

End of Chapter 8

* * *

**Author's Note: I hope you like chapter. It was fun for me to write it. The next chapter continues the bad fan fic 'Invasion Of The WWE'. As always, thanks for reading and reviews are welcomed.**


	10. Ch 9:  Turned

Our heroes enter the theater. Hunter leads the way carrying a carton of milk. Shawn, Bret, and Sean follow behind slowly because they are carrying their trays.

**Hunter: **(enters their usual row and goes to the very end, near the wall and sits)

**Shawn: **(goes and means to sit on Hunter's left, but he can't lower his seat without dropping his food) A little help, pal.

**Hunter: **(lowers the seat for Shawn, but says nothing)

**Shawn:** (sits down and Hunter takes away his hand) Thanks. (his tray nicely balances on the arm rests)

**Bret: **(is able to get his seat down with one hand while holding his tray in another - though it helps that he hasn't poured his milk yet - once settled; he lowers Sean's seat)

**Sean: **(sits down, to Bret) Thanks. (Bret moves his arm away and Sean grabs his spoon to dig into his cereal...of course, his milk has now turned rainbow colors because of the marshmellows, he says happily -) Ooh...colors!

**Bret: **(shakes his head at Sean's childishness while asking for milk) Can you pass the milk, Hunter?

**Hunter: **(passes the milk to Shawn)

**Shawn: **(takes the milk) Here...(passes the milk to Bret)

**Bret: **(pours the milk on his Raisin Bran and then sets the carton on his tray)

**Shawn: **(after watching Sean relishing his cereal and after taking a few bites of his own, he stops - he lets the amount of food on his spoon fall back into the bowl, he is dismayed)

**Hunter: **(looks to Shawn, still speaks all his lines matter of factly) Something wrong.

**Shawn: **I'm not much for soggy cereal. (grabs his tray and stands)

**Bret: **What are you doing?

**Shawn: **Just this...(leans over the seat directly in front of him and places his tray on that chair's armrests, grabs the Honey Nut Cheerios box and sits back down...digs into the box with his hand and eats the dry cereal he takes out of it)

**Bret:** (who watched Shawn the whole time, shakes his head at Shawn) You're picking that up when we leave.

**Shawn:** (smartly) Yes, Mom.

Before Bret can reply, a message from Marie comes up on the screen.

_Marie: __Shawn will pick up his tray before he leaves if he knows what's good for him!_

**Shawn: **(gulps, nervously) Yes, mam.

_Marie: You took your sweet time getting in here after the alarm first sounded._

**Sean: **We needed breakfast.

_Marie: And are we finally settled?_

**Bret:** Yes.

**Shawn: **Are you?

_Marie: What?_

**Shawn: **Are you settled? You asked if 'we' were finally settled. 'We' would include you too. If not, you would have said, 'And are you finally settled?' So...are 'you' settled?

_Marie: If you could see my head right now, it would be shaking in amazement_.

**Shawn:** (takes this as a compliment, he amazed Marie) Thank you.

_Marie: (snappily) That wasn't a compliment._

**Shawn: **Oh.

_Marie: Now that 'you' are...settled, let's continue with Laura's fan fiction...'Invasion Of The WWE'..._

_Chapter 8_

_After Shawn called Hunter, we got the fuck out of Mark's room...and waited._

**Shawn: **That's smart of us. (after a moment) Of course, if we were really smart, we'd get out of the hotel completely.

_About 10 minutes after Shawn called him, Hunter came down from the floor above us. He wasn't alone. He was with Vince._

**Sean: **That can't be good, right?

_Shawn just told me that when he'd seen Hunter coming towards us, that he'd wanted to rush into Hunter's arms. Shawn hadn't cared if Mark and I knew about him and Hunter._

_But when Shawn saw Vince, he stopped dead in his tracks. __Maybe if Shawn had went to Hunter, the next events that happened would have been quite different._

**Sean: **I think we know what that means for Hunter.

**Bret:** He took that long sleep.

**Sean: **And now he's a vegetable.

**Shawn: **On the bright side, it will be easy for my character to break up with him. (looks to Hunter, jokingly) I knew you'd never leave your wife.

**Hunter: **(straight faced) It's only a fan fic, Shawn.

**Shawn: **(raises an eyebrow at Hunter's lack of a proper comeback)

_Shawn asked Hunter, "What's Vince doing here?"_

_"You sounded like you needed a lot of help," Hunter replied, "So I brought him."_

**Sean: **Proving that you and Vince are two peas in a pod.

**Bret & Shawn: **(groan)

**Sean: **You knew someone had to say it at some point.

_Vince eyed myself and Shawn. "Bret and Shawn look like they're in one piece."_

_I looked at Shawn. Aside from the bruise on Shawn's left cheek, courtesy of me; he was fine._

**Sean: **Oh, the author's referring back to that one, brief spurt of violence.

**Shawn: **When Bret hit me...I hope I get to return the gesture.

_"So, what's going on?" asked Vince._

_I exchanged looks with Shawn and Mark. _

_Mark was the one that answered. "Earlier tonight, I found a body in my room."_

_Vince said, "A body? What sort of body?"_

_"What do you mean; what sort of body?_

**Sean:** (as Vince) A body of water?

_A human body," Mark exclaimed. "Anyway, I called Bret. Shawn overheard us from his room and came over. We agreed that the body wasn't exactly normal and we agreed to watch it."_

_"You didn't just call the police?" Hunter asked, like we hadn't thought of that before._

**Shawn: **This fic's redundancy is just killing me.

**Hunter:** It's strange - considering that Shawn, in the story, overheard Bret and Mark from inside his room - that no one in any of the other rooms has called the police. You guys are only out in the hallway.

_Mark answered, "Like I said the body wasn't normal. And just a few minutes ago..." _

_How could Mark describe what had just happened to him?_

**Sean: **(as The Undertaker) I got raped.

_"The body attacked me..." Mark stated._

**Sean:** I think 'rape' is the better word for what happened.

_"With tentacles."_

_Vince repeated, "Tentacles?"_

_"Like an octopus?" said Hunter._

**Bret: **(to the others) I don't remember the fic saying that there were only eight tentacles with suckers on them, do any of you?

**Shawn & Sean: **(shake their heads no)

_"No," Shawn protested, "They were more hair like...and slimy. They were all over Mark..." Shawn started to look sick just talking about it. "They were even in his ears, nose...and mouth."_

**Sean: **(as Shawn)And one was even in his anus.

**Bret & Shawn: **(yelling) Kid!

**Sean: **(surprised at being yelled at) What? It went with my rape comment from earlier. Excuse me for continuity.

_"Is the body still in there?" asked Vince, looking to Mark's room._

_"On the coffee table..." Mark said, "Where we left it."_

**Shawn: **What were we supposed to do with it?

_Vince put out his hand to Mark, "Hand me your keycard."_

_"You're going in there?" Mark asked._

_"Yes," Vince said, still with his hand out. "Your key card." _

_As I saw Mark hand his keycard over to Vince, I said, "What if the body attacks you?"_

**Bret: **Why would my character care if Vince were attacked?

_Looking back, even without knowing what I know now, I don't know why I was worried about Vince...but I was._

**Bret: **I take it that I'm never getting an explanation as to why I would care about Vince.

**Shawn: **(wanting Bret to move past this) You're a decent human being, let's leave it at that.

_"I'm not afraid," Vince said, moving Mark's door._

_"I'll go in with you," Hunter said to Vince. Hunter then moved towards Vince._

_Shawn stepped to Hunter and said insistently, "Hunter, don't go."_

_"I'll be okay, Shawn," stated Hunter with, what I know now, _

**Sean: **(as Bret) That I didn't know then.

_was fake reassurance._

**Shawn: **(turning his head to Hunter) Hunter, are you all right?

**Hunter: **Fine. Why?

**Shawn: **You're awfully quiet. Bret, myself and the Kid are doing all the misting.

**Hunter: **And we're taking forever to get through this fic.

**Shawn: **(eyes his friend, troubled)

_Then, Vince and Hunter went into Mark's room leaving myself, Shawn and Mark in the hall. _

_Vince and Hunter were in the room for about seven minutes..._

**Sean: **Could have been closer to ten. (as Bret gives him a look) I'm sure you weren't wearing a watch.

_and then we heard...a scream._

**Sean: **If that line was supposed to make me feel anything, I don't.

**Bret: **I think screams are one of those things you need to hear in order to feel.

_"That was Hunter!" Shawn exclaimed._

_Mark went to his room door and...couldn't get in. His door was locked and Vince had his card. _

**Hunter: **I will say that the author remembered her earlier plot points.

_Mark started to bang on the door, "Vince! Hunter! Open the door!" He stopped banging suddenly and leaned his head against the door. Then, Mark looked at us and said softly, "Do you guys hear something?"_

_Shawn and I leaned against the door. I heard what sounded like a punch and things crashing._

**Sean: **(frustratedly) Figures. There's major violence going on and it's being done behind a closed door.

_Mark started banging on the door again, "Someone open the door!"_

_Just when I thought that Mark might have to go get another key card, which when used would reveal Vince and Hunter's dead or unconsious bodies...Mark's door opened._

_At the door, stood Vince, but he looked messed up compared to how he looked before. His hair wasn't smooth and he had a hand on his lower back._

**Shawn: **(as Vince in a pained voice) Oh, my lateral collateral area.

**Bret: **Stole that from Gorilla Monsoon, didn't you?

_"What happened?" I asked._

_Before Vince could reply, Shawn pushed the door open wider...and cried out, "Hunter!"_

_Hunter was on the floor, with a handkerchief to his nose. I also saw, now not too far from him, the coffee table. It had been overturned._

**Sean:** (confused) The coffee table hit Hunter in the nose?

**Bret: **Considering how big Hunter's nose is, how could the coffee table miss it?

**Shawn: **(to Hunter when his friend doesn't react) Aren't you going to get angry at that?

**Hunter: **No.

**Shawn: **(looks to Bret and Sean who look back at Shawn, something isn't right)

_Shawn rushed into the room and knelt down to Hunter._

_Shawn told me that when he got to Hunter, that he could see blood on the handkerchief._

**Sean: **So the pod people bleed red in this fic.

**Shawn: **Why does that interest you?

**Sean:** Because there were three 'Invasion' movies made...well, four actually, but I haven't seen the last one yet...anyway, the first movie was black and white, so you couldn't tell what color the blood was. In the second movie the blood was red, but in the third, the blood was greenish.

**Hunter: **I guess that when the pods copy a person, that they copy all parts of that person completely...including blood.

_"Are you all right?" Shawn asked Hunter._

_"Your body bloodied my nose," Hunter said._

_"It woke up?" questioned Mark, who now, as I had, had moved into the room. Vince came and stood by me._

_"That's right," Vince nodded. "While Hunter and I examined the body, it woke up and in a rage, it pushed me."_

**Shawn: **(as Vince) In the same way that Bret pushed me after his loss to Psycho Sid just before Wrestlemania 13.

**Bret: **Why'd you bring that up?

**Shawn: **It was the first thing that popped into my head when Vince said he got pushed.

_"I went to hit it," Hunter said, "but it blocked me and punched me in the nose, knocking me down too."_

_"Then, it threw the coffee table at us," Vince stated._

**Sean: **Like the table, the author is leaving no detail unturned.

_"Where is it?" I insisted._

_"It went out the window," Hunter said, pointing._

**Bret: **There's a detail that was unturned before.

**Shawn: **What do you mean?

**Bret: **There's a window.

**Shawn: **Yeah...most hotel rooms have them.

**Bret: **Yes, but in an earlier chapter, didn't it say that Mark's room had a screen door?

**Shawn: **It also has a living area with a couch. Excluding suites, how many regular hotel rooms do you know have living areas?

**Sean: **Maybe Laura confused writing about Mark's hotel room with writing about his home?

_I, Mark and Shawn looked to the window across from the couch that Hunter pointed to. The window was open. I went to it._

_"The body went out the window," I said, "and what? Jumped five stories to it's death?" I leaned my head outside to better look out the window. It was dark, but I could just see the street below. There wasn't a body on it._

**Sean: **(to Bret) I think you would have rather seen a (enunciates his next words) Twisted. Broken. Bloodied. Body. (speaks normally again) Splattered against the pavement than nothing.

**Bret: **(eyeing Sean, thinking how morbid the Kid can be sometimes, he says sarcastically -) Oh yeah, that's exactly what I would have rather seen.

_"Do you see it?" Mark asked as I was out of the window._

_"No." I said. I took a moment to check for any way that the body could make it to the street safely. There wasn't. "There's nothing out there."_

_"It's gone," Vince replied._

_I grew angry suddenly. None of tonight was making any sense. _

**Shawn:** (to Bret) At least your character has enough sense to know it's not making any sense.

_I spoke directly to Vince, "Gone how? It jumped out of the hotel, fell five stories to the street...and got up and walked away?"_

**Sean: **Superman could have done it.

**Hunter: **(extremely matter of factly) Superman would have flown.

_"Stranger things have happened," said Vince, ignoring my anger. "The body could have been high on adrenaline. As you know, adrenaline does amazing things for a person. Allows one to survive situations, that without adrenaline, one could not."_

**Bret: **Yes, but the person would still be injured.

_I wasn't buying it, "I might agree with you if the body only had twenty feet to fall, but we're about fifty feet up."_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) How would you know that?

**Bret: **One story is approximately ten feet high. We're five stories up. 5 stories times 10 feet equals 50 feet.

**Shawn: **Oh.

_"The body could have also been on drugs," Vince said, "the point is you don't know much about the body."_

_"I know that it seemed lifeless," I replied, "that it was covered in white hairs. That it had no finger prints or individual markings...and that it was starting to look like Mark."_

_"What do you mean?" Vince said._

**Shawn: **If we're about to retread everything from the previous chapter, I really am going to fall asleep.

**Hunter: **That wouldn't be such a bad thing.

**Shawn: **(looks to Hunter, suddenly uncomfortable, sits up straighter)

_"The body was approximately the same height and weight as Mark," I answered. "and when it was attacking Mark, the body had Mark's face."_

_Vince seemed to think for a moment. Then, he said, "All right. Let's consider what you just said. 'It seemed lifeless' - a drug could explain that. 'Covered in white hairs' - side affect of some drug or some natural physical condition or he fell in something before getting here..."_

**Sean: **Fell in what? A tub of white cat hair?

_I interrupted, "How'd he get here? How'd he get __**in**__**here**__?"_

_"Who knows?" Vince said, "Mark was asleep, so the body could have come in the door...from another hotel room maybe._

**Bret: **I thought it took a key card to get through the door.

**Shawn: **(to Hunter) So much for the author's earlier plot points.

**Hunter: **The body could have forced the door open some other way.

_The body could have been about the same height and weight as Mark. You don't know for sure. You're not a doctor."_

_"I'm a pretty good judge of height and weight," I exclaimed. "I've seen a lot of bodies."_

**Shawn: **(holding back laughter, to Bret) That line doesn't sound right coming from you at all.

**Bret: **I think my character's just trying to say that he's been around a lot of wrestlers of all shapes and sizes and that he's observant.

**Shawn: **Sure he is.

_"Yes," said Vince, "I know you have. Which means, you have a lot of body types in your head."_

_"So..." I said, wanting to know where Vince was going with this._

_"So," Vince continued, "you saw a body that was Mark's same height and weight...and your mind did the rest."_

_I shook my head, "No. No way. I'm not crazy."_

**Sean: **(to Bret) And now you know, neither was Mark.

_"I never said you were crazy," Vince corrected, "you just have a vivid imagination. You've always had a special way to see things."_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Your special way of seeing things in your head has come back to haunt you.

**Bret: **(protesting) I see matches in my head. Not my friend's faces on lifeless bodies.

_"Not things that aren't there!" I said. "The body had no fingerprints..."_

_This time, Vince interrupted, "Maybe it didn't. Maybe it took them off with acid."_

**Bret & Shawn: **Ouch!

**Sean: **That acid line was taken from the first 'Invasion' movie.

_I exhaled and closed my eyes. I didn't know what to think anymore. "Shawn, you saw what I saw, right?"_

_"I don't know, Bret..." Shawn answered. He was still kneeling by his sitting lover. "I was more concerned with waking Mark up then with what the body was doing. You got a better look at it than I did." He paused and looked at Vince. "Maybe Vince is right and there is a sensible explanation to all of this."_

**Bret: **(to Shawn) Oh, sure, take Vince's side.

**Shawn: **You expect me to lie about what I didn't see?

_"Mark?" I said looking to The Undertaker with hope...but knowing somehow that it was useless asking._

_Mark said, as I feared he would, "I didn't see my face on the body. And during the attack, I was pretty out of it." He rubbed his forehead and eyes. "Still feel kind of out of it too."_

**Sean: **Mark's got a pod-invasion-induced hangover.

_"You're exhausted. That's all," Vince proclaimed. "In fact, I suggest we all try to get some sleep."_

**Hunter: **It's good advice.

**Sean: **(looking over to Hunter) Are you nuts? It's deadly advice.

_Mark looked around his room, "I don't know if I can sleep in here..."_

_"Of course not," Vince agreed, "come up to my room. You can have the couch."_

**Bret: **Just what Mark wants to see...another couch.

_"I don't want to intrude upon you and Linda," Mark said._

_Vince shook his head, "You won't be intruding. And Linda won't mind. She'll even make you breakfast in the morning."_

**Sean: **Mark will be one of the family by then.

**Shawn: **I don't suppose there's any chance that Mark will say no.

_Mark considered this, "All right. Thanks."_

**Bret: **(answering Shawn's last comment) Apparently not.

**Hunter: **(to Bret) I don't see you or Shawn offering Mark a place to stay.

_"Bret, Shawn, Hunter..." said Vince, "you three are welcome to breakfast too."_

**Sean: **The more the merrier.

**Hunter: **(a little eerily in his agreement) Yes.

**Sean: **(looks at Bret and grips the Hitman's arm)

**Bret: **(looks down at Sean's hand and back up to the Kid's face) Kid...

**Sean: **(trying to gesture with his head towards Hunter)

_"What time?" Hunter asked._

_"Let's say..." Vince thought, "eight. That should be plenty of time...for everyone to get some sleep."_

**Sean: **(with a tinge of fear in his throat) Time for everyone to be taken over.

_"Sounds good," Hunter said. He started to stand up. _

_Shawn started to help Hunter up._

_Hunter said to Shawn as he was being helped, "I'm all right." As Hunter was on his feet, "You don't have to be so concerned about me."_

_"But I am concerned," Shawn said with hurt in his voice._

**Hunter: **Shawn, your character is not doing a good job of keeping your relationship with mine a secret from Vince.

**Shawn: **(who's noticed that Sean has a hand on Bret's arm) Yeah, and you're doing too good of a job. (puts a hand on Bret's other arm)

_Hunter, looking at Shawn, said, "I'll take you back to your room."_

_"I can make it," Shawn asserted._

**Shawn: **A yeah for me.

_Hunter insisted, "I'll stay with you."_

_Shawn was surprised and you could tell delighted, "Really?"_

**Shawn: **(to his character) Don't get suckered in.

_Hunter nodded. He took Shawn by the arm and walked to the door._

**Shawn: **Damn.

_Shawn stopped himself and Hunter to turn back to myself, Vince and Mark, "Good night."_

**Sean: **(to Shawn's character) Goodbye.

_Then, Hunter opened the door and he and Shawn were gone._

_I also said my good nights to Mark and Vince and left the room for my own._

_End of Chapter 8 of the post_

**Hunter: **(as he slowly turns to the others) And now...(when the others can view him, they see that his eyes are emotionless, his tone cold) time to go to sleep.

**Bret: **(who still has the Kid and Shawn's hands on his; he tells Sean) Run.

**Sean: **(doesn't have to be told twice, still holding onto Bret - he jumps up, knocking his tray over - and runs)

**Bret: **(both pulled and up on his own - knocking his tray over - runs too)

**Shawn: **Sorry, Hunter...(pulled by Bret, runs also)

Sean, Bret, and Shawn run up the aisle and out the theater door as fast as they can. Hunter watches them and slowly gets up to follow.

End of Chapter 9 of the fan fic

* * *

**Authors Note: I was hoping to end it at chapter 10, but the story keeps growing. Hope you liked this chapter. There will be more soon.**


	11. Ch 10:  Confrontation, Defeat And Return

Time: It's still Wednesday, September 19, 2007 on Earth.

Sean, Bret and Shawn - upon leaving the theater - ran into the Satellite's den. Shawn and the Kid have let go of Bret's arms.

**Shawn: **How the hell did this happen?

**Sean: **There must have been a pod in Hunter's room last night and when Hunter slept, the pod took him over.

**Shawn: **Thanks, I think I got that part. What I mean is that I thought the pods were just science fiction.

**Sean: **A lot of science fiction contains science fact. (almost whimpers) But I didn't think the pods were fact either.

**Shawn: **Don't fall apart on us, Kid, you're the expert.

**Bret:** How do we defeat a pod, Kid?

**Sean: **(a little braver) A pod person can die like a normal person...

**Shawn: **(concerned for Hunter) Wait...die?

**Bret: **Good. We can take Hunter.

**Sean:** But the pod people's strength is in their collective numbers - and the fact that you can't keep from sleeping forever. And someone had to have put a pod in Hunter's room.

**Hunter: **(at the den's doorway) That's right. (with the others looking at him, Hunter enters the den coming slowly closer to them)

**Shawn: **(pleading) Hunter, please...whatever you're thinking of doing, don't do it.

**Hunter: **I'm not going to hurt you...any of you. I'm going to make you better.

**Bret: **I know I'm fine the way I am.

**Hunter: **You're troubled. I can make your troubles go away.

**Sean: **I like my troubles.

**Hunter: **Join me and you'll never miss them.

**Shawn: **(gently) Hunter...(as Hunter looks right at Shawn) even though you're a pod, you're still my best friend...(more sternly) that's why I'm so sorry for this. (comes at Hunter...and delivers Sweet Chin Music to his friend's jaw)

**Hunter: **(head snaps back and he falls backward, hitting the floor like a ton of bricks)

**Shawn: **(surprised that Hunter was taken out so easily, he moves back to Bret and Sean) I didn't expect that to work.

**Bret: **I didn't expect you to kick him.

**Shawn: **I've kicked him before...during a match...(gesturing to Hunter who hasn't moved) but not **him**, of course...the real Hunter...

**Sean: **(interrupting Shawn's babbling) What do we do with (also gestures to Hunter) **him**?

**Bret: **(goes over to Hunter's body)

**Shawn: **We could tie him up.

**Sean:** And then what? Keep him as a pet?

**Bret:** (kneeling at Hunter's side and examining him, continues to examine Hunter as Shawn and the Kid talk)

**Shawn:** I don't know...but we don't have to kill him, right?

**Sean: **Shawn, that's not Hunter anymore.

**Shawn: **I know that.

**Sean: **The real Hunter's dead.

**Shawn: **(closes his eyes) I figured that...(opens his eyes, getting angry) I also figure that we can interrogate the thing that killed him.

**Sean: **Sounds like a plan.

**Bret: **(looks to the Kid and Shawn) There's just one little problem to it.

**Shawn: **(he and Sean look at Bret) What's that?

**Bret:** He's dead.

**Shawn: **(shocked) But all I did was kick him.

**Bret: **I can't explain it either. But at the same time, I'm not sorry about it. You shouldn't be either. You didn't mean to kill him.

**Shawn: **What I did was kill our chance to find out who put the pod on the ship.

**Vince's voice: **(fills the den) That would be me.

As our heroes look around the den, the pod Hunter suddenly disassembles. Bret backs away from it as it breaks up into molecules...and disappears.

**Vince: **(pops up on the tv screen) Hello, gentlemen.

**Bret: **(angrily goes to the tv, just as Shawn and the Kid do) You...

**Shawn: **You did this?

**Sean: **(jumping to conclusions) You're the leader of the pod people, just like in the fan fic.

**Vince: **The fan fic didn't make me leader of the pod people, did it?

**Bret: **Well, aren't you...for real?

**Vince: **(like he's talking to a child) Bret...pod people are science fiction. Do we have to have a discussion about what's real and what's make-believe?

**Bret: **(glares at Vince) You set us up.

**Vince: **(smiles) I did. It was so easy too.

**Shawn: **(demanding) Where's Hunter?

**Vince: **With me.

**Shawn: **Is he all right?

**Vince: **He's a little upset that his time with Stephanie and Aurora has ended so soon, but other than that, he's fine.

**Shawn: **(confused) Come again?

**Vince: **I let Hunter see his wife and daughter so that I could carry out my plan.

**Bret: **Which was?

**Vince: **To have a clone of Hunter's act like a pod person...so that it would freak you out.

**Sean: **It did.

**Vince: **Good. Then I can also say that the Clone De-emotionalizing Test was a success.

**Bret: **Clone De-emotionalizing Test?

**Vince: **Yes...the only thing is that the Clone De-emotionalizing Process seems to make the clone easier to kill.

**Shawn: **Maybe you have to be able feel in order to live.

**Vince; **(considers this) Perhaps. (looks away from our heroes for a moment) I just got a message from Marie. You made a mess in the theater.

**Shawn: **Not me. (points to Bret and Sean) Them.

**Vince: **It doesn't matter who made it. It needs to get cleaned. And you need to get back to reading the post.

**Bret: **(sighs heavily) How much longer is this thing?

**Vince: **Another two or three chapters.

**Bret, Shawn & Sean: **(groans)

**Vince: **So, I'll send Hunter back to you and then you can get on your way. (disappears from the tv screen which shuts off)

**Bret: **I suppose we'd better...

Just then, the sound of the transporter was heard. Our heroes watched as molecules appeared and reformed themselves. After a moment, Hunter stood before them in a bathrobe.

**Hunter: **(irritated) Why do I almost always get transported when I'm semi-naked?

**Shawn: **Hunter...(comes closer to Hunter) is that you?

**Hunter: **(afraid) Why? (checking his body with his hands) Did the transporter malfunction again?

**Shawn: **No, but...

**Sean: **You are you, right?

**Hunter: **Of course, I'm me.

**Sean: **(comes to Hunter and starts circling, checking Hunter for any thing out of place)

**Hunter: **(eyeing Sean) Kid?

**Sean: **Where have you been?

**Hunter: **With Stephanie and Aurora in their room in WWE Headquarters. Didn't Vince tell you?

**Shawn: **He told us a few moments ago.

**Hunter: **He didn't tell you earlier when you first woke up?

**Shawn: **No.

**Hunter: **Vince said he'd let you know where I was.

**Bret: **What exactly did Vince tell you today?

**Hunter: **(remembering his morning) When I woke up, Vince contacted me in my room.

**Shawn: **He can do that?

**Hunter: **Apparently. Anyway, Vince said that he would let me see Steph and Aurora for a few hours.

**Bret: **Did he say why he was being so nice?

**Hunter: **I didn't think to ask why. I just jumped at the chance to see my wife and daughter.

**Sean: **(clearly upset) It's just like you to think with your little brain and not your big one.

**Hunter: **(surprised by Sean's anger) Kid! (to Bret and Shawn) What's wrong with him?

**Shawn: **We haven't had the best of mornings.

**Hunter: **Why? What happened? (thinks a moment) Did Vince do something?

**Shawn: **Vince sent us a de-emotionalized clone of you to act like a pod person copy of you.

**Hunter: **(doesn't understand everything Shawn just said) There's a clone of me running around?

**Shawn: **He's not running around. He's dead. I killed him.

**Hunter: **(shocked) You killed...me?

**Sean: **You were about to attack us.

**Hunter: **(to Shawn) How'd you kill me?

**Shawn: **Superkicked you really hard.

**Hunter: **(speechless)

**Shawn: **I'm just glad it wasn't really you.

**Hunter: **Yeah, me too.

**Sean: **(very close to Hunter) You had no idea what was going on with us?

**Hunter: **None, I swear.

**Vince's voice: **(filling the den) He really didn't. Now, don't you gentlemen have something to do?

**Bret: **(sighs) I'll get the mop, broom and dustpan. Kid, you get the trash can...

**Sean: **(interrupting) Nope. (glaring at Hunter) I'm not letting Hunter out of my sight.

**Hunter: **I need to change. (gestures to his robe) I was in the shower when Vince's men came for me.

**Sean: **You can change. You're just doing it in front of me.

**Hunter: **No way.

**Sean: **Then you can stay in your robe for all I care, but I am not taking my eyes off of you.

**Hunter: **(threateningly making a fist) Guess I'll have to remove your eyes for you, Kid.

**Bret: **(stepping into the situation) Okay then...Hunter, let the Kid come to your room with you.

**Hunter: **No.

**Bret: **(to Hunter) Look, it will make us all feel easier about you if you do. (to Sean) Kid, when Hunter is getting dressed, look away.

**Sean: **I will feel easier about Hunter if I don't.

**Bret: **(pleading) Kid...please...

**Sean: **(relinqueshing) All right. (to Hunter, gesturing for him to move) You go ahead of me.

**Hunter: **(to Bret) If he tries anything...

**Sean: **(loudly) If I try anything!

**Bret: **(sternly) Guys...don't try anything!

**Hunter: **(moves towards the den's door with Sean right behind him)

**Bret: **And meet us in the theater when you're done. (watches Hunter and Sean exit the den, then Bret looks to Shawn) Shawn, if you could grab the trashcan...

**Shawn: **I didn't make a mess.

**Bret: **Shawn, I can't carry everything myself. (begging) Please?

**Shawn: **Oh, fine. (heads towards the kitchen)

**Bret: **And grab some rags while you're at it?

**Shawn: **This day sucks. (exits the den)

**Bret: **I couldn't agree with you more. (exits the den)

End of Chapter 10 of fic

* * *

**Author's note: The next chapter will have more of the post. As always, thanks for reading.**


	12. Ch 11:  The Drawn Out Conclusion

After getting the cleaning supplies, Bret and Shawn had gone into the theater. Bret immediately went to work - picking up trays, bowls, spoons, and cereal boxes, and stacking them in the row of seats in front of him. Then, he threw out the carton of milk. Then he proceeded to mop up the spilled milk.

At first, Shawn stood by and watched. The Kid really should have been helping with this...but finally, Shawn gave in and assisted Bret with the clean up by wiping up the milk that had spilled on the back of the seats.

The clean up was almost done when Sean and a fully clothed Hunter entered the theater.

**Hunter: **(looking at Bret and Shawn) What happened?

**Bret: **We had a little accident...

**Shawn: **(clears his throat) Ahem!

**Bret: **The Kid and I had a little accident.

**Shawn: **That's better.

**Sean: **(to Hunter) It never would have happened had you just informed us yourself that you were leaving for a few hours.

**Hunter: **How much longer are you going to scold me for that? (to Bret and Shawn) He just went on and on about it through the whole time I was getting dressed.

**Sean: **And I will keep on doing so until my heart rate returns to normal. (puts a hand to his chest) I think Vince almost gave me a heart attack with that clone of his.

**Hunter: **My clone was that scary?

**Shawn: **It didn't help that just before the clone came after us, we had read a chapter in Laura's fic, which featured you as a pod person.

**Hunter: **Oh. Did I attack you in the fic?

**Shawn: **No, not yet, but that's because Bret, Mark and my characters don't know you're a pod.

**Hunter: **Well, I guess it means that, when you do find out, that our relationship in the fic will be over.

**Shawn:** I already came to the same conclusion.

**Bret: **(looking towards the theater screen) Looks like our post is starting again. (the others look at the screen too)

_Marie: Speaking of conclusions..._

**Sean: **You're going to send us the conclusion to our post?

_Marie: Yes...all three chapters of it. _

**All: **(groan)

**Shawn: **I was really hoping it would be two.

_Marie: I can stretch it and make it four._

**Shawn: **(panicked) No! Three is okay.

**Bret: **I thought you didn't write this story.

_Marie: No, but I am it's editor. And I'm allowed to edit as I wish._

**Hunter: **(accusingly) Abuse of power.

_Marie: If someone is about to say that, 'With great power, there must also come great responsibility', I will write him up into the worst fan fic he could possibly imagine._

**All: **(remain silent)

_Marie: Good...now take your seats._

Bret and Shawn moved the cleaning supplies out of their row. Then, our heroes entered the row - Hunter first, Shawn, Bret, and finally Sean.

_Invasion Of The WWE Chapter 9_

_When I opened the door to my hotel room, I jumped as someone said:_

**Hunter: **(like Jack Nicholson from 'Batman') Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

_"Where have you been?" It was only Cinzia._

**Hunter: **(as Bret in the post) Oh, you know, out with the boys. Living it up. Doing anything to avoid coming home to you. (the others look at him strangely)

_I looked at my wife. Why had I been startled by her?_

**Hunter: **She's probably wearing a skin mask. Those things could frighten the pants off of anybody.

**Shawn: **(in an admonishing tone) Hunter...

**Hunter: **(ignoring Shawn) I should know. Stephanie likes these masks that make her look like the Wicked Witch Of The West.

**Shawn: **(more forcefully) Hunter!

**Hunter: **(thinks he's being scolded for his comment about Stephanie, he says - positively) But her skin does look radiant in the morning.

**Shawn: **That is not what I'm yelling your name for.

**Hunter: **Then, what?

**Shawn: **Why are you misting so much?

**Hunter: **Well, I missed a whole chapter. It was awful, right.

**Shawn:** (nods)

**Hunter:** I'm just making up for lost misting, that's all.

_Must still be spooked by what I saw...correction, what I thought I saw._

_I answered Cinzia finally, "In Mark's room...he had a bad dream." Guess I kind a did too._

**Bret: **'Kind a' should be 'kind of'.

**Shawn: **(annoyed) Don't you start in with your grammar lessons.

_"And he needed you because..." Cinzia questioned._

_"He was really scared," I replied._

_"Is he better now?" Cinzia wondered._

_I nodded, "He's staying with Vince...just in case he's not."_

_"In that case, he'll be better soon," said Cinzia, "I'm sure of it."_

**Hunter: **Wait...why is Mark staying with Vince?

**Sean: **(sighs, annoyed too) If you had been here, you'd know this.

**Hunter: **(looks like he could reach over Shawn and Bret to whack the Kid)

**Shawn: **(even more upset) Give it a rest, Kid. (to Hunter) After Mark, Bret and I tried to get you and Vince to believe us about the body...which is somehow gone completely, Vince offered Mark his couch to sleep on. And you went back with me to my room.

**Hunter: **Oh...(glaring over to Sean) now was that so hard?

_I didn't know what Cinzia meant...how she could be sure...but I do now._

**Sean: **Cinzia's gone.

_"Me too," but I wasn't._

_"You must be tired," Cinzia said._

_"Extremely," I said back._

_"Come to bed," she said, holding her hand out to me._

_I came to her and took her hand. She took me in the bedroom. _

**Shawn: **(looks disgusted) Ugh! I don't want to read about Bret having sex with his wife.

_Before we could make it to the bed, _

**Sean: **(as Bret in the post) Cinzia pushed me to the floor.

**Bret: **I'm with Shawn on this; I don't want to read about me having sex with my wife either.

_I suddenly pulled Cinzia to me and embraced her...trying to sink myself into her warmth._

**Sean: **Wouldn't that be easier to do without any clothes on?

**Bret & Shawn: **(shouting) Kid!

_My hungry mouth found hers and we kissed...except..._

**Hunter: **(as Bret in the post) I found that Cinzia had an extremely bad case of morning breath, so I wasn't hungry for her anymore.

**Bret: **Hunter!

**Hunter: **I'm sorry, I couldn't help it!

_I was the only one doing the kissing._

_True, our lips were together, but hers were unresponsive._

_I broke the kiss and moved my face away from hers in order to look at her. Her face was as unresponsive as her kiss._

_Just then, I remembered what Mark had said to me_

**Sean:** (singing the 'Shoop Shoop' song) If it's love, if it really is, it's there in her kiss.

_about his wife Sara, 'And when I kiss her - what used to be warm - is now cold.'_

_Was my mind still playing tricks on itself?_

**Shawn: **(to the screen) If your mind pulls a rabbit out of a hat,** that's** when you should be worried.

_Cinzia's voice brought me out of my thoughts, "They'll be time enough for that later." _

**Bret: **Why do I have problems believing that?

_Cinzia rarely ever denied me. "For now, get some rest."_

_Though sleep was far from my mind now, _

**Shawn: **(to the screen) What? All because Cinzia wouldn't have sex with you?

**Bret:** I think that's only part of it, Shawn.

_I got out of the embrace and moved away from Cinzia, to the bed. I got in and laid down on my back._

_Cinzia proceeded to pull the covers on top of me...tucking me in. _

**Hunter: **(as Cinzia) There...snug as a bug in a rug.

_Once she thought I was settled, she turned off the lamp at my bedside and then walked to the end of the bed...and kept moving to the door._

_"Aren't you coming to bed?" I asked._

_My wife looked at me, "I will in a little bit. I want to call my parents."_

**Shawn:** Is that the best excuse the author can come up with to get Cinzia out of the room?

_"Now?" I looked at the clock next to me. "It's 4:17 in the morning."_

_"It's mid-morning in Italy," Cinzia replied. "I want to catch them before they go out."_

**Bret: **(as an emotionless version of his wife, as she is talking to her parents) Hi, Mom...Dad...Pittsburgh has been truly an eye opening experience for me. I am a better person for it. Bret is not as good...but he soon will be. See you soon. You won't believe the change in me...but you will.

_Without further explanation, Cinzia opened the door and left me in the bedroom alone._

_There was no way I was going to sleep. I could accept that my mind might have played tricks on itself earlier, but now I knew something was wrong._

_I wanted so badly to get out of bed and out of the bedroom...but I had to wait until I knew Cinzia wasn't coming back._

_When ten minutes had passed, and Cinzia hadn't returned, I decided to get moving._

**Sean: **About time! At this rate, there won't be anyone left who's unchanged.

_I went first to the bedroom dresser...and searched through my wife's things as quietly as I could...which wasn't easy because it was dark. But I had to keep the light off, or Cinzia would know I was up. _

_Despite the darkness, I found what I was looking for. _

**Hunter: **(in a deep and imposing voice) Behold! The mighty lipstick!

_I gripped it in the palm of my left hand tightly._

**Shawn: **That's bound to leave a mark.

_Next, I carefully went to the door and cautiously opened it just a crack to look out...onto the living area. Across from the bedroom door was the door to the hallway...and the distance in between was partly taken up by the couch...where Cinzia sat._

**Bret: **From where she could see me...I'm busted.

_Lucky for me, the couch was slightly to the side of the bedroom and hallway doors and also lucky was that the front faced away from the doors...which meant that Cinzia faced away from me. _

**Sean: **(to Bret) Guess you're not busted.

**Hunter: **(finding the story to be too contrived) What a lucky plot point!

_As she said she would be, Cinzia was on her cell phone...but I don't think it was with her parents._

_Cinzia talked to a voice I couldn't hear. Her voice sounded very alien to me, "Yes, he's in bed." She listened, then answered, "No, I don't know if he's asleep yet." _

**Sean: **(to Bret) She's slacking on job.

_She listened again. "I'm going to check on him in a moment." Listened, again. "I think laying in bed just watching him sleep might make him suspicious if he wakes up. After all, that's why he came in the first place...because Sara frightened Mark." _

**Hunter: **Sara is a five foot four petite blonde. I'm sorry, but I can't picture her ever frightening The Undertaker.

_She listened a final time. She finally said, "Then, Mark will no longer be frightened."_

**Shawn: **I'm surprised that the author has left out the dialogue from the person Cinzia is talking to... (pause) considering she's already put in an abundance of detail everywhere else.

_Cinzia hung up. She started to rise...and just before she turned towards the bedroom..._

_I dived behind the couch!_

**Hunter: **(as Bret in the post) But because it wasn't water that I dived into, I knocked myself out and when I woke up, I found that the whole world had been completely overrun by pod people.

_Even though I didn't dare look at her, I figured that Cinzia had started to walk to the bedroom...so I started to crawl on my stomach towards the hallway door. _

**Bret: **That would so kill my knees.

_Halfway there, I started to crawl faster and faster...then, just inches away from the hallway door, I heard a doorknob turning from behind me...I knew Cinzia was entering the bedroom...I quickly got to my feet..._

**Bret: **Not with my knees, I wouldn't.

_leapt at the hallway door...opened it...and leapt into the hallway...and just a split second after..._

**Hunter: **(as Bret in the post) I crashed into the opposite wall and knocked myself out.

**Bret: **(to Hunter) Quit knocking me out.

_I heard the most inhuman scream ever...if a crypt containing the most awful thing this world has ever seen could scream...__**that**__ scream would be that sound._

**Shawn: **The crypt is doing the screaming?

**Bret: **Must be similar to saying 'if these walls could talk'.

_I ran._

_End of Chapter 9 of post_

**Sean: **That's one chapter down.

_Chapter 10_

_I wanted to run to Mark's hotel room...based off of Cinzia's phone call, I knew he was in trouble...but Mark was with Vince...and something told me I couldn't trust Vince._

**Bret: **Maybe because I haven't trusted Vince since 1997?

_Looking back now, I suppose that was the one thing that hadn't changed when everything else around me was. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) For a fan fic character, yours shows amazing self-awareness.

_I ran to Shawn's room...maybe together, we could rescue Mark. _

_I tried Shawn's door, but of course, it was locked._

**Sean: **You need a keycard.

_But I was prepared for this. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) You stole my keycard?

_I opened my left hand to take from it the object I'd taken from my wife's things..._

**Hunter: **I don't think you can fit lipstick into a key lock.

_a hairpin._

**Hunter: **Oh...

**Sean: **Oh, wait! A hairpin wouldn't work on a sophisticated locking mechanism. (thinks) It would work on a turn-style lock. (the others eye him suspiciously) Or so I've read.

_I bent the long half of the hairpin and placed the whole into the lock of Shawn's door. I jiggled the hairpin a bit, felt some resistance and turned...and heard the lock mechanism come undone._

**Hunter: **How convenient.

**Shawn: **What's really convenient is that I have a different lock on my door than everyone else in the hotel does.

_Relief rushed through my body. I put my hand on the doorknob and opened Shawn's door. _

_There was no one in the living area that I entered. So, I went across the room to what I assumed would be the bedroom door. I opened that door..._

**Shawn: **(as Bret in the post) And entered the coat closet instead. (as himself, sarcastically to Bret) My hero.

**Bret:** (to Shawn) Shut up.

_and just as I did, I thought I heard another door open and close from inside the bedroom. _

**Sean: **Shawn has ghosts.

_I didn't let that opening and closing door stop me. I came into the bedroom...and gaped in horror at what I saw._

_Shawn was lying on the bed..._

**Shawn: **Where else would I be?

_But he was also on the floor _

**Shawn: **So not good for my back. Doesn't the author realize that?

_partly under the bed. From his chest upward, the body of the Shawn under the bed was visible. Very visible. He appeared to be naked._

**Sean: **Well, the pod can't copy the clothes that its victim is wearing.

**Bret: **I just hope that the Shawn on the bed is wearing clothes.

_The Shawn on the bed had his pajamas on._

**Bret: **Oh, thank God.

**Shawn: **(glares at Bret)

_So, I hadn't been imagining things earlier. The body on Mark's coffee table had been beginning to look like Mark._

_And now, the body under Shawn's bed looked almost exactly like Shawn. He even had a bruise on his left cheek. _

**Sean: **The author remembers to put a bruise on the pod Shawn's cheek, but she can't remember that the hotel rooms open with keycards?

**Hunter: **Let the keycards go, Kid.

_And I also saw tentacles coming from the body under the bed and - though there were less of them than had been attaching Mark to his double - they were attached to the Shawn on the bed._

**Sean: **(opening his mouth)

**Shawn: **(to Sean, silencing the Kid) Don't you dare say any are up my butt.

_After I had taken in the whole scene before me, I quickly moved to the Shawn on the bed...being very careful to avoid the Shawn on the floor._

_"Shawn..." _

_Shawn didn't move._

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Well, you're not exactly trying very hard to wake me up either.

_"Shawn!"_

_Now that I was closer to the Shawn on the bed, I could see that his skin was looking dry...and it seemed a little flaky._

**Hunter: **Shawn, and I say this because you're my best friend...get your psoriasis checked.

**Shawn: **(glares at Hunter)

_I had to do something and fast._

_Remembering how Mark's double had reacted to Mark pulling the tentacles off of himself, I pulled a few of the tentacles off of Shawn._

**Sean: **And pulled some of Shawn's skin off in the process.

_I immediately heard an inhuman howl...and something grabbed my ankle._

**Bret: **(screams, the others look at him)

**Shawn: **Don't do that again.

_I looked down at my feet...and saw that Shawn's double had a hold of me. _

**Sean: **(singing an old Smokey Robinson song, changing 'on' to 'of') You really got a hold of me.

_The double didn't have a strong grip...good thing or I might not be writing about my experience today..._

**Hunter: **And we wouldn't be reading about your experience today.

_and I saw that the once smooth skin of the double was now wrinkling._

_I yanked the remaining tentacles off of __**The**__ Shawn..._

**Bret: The** Shawn?

**Shawn: **(proclaiming) The one and only, baby!

_And the double let go of me and continued to shrivel up...and shrink._

**Sean: **Like a raisin?

_But my concern about the double turned to concern for Shawn..._

_As Shawn woke up!_

_Gasping, but awake!_

_Shawn coughed...coughing my name out as well, "Bret?"_

_Again, relief rushed through me...a double shot of it this time._

**Sean: **Relief is like espresso?

_Shawn coughed again. "What's going on? Why am I having trouble breathing?"_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) I should be asking what you're doing in my room.

_I was deeply worried. I knew then that the thing under the bed had almost killed Shawn..._

**Bret: **This fan fic is playing on childhood fears. For Mark, the pod was in the closet. For Shawn, it's under the bed.

_And I knew we had to get out..._

_Out of the hotel all together._

_Without a word to Shawn, I reached out to him...and started to pick him up in my arms._

**Shawn: **And I started to resist, right?

_"Bret?" Shawn cried out. "What are you doing?"_

_I still said nothing, but brought Shawn's body to my chest. Then, I said, "Hold on to me."_

_Surprisingly, Shawn didn't protest. _

**Shawn: **Like hell I wouldn't.

**Hunter: **I think the author is making you out to be a damsel in distress, Shawn.

**Bret: **He has the hair for it.

**Shawn: **(looks at Bret just daring him to say more, Bret wisely doesn't)

_Maybe he was __**that **__out of it..._

**Shawn: **I would have to be to allow myself to be picked up.

_Wait...Shawn - who is now reading what I am writing from over my shoulder - just told me that somehow, he knew that I was there to rescue him._

_And rescuing him, I was._

**Hunter & Sean: **(act sentimental and sweet) Awww...

_Shawn put his arm around my neck...and I will admit, it felt...good to hold him like that._

**Hunter & Sean: **(even more sweetly) Awwwww...

**Bret & Shawn: **Cut that out!

_Good for a moment..._

**Bret: **And then I came to my senses?

_And then we were off._

**Shawn: **(based off of Bret's earlier comment) Apparently not.

_I ran, with Shawn in my arms, out of his bedroom...out of his hotel room...down to the end of the hallway...through the stairwell door...down the stairs...all four flights of them..._

**Bret: **I'm in better shape than I realized.

_Shawn tried to protest after I had made it down two flights of stairs, "Bret, I can walk."_

**Shawn: **(uncertainly) I still have legs, right?

_I wouldn't hear of it. I continued down the last two flights..._

_And entered the hotel lobby..._

**Shawn: **Whoo hoo! We're almost out of this fan fic.

_Where armed cops stood by. Their guns were fixed upon Shawn and I._

**Bret: **(based off of Shawn's last comment) Or not.

_That's when I put Shawn down._

**Shawn: **Now? (to Bret, sarcastic) Great timing.

_One of the cops brought a walkie talkie up to his mouth, "We have them." He listened, then said, "Yes, sir." Then, he put the walkie talkie away and said to Shawn and I, "Bret Hart...Shawn Michaels...you will come with us."_

_Shawn and I didn't have much of a choice._

**Sean: **(to Bret and Shawn)Not unless you want to get a belly full of lead.

_End of Chapter 10 of post_

**Hunter: **That's two down. One to go.

_Chapter 11_

_Six armed cops forced us through the hotel lobby with their guns. They forced us right to the elevators...and into one of them. _

_We went up six floors...got out of the elevator...and were forced down the hallway..._

**Sean: **Were they forced to the right or to the left?

**Hunter: **(sarcastically) Yes, don't spare us that detail.

_to room 666._

**Sean: **(knowing that 666 is the sign of the devil) That's just way too obvious to comment on.

**Bret: **We must have been walking down the hallway for quite a bit.

_The only cop to have spoken, the one in charge, knocked on the door._

_The door opened and Shawn and I were forced through. The cops followed us in. _

_Before Shawn and I, stood Vince, Hunter...and Mark._

_Since Mark now stood with Vince and Hunter, I knew it was too late for him._

**Bret: **I think the author forgot that paragraphs should be more than one sentence long.

**Shawn: **Unless, since she's writing in your name, she thinks that you don't know that.

_"Leave us," said Vince, speaking to the cops._

_The lead cop said, "Sir, don't you think that would be unwise? What if they try to escape again?"_

**Sean: **I'd be concerned about them escaping too if I was made out of a heavy metal.

**Hunter: **(confused) What?

**Sean: **Well, being made out of lead, I doubt the cop can run very fast.

**Hunter: **(realizing) Kid, read the word 'lead' with a long 'e'.

**Sean: **(he does and realizes, embarrassed slightly) Oh!

_"They won't," said Vince. More to himself, he said, "Not that there's anywhere to go."_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) What? Are we the last humans on Earth?

_Then, he said to the lead cop, "Now, except for posting one guard at each end of the hallway, take your men and go wait in the lobby. I will be down shortly to give you and your men further instruction."_

**Sean: **I just knew that Vince was leader of the pods!

_The lead cop nodded and he and his men left, closing the door behind them. _

_"Bret...Shawn," said Vince, addressing us, "Please..." He gestured over to the couch, "Come and sit."_

_I looked to Shawn. Shawn shrugged his shoulders defeatedly. 'What else could we do?', that shrug said._

**Bret: **We could **not** sit down.

_Shawn and I came over to the couch and sat down side by side. _

_Vince sat directly in front of us on the coffee table._

_Slightly in back of him, sitting in chairs, one on each side of Vince, sat Hunter and Mark._

**Shawn: **Our judge, jury and executioner.

**Hunter: **I want to be the executioner. (Shawn gives him a look)

_Mark, on Vince's left, spoke, "It would have been so much easier if the two of you had simply fallen asleep."_

_I said to that, "Like you did?"_

_"Yes," Mark replied. _

**Sean: **And he put up such a fight earlier. It's sad.

_"Shawn had been asleep," Hunter said, "but Bret woke him up." Hunter paused, then said, "I watched Bret as he tore the pod from its host."_

_"I didn't see you in Shawn's room," I countered._

_"I was in the closet," Hunter replied._

**Sean: **(remembering that earlier in the fic - Hunter had kept his relationship with Shawn in the closet...literally, trying to contain his laughter) You ever think about coming out of the closet, Hunter?

**Hunter: **Your gay joke aside, I would never have hid in the closet from Bret. I would have attacked him.

**Sean: **(picturing Hunter sexually assaulting Bret, can't hold his laughter back anymore)

**Hunter: **Not like that!

_"Wait," Shawn said. He still sounded a bit dazed. "Pod? Host?"_

_"Pods are what we are," said Hunter, "hosts are what you are."_

_"You're parasites," I stated. I noticed that a bit of venom had crept into my throat._

**Shawn: **(to Bret in the post) Then you'd better spit it out.

_"We're not parasites, Bret," Vince said. "Parasites are organisms that offer no benefit to their host, and in fact, harm the host after taking what they want."_

**Bret: **That description of parasites fits a few humans I know too. (the real Vince for one thing - he thought)

**Shawn: **(thinks Bret is too cynical to be a hero) You're supposed to want to save humanity, Bret.

_"I believe that killing the host would be qualified as harming," I said, differing. "That is what you do, right?"_

**Sean: **Except for the truck driver in the prologue, which Bret wouldn't know about at** this **point, the pods haven't actually been shown killing anyone.

_"Yes," Vince said, and then contradicted himself, "And no."_

_"Which is it?" Shawn asked._

_"Both," answered Vince. "We take from the host everything important to the host, such as: physical appearance, memory, any special attributes like strength or intelligence. _

**Sean: **But not musical talent. (the others look at him questioningly) You have to have emotion to play music really well...don't you? (the others pause, then nod in agreement)

_We copy everything down to the last detail. So you see, the host does live; it's only the body...the flesh...that dies."_

_"It's still death to me," said Shawn. "No matter how good you make it sound."_

**Shawn: **I'm sorry, but **my** body and flesh dying doesn't sound good to me at all.

_"And the...what did you call it earlier?" I asked. "The pod?" Vince nodded at me and I continued, "Doesn't copy down to the very last detail, does it? It doesn't copy emotions."_

_Vince nodded again, "Emotions do get lost in the process. But are they really so important to keep?"_

**All: **Yes!

_"Of course, they're important to keep," yelled Shawn, horrified. "The ability to feel is what makes us human."_

**Sean:** But some animals can feel...does that make them human?

**Hunter: **Don't think about **that **too much, Kid; it will hurt your head.

_"But," Vince disagreed, "we're not human."_

_"You can say that again," I agreed._

_"Humans aren't perfect, are they?" Vince asked._

_"What is?" Shawn questioned._

_"We are," Hunter answered. Even as an unemotional pod, Hunter still acted superior._

**Sean:** (smugly) How's that saying go, 'the more things change'...

**Bret & Shawn: **(finishing) 'The more things stay the same.'

**Hunter: **(to Sean, bitterly) And to think, I was trying to save your brain earlier.

_"Not from __**my**__ viewpoint, you're not," spit back Shawn._

_"Shawn," Vince said, "try to keep an open mind." He sat up straighter and said, "You see, your emotions are clouding your ability to see things our way."_

_"Then by all means, explain __**your**__ way," Shawn said._

_"We are unburdened by the emotional baggage humans carry with them," Vince said, "this allows us to be more productive and efficient in our daily lives. Just think,_

**Hunter: **(as Vince) Without emotional baggage, I can...dare I say it...rule the world!

**Sean: **(criticizing) Too emotional. (earns another look from Hunter)

_without hatred and greed and jealousy, there can't be any war."_

_"Actually," I countered, "some wars begin and grow because of apathy." I paused to emphasize my next words. "Lack of feeling."_

_Vince just stared back at me._

**Shawn: **Good job, Bret! Vince is speechless!

**Bret: **The scary thing is that my character is right too.

_"All right," said Shawn, "you got rid of the bad feelings...props for that..._

**Shawn: **(disgusted) I did not just compliment Vince.

_but you also got rid of the good feelings..." He paused. "Like love."_

_"How is love a good feeling?" Vince said. _

**Hunter: **What? Vince doesn't remember sex?

_"It causes so much pain in the world. Shawn, you know how it feels to love someone who doesn't or can't love you back_

**Shawn: **I think that means you, Bret.

_or won't admit to others that he loves you." _

**Shawn: **And that would be Hunter I'm assuming. (dismayed) Nice to see my love life's as pathetic in fiction as it is in reality.

_Shawn looked away from Vince suddenly. "And Bret...you know what it's like to love someone, to put everything into that love, only to find that that love has disintergrated...even turning to hate in the end."_

_I thought of my ex-wife, Julie._

**Bret: **(thinking back) I don't think I ever hated Julie. Disliked at times...but hate?

**Shawn: **Maybe she hated you.

_Shawn looked back at Vince, "I don't care what you say about love, Vince." And the next words Shawn said fell like a bombshell. "I love you, Bret."_

**All: **Whoa!

**Shawn: **That's just a little sudden, isn't it?

**Sean: **I think that's why the author called it a bombshell.

_I stared at Shawn. My mouth was open and, at first, no words would come out. Then, I managed to say, "What?"_

_"I love you, Bret," Shawn said again. "I have since almost the first day I met you. I suppose it started by loving your in-ring ability...but you were also so nice...and handsome."_

**Shawn: **(disgustedly) Ugh...I'm gushing.

_"Shawn," I said weakly, "you don't know what you're saying."_

**Bret: **And I wish you weren't saying it.

_"See," Vince said, "Bret doesn't feel the same way. He never has."_

_"That's why you began to hate him," Hunter replied._

**Hunter: **Sounds like I know more about Shawn and Bret's relationship than I should.

**Sean: **Being that you are Shawn's best friend and, in this fic, his rebound lover, Shawn probably cried to you about Bret quite a bit.

_"That's true," Shawn admitted. "I watched you with your wife...with all the people you were with behind her back..._

**Shawn: **(to Bret) I guess you have seen a lot of bodies then.

**Bret: **(sighs miserably)

_and I wanted so badly to be your one and only." He paused a moment. "It made me jealous and crazy not to be with you...so, I acted out...and attacked you any way I could...Montreal was my way to get over you...for good." _

**Hunter: **There's an interesting take on the Montreal Screwjob.

**Sean: **The fic makes it sound so plausible too.

**Bret & Shawn: **Shut up!

_He was getting emotional now. "But it didn't work! I still love you."_

_I could not believe my ears...but, after I took a moment to digest all that Shawn said, I believed him in my heart._

**Bret: **(hoping) But I couldn't let Shawn know that I believed him, right?

_"I love you, too," I finally said to Shawn._

**Bret: **(groans)

_"You do!" Shawn cried, but then, "No, you don't."_

**Sean: **(to Shawn in the post) Bret has to since you two do get married.

**Shawn: **(to Bret) If he keeps it up, you will hit him for me, won't you? (Bret nods)

_"No, I do," I said. I took Shawn's hand. "I love you." How else could Shawn make me so crazy if I didn't?_

_"You're not just saying that because we're going to die, are you?" Shawn asked._

**Bret: **(says quickly) Yes!

_"No," and I wasn't. I kissed Shawn's hand and then we stared into each other's eyes._

**Sean: **(singing 'So This Is Love' from Disney's Cinderella) So this is love, mmmmmmm...(as Bret hits him in the back of the head) Ow!

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Thank you.

**Sean: **(rubbing the back of his head) Whatever happened to this being just a fan fic?

_"Can't say that I'm touched," Vince said, interrupting us. Then, he pulled something from his pocket...a capped off hypodermic needle._

_"What's that?" I asked, letting go of Shawn's hand._

_"A sedative," Vince replied and held up the needle. "To help you sleep and stay asleep. _

**Hunter: **There's only one needle?

**Shawn: **(with horror) That thing better be sterile.

_Mark, Hunter, get the pods."_

_Hunter and Mark got up and went to the bedroom. From there, they each brought out a giant green seed pod._

_"Where do you originally come from?" I wondered, already knowing in my gut that it wasn't from Earth._

**Sean: **(thinking) Might actually be creepier, and more original, if they were.

_"From space," Vince said. "We came to Earth from a dying world. We floated for hundreds of miles...carried on the solar winds til we found this planet. _

**Sean: **Like in the opening scene of the 1978 version of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers.

_A planet that has such life on it. It will be years before we'll need a new world."_

_"Why would you?" Shawn questioned._

_"Because," Vince explained, "eventually we will use all the life on this planet...and as we cannot reproduce the way that you can..._

**Hunter: **Why not? (answers himself) Because the pods don't copy their hosts reproductive organs? (the others shrug, Hunter becomes horrified) That means I'm never getting laid again!

_and as our current bodies will die in five years..._

**Sean: **Like in Jack Finney's original book.

**Bret: **Five years? Guess the pods don't copy their hosts' lifespans either.

_we will have to find a new planet with more life in order to survive."_

_"Where should we put these?" Mark asked._

_"Behind the couch," Vince answered._

_Mark and Hunter placed the pods behind the couch and then stood behind the couch. Mark placed his hands on my upper arms, restraining me. Hunter did the same to Shawn._

_Vince came closer to me with the syringe now uncapped._

**Bret: **Why am I first!

**Shawn: **That better be cleaned before Vince uses it on me, that's all I can say.

_I couldn't let Vince prick me with that needle...my arms were restrained, but my legs weren't..._

_I quickly lifted my right leg..._

_And kicked Vince's hand...sending the needle flying away from him._

**Sean: **Finally, some action!

_I think we caught Mark and Hunter off guard because their grip loosened on us._

**Bret: **Didn't sound that tight to begin with.

_"Shawn," I shouted, "now!"_

_I reached up and took Mark by the forearms, Shawn did the same to Hunter...and we ducked...pulling Mark and Hunter over our heads, over the couch and down onto each end of the coffee table where Vince still sat in front of us. _

**Hunter: **Would that have even been possible?

**Sean: **(ecstatic to have some violence) Who cares!

_With Mark and Hunter's sudden weight coming down upon it, the coffee table broke in half _

**Shawn: **Coffee tables aren't made like they used to be.

_and Vince, who was between the other two, fell into the crack._

_I jumped up off the couch...and leaped onto Mark. _

**Sean: **After just proclaiming his love for Shawn? (Bret looks at him, the Kid begs off) Don't hit me again.

_I started to pummel him down with my fists. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Shawn was doing the exact same thing to Hunter._

**Hunter: **Shawn!

**Shawn: **You're dead. What do you care?

_"This is for Hunter, you bastard!" Shawn screamed. _

**Shawn: **(to Hunter) At least, I'm doing it for you.

_I felt Mark stop moving under me_

**All: **(disgusted) Eww...(they think there had to be a better way to write that)

_and stopped hitting him...just as Vince grabbed my shoulders._

_Vince's mouth was close to my ear..._

**Hunter: **Look Bret, Vince wants to whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

**Bret: **(to Shawn, seeing if he can return the favor) Can you hit Hunter for me if he keeps **that **up?

**Shawn: **(hesitates, he's uncomfortable with hitting Hunter) Ummm...

_and he started to scream. It was the same inhuman scream that I had heard when I ran from my hotel room._

**Sean: **Bret is now deaf.

_"Get off of him!" Shawn screamed humanly. Shawn hit Vince in the back of the head with his fist, _

**Shawn: **Probably breaking my knuckle in the process.

_silencing Vince. Shawn then pulled Vince from me. _

_I got up on my feet and saw something on the floor just ahead of me. I went and got it. It was the hypodermic needle. _

_Shawn still had a hold of Vince, who was struggling._

_"Shawn," I said, "move away."_

_Shawn let go of Vince and rolled away, over Hunter, and onto the floor._

_I came down at Vince, who was starting to get up...and stuck the needle deeply into his eye. _

**All (but Sean): **(really disgusted) Ewwwwww...

**Sean: **(doesn't faze him at all) Cool!

_I injected the sedative too._

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Overkill much.

_Vince twitched...fell back down flatly...twitched some more...and then was still._

**Hunter: **Ding dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.

**Shawn: **(looks to Hunter) Did you watch 'The Wizard Of Oz' recently or something?

_"Come on," I said, looking to Shawn._

_I got up. Shawn ran to me and we took each other's hands. _

**Shawn: **(upon seeing Hunter open his mouth, he doesn't see - but Bret does - that Sean had opened his mouth too) No one had better say aww.

_We went to the hallway door._

_Before I opened it, Shawn said, "Bret, how do we get passed the guards? How do we get out of the hotel?"_

_I thought, then said, "By pretending to be one of them." Hell, they had pretended to be one of us. Poetic justice in my book. _

_"How do we do that?" Shawn questioned._

_"Show no emotion," I commanded. "Clear your mind and don't react to anything unless it's with a blank face."_

**Sean: **(to Shawn in the post) And whatever you do, don't react to - a dog getting run over, a half man-half dog pod, or someone saying that your baby brother is close by. (the others look at him questioningly) They happened in the movies.

_Shawn held up our joined hands, "Better let go of each other too."_

_"That would help," I agreed._

_But before he let me go,_

**Shawn: **I finally got to punch him in the face so that we could have matching bruises?

_Shawn pulled me close to him..._

**Bret: **(sinks down into his seat) Oh no...

_And kissed me._

_His kiss was warm...and promising..._

**Sean: **Of things to come in the future? (Bret raises a hand) I'll hit myself for that one. (hits the back of his head with his own hand) See?

_and exactly what I needed in order to keep going._

_Shawn removed his lips from mine and suddenly asked, "What about Cinzia?"_

**Shawn: **(to Bret, almost scolding) Nice to see that one of us remembered your wife.

_"She's one of them," I said._

_Before Shawn could reply, with what I think was sorry...I kissed Shawn back._

**Shawn: **This is a nightmare.

_After we broke that second kiss, we composed ourselves. We let go of each other and put a little distance between us._

**Hunter: **This could be worse, Shawn.

**Shawn: **How?

**Hunter: **Impromptu sex scene.

**Sean: **(agreeing) Happens in a lot of movies.

**Shawn & Bret: **(shudder, absolutely horrified)

_"Ready," I said. I tried hard not to make it sound like a question even though it was._

_Shawn nodded once and with a blank face._

_I turned the doorknob and Shawn stepped into the hall. I followed him out and closed the door behind me._

_"The elevator," I said. _

_Shawn and I walked back the way we had come when we were brought to Vince's. By the elevator stood a guard._

**Sean: **So, the elevator's at the end of the hallway?

**Hunter: **Either that or the guard is standing at the wrong spot.

_The guard saw us. "Well..."_

_Shawn and I stepped to him. "We're one of you now," I replied._

**Shawn: **(to Bret, ranting) If he doesn't buy that, you better grab his gun and blow my brains out because if I have to read about myself being captured again...

**Bret: **(interrupting) You're ranting, Shawn.

**Shawn: **The conclusion is being dragged out. I think I'm allowed.

_"Where is Vince?" The guard asked._

_"He and Hunter and Mark are cleaning up the waste," I said._

**Hunter:** There must be an awful lot of waste.

**Sean: **There shouldn't be. In the 1978 version, the host's remains fit into a trash bag.

_"Vince was supposed to tell me when you were changed," the guard said._

_"He's probably told your boss," Shawn said._

_"I'll have to check..." the guard replied._

**Shawn: **(worried about being recaptured) Breeet!

**Bret: **Easy, Shawn.

_"You do that," I replied back. I reached out and touched the down elevator button, praying inwardly that it would open quickly..._

_It did. Shawn walked into the elevator as calmly as he could. I followed._

**Shawn: **(fearing the worst, says to Bret) We're gonna stuck in the elevator, aren't we?

_"We'll see you soon," I told the guard, who was still watching us...looking for any sign of emotion. We didn't give him any._

_As the elevator door closed, I was tempted to stick my middle finger up at the guard..._

**Shawn: **(to Bret) If you do that, I'll take the cop's gun and shoot you first.

_but I resisted._

**Shawn: **(relieved) Thank you!

_Shawn and I quietly rode the elevator down to the lobby. We didn't dare say anything for fear that we'd break character._

**Hunter: **Looks like there's no love in the elevator for you. (Shawn hits him in the arm) Ow!

**Shawn: **(to Bret) I believe we're even.

**Bret: **(nods to Shawn)

_It was the longest elevator ride of my life. I feared that the guard we'd just spoken to would knock on Vince's door and, upon receiving no answer, would open it and find Vince, Hunter and Mark's bodies..._

**Hunter: **(rubbing his arm) Wait...are Mark and I dead?

_or I feared that Mark and Hunter would wake up even though Shawn and I had beaten them into unconsciousness._

**Hunter: **Oh...okay.

_Finally, the elevator reached the lobby...and Shawn and I walked out. The guards were not standing there waiting for us as I thought they would be. Instead, they were_

**Sean: **Getting donuts and coffee.

_dispersed._

_I looked to the main hotel doors...it was sunrise._

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Oh, God, you are not going to give us away by admiring the sunrise, are you?

_Then, the lead cop from earlier came to us and spoke, "My man said you were one of us."_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Why did we go through the main lobby? Wasn't there an emergency exit we could have used?

**Bret: **Probably, but alarms would have gone off.

_"Yes..." I said._

_"He also said that Vince hadn't told him yet," the cop replied. "Vince hasn't told me anything either."_

_"Vince told us that he had some things to organize," Shawn said, "that when he was done, he'd contact you."_

**Sean: **The cop's going to be waiting for a really long time.

_"He's probably organizing the lists," the cop said._

_"Yes," I agreed, "the lists." Lists of what?_

**Hunter, Bret & Shawn: **(look to Sean questioningly)

**Sean: **I don't know what lists. It's a new plot point for me too.

_Thankfully, the cop was forthcoming with information, though not about the lists, "Is that where you're off to...Main Street...to help with the transports?"_

_"Yes," I agreed again. Transports for what though?_

**Sean: **(remembering a scene from the 1956 version) Wait...the lists must pertain to transporting the pods to other cities.

_"And after we help with the transports," Shawn said, "we're to drive to Canada."_

**Shawn: **Drive! But that's...(thinking about the distance)

**Bret: **To Toronto, it's 224.71 miles.

_Where in the world did Shawn come up with that, I wondered to myself...though I was glad he did._

_And the cop bought it, "That explains why Vince wanted you, Bret...so we could get a start in Canada."_

**Hunter: **Vince wanted Bret to be the Typhoid Mary of Canada.

_Good to know that the pods weren't everywhere yet._

_"We best be going," I said._

_The cop checked me over once more. I stared blankly back, showing no emotion. He looked at Shawn...no emotion there either._

_The cop nodded his head, "You're good to go."_

**Sean: **You would think the cop would wonder why Bret was taking Shawn with him to Canada and not Cinzia.

**Hunter: **Maybe he was an incompetent cop, and the pod just copied what was there.

_I nodded back. Then, Shawn and I walked through the lobby...without further incident...and out of the hotel. _

_We walked in the direction of Main Street...just in case we were being followed. Main Street was a few blocks away._

_"And now..." Shawn asked. His voice was still unemotional...just in case._

**Shawn: **(to Bret) It would have been nice if you told me what the plan was.

**Bret: **Maybe I thought if you knew nothing, it would give you a clearer mind and it would be easier for you to imitate a pod.

_I wanted to answer Shawn, but I wanted to put some distance between us and the hotel first. Shawn accepted my silence._

**Hunter: **(to Shawn) This fic makes you accept a lot that wouldn't in real life.

_When we turned the corner..._

**Shawn: **I tripped over Bret because I didn't know what the plan was and we fell down in a heap.

_I risked a look over my shoulder...no one seemed to be directly following us. _

_However, there were people on the street now...people on their way to work. How many of them were pods?_

**Sean: **Ninety-nine percent of them.

_And were they going to Main Street to the transports? We couldn't take any chances._

_Shawn and I continued to walk in silence. I so badly wanted to walk faster, but that would have given us away._

_Finally, we came to where I wanted to be...a parking garage. _

**Shawn: **A parking garage? Wait, are we stealing a car?

**Bret: **I don't think this is the time to be opposed to grand theft auto, Shawn.

_Shawn and I entered it. _

_There were a few cars here...and another coming into it...and up ahead, three people. One was getting out of his car, another stood by hers and another walked in our direction._

**Hunter: **(very tired of all the little details) I really don't care who's in the parking garage.

_I walked to the elevator. Shawn followed my steps, never letting on that he didn't know what I was doing._

**Shawn: **(to Bret) The question is do you know what you're doing?

_Shawn and I took the elevator up to the third floor...and there I saw what I was hoping to see..._

**Shawn: **A shiny red sports car. (Bret looks at him) Never mind. You're too old for a mid-life crisis. (Bret narrows his eyes at Shawn)

_Just a handful of cars and no people. I didn't know where the owners were, and I didn't care. _

_"Over there," I said to Shawn, pointing, and I walked hurredly to where I pointed. _

_Shawn picked up his pace too and followed. We were finally breaking character. _

**Shawn: **We couldn't have waited til we were in a car?

_I walked right to the driver's side of a slightly dingy looking, what used to be white - now grayish - Chevy Malibu. _

**Shawn: **(to Bret) And you didn't even pick a nice one.

**Bret: **I'm sure I have a good reason.

_I was betting that a car like that wouldn't have any alarms...because who would want to steal it..._

_Besides me?_

**Hunter: **Bret's got a point there, Shawn.

**Bret: **(to Shawn) See?

**Shawn: **(sulks, he would have preferred the shiny red sports car)

_My first impulse was to smash the driver's side glass...but that might bring too much attention to ourselves. So, I took the time to pick the car lock with my wife's - ex wife's - hairpin, which I had remembered to bring with me._

**Sean: **(to Bret) I hope your luck holds out.

**Hunter: **I hope your hairpin holds out!

_The car door opened. I sat down in the driver's seat, leaned over to the passenger's side and unlocked the door for Shawn. Shawn got in and I got busy..._

**Shawn: **(apalled) Not the time or the place, Bret!

_Hotwiring the car..._

**Sean: **You are quite the felon, Bret.

_"Where'd you learn to do that?" Shawn asked, putting on his seatbelt._

_I was still working with the wires, "One of the few things my oldest brother Smith taught me."_

**Bret: **(as the others look to him) He did not!

_Smith had been a bit of a delinquent. _

**Bret: **Well...that part's true.

_"Never thought I'd actually have to do it."_

_There was a spark!_

_And the engine started! It worked! I think that Smith would be pretty proud of me._

**Bret: **Like I've ever really cared about what Smith thinks of me.

_Shawn was elated, "All right!"_

_I sat back upright in my seat and closed my door...I adjusted the mirror, "Let's get the hell out of Pittsburgh."_

_I burned rubber til I came to the first floor of the parking garage. _

**Sean: **I don't remember it saying that you put on your seatbelt, Bret.

**Shawn: **(to Bret, bitchy) If we get pulled over because you're not wearing your seatbelt...

**Bret: **(waves Shawn off) Yeah, yeah.

_Then, I drove normally. Again, I didn't need to draw attention to us._

_Surprisingly, we were not bothered the whole time we drove through Pittsburgh...not even when we drove down Main Street._

_Shawn thought I was crazy driving there. Why would I put us in the lion's den, so to speak?_

**Shawn: **Because he's trying to give me a heart attack, apparently.

_But I wanted to know what was going on._

_And after looking at Main Street, I did..._

_There were several trucks on Main Street...produce trucks...and they had signs on them. _

**Hunter: **(with his hand up in front of him - he moves it across as he talks in a God-like voice) 'Promising You A Better World For Tomorrow'

_The signs all said different things, but each sign was the name of a town near Pittsburgh. I saw trucks for Swissvale, _

**Sean: **The home of cheese and chocolates. (pause) I'm getting hungry again.

_Economy, _

**Hunter: **Promising it stability when there currently is none.

_and New Kensington. _

**Hunter & Sean: **(to the tune of "Mrs. Robinson) And here's to you, New-hoo Kensington, Pittsburgh has it's eyes on you, you know. Wo, wo, wo.

**Bret & Shawn: **(are under the impression that Hunter and Sean have lost their minds)

_And there were more than three trucks._

**Shawn: **There were enough for all of Pennsylvania.

_"My God!" I exclaimed, driving by the trucks as unsuspiciously as possible. There were only a few people around the trucks and they didn't pay us any attention._

_"We have to do something," Shawn said._

_"We have to get ourselves to safety first," I stated._

_And we did._

_End of Chapter 11 of the post_

**Shawn: **That's three chapters, right?

**Bret: **(agreeing) Right.

**Shawn: **Then the fic's over.

**Bret: **It doesn't feel over.

_Marie: And it's not._

**Sean: **But you said there were only three more chapters.

_Marie: There's an Epilogue._

**Shawn: **(outraged) You lied to us!

_Marie: No I didn't. I don't consider the Epilogue to be a chapter._

**Hunter: **What do you consider it?

_Marie: (thinking) An Epilogue...it will bring you closure. Just read it._

_Invasion Of The WWE - The Epilogue_

**Bret: **I guess if we've made it this far, we can get through what's next.

_Shawn and I did make it to Canada..._

**Shawn: **(dumbfounded) We drove over 200 miles together?

**Hunter: **Without killing each other?

**Bret: **That's the most impossible thing in this whole story.

_and it was as untouched by the pod invasion as I'd hoped._

_The first thing we did after crossing Canada's border was go to the nearest police station, _

**Sean: **If the invasion has just started, which I think it has, then some of the more northern states should have been still unaffected.

**Shawn: **I wanted to stop somewhere in New York State, (gestures to Bret) but he wouldn't.

**Hunter: **(to Bret) Overly cautious, aren't you?

_where we reported all of the events that I have just finished writing about._

_At first, naturally, they didn't believe us. _

**Shawn: **(over dramatic) Nooooo...you're kidding!

_I can't tell you how good it felt to be laughed at by them._

**Hunter: **I don't think public embarrassment is ever a good thing.

_It felt good just to hear laughter again._

_And then, when the police looked into our eyes and saw that our faces were scared and pale at just talking about what happened...they started to act._

_The police set about investigating our claims...they contacted police in the states...those police, thankfully unchanged, investigated..._

**Sean: **I didn't think police stations from different cities, let alone different states and countries, usually work together very well.

_and they found the produce trucks...they found the seed pods._

**Bret: **(to Shawn) Looks like our luck is going to hold out.

_Most of the seed pods were burned. Some were scientifically studied...used on mice and other animals._

**Shawn: **That's animal cruelty.

**Hunter: **Where's the ASPCA when you need them?

_It appears the seed pods can copy almost any lifeform...as long as that lifeform sleeps. _

**Sean: **So, sharks would be safe (Bret looks at him) Sharks don't sleep.

**Bret: **And what would seed pods be doing in the ocean?

**Sean: **Everything else gets dumped in the ocean; why not the pods?

_Sleep is the only time the change can occur because that's when the mind has the most freedom to roam...to be taken over._

_Scientists found that the experimental anti-dream drug, hypnocil, kept the pod from taking over it's host. _

**Sean: **Hypnosil? That's the same stuff used to keep Freddy Krueger away.

**Hunter: **It's a dual-purpose drug.

_Consequently, hypnocil has finally been approved by the FDA._

_As for the people that were already pods...death was considered for them. _

**Shawn: **(looking to his best friend) Bye, Hunter.

_But, that would have meant killing almost 10,000 people, _

**Sean: **And how would you know for sure that you got them all? The fic hasn't mentioned that there's any way to accurately test to see if someone's a pod.

_including several famous people...like the wrestlers that were taken over. By the way, the interest in wrestling is at an all time low._

**Hunter: **I would say so. The whole McMahon family, including myself, is gone.

_Instead of killing the pods, the U.S. government quarrantined every pod person they could find...and, since Pittsburgh was found to contain the largest amount of aliens..._

**Hunter: **I thought the largest population of aliens was in Miami, Florida?

**Shawn: **That's illegal immigrants, Hunter.

**Hunter: **Well, the pods aren't exactly U.S. citizens, Shawn.

_relocated them there. _

**Sean: **First, George A. Romero zombies, then pod people? Poor Pittsburgh.

_Pittsburgh is now the city of the pods. All roads going into it and coming out of it are closed off. Armed guards are posted at roadblocks to make sure no one goes in or out._

_Some escape attempts by the pods have been tried. One tried to run the roadblock in his car...he was blown up._

**All: **Yeah!

_And now, five years have passed since the pods first started to take people over._

_And the death rate has risen in Pittsburgh...of course, the birth rate has been zero since the city was given to the pods._

**Bret: **And boy, have they made a mess of it!

_I know why the death rate has increased...the pod people have lived for five years and are starting to die..._

**Sean: **So the government did the right thing in not killing the pods. (the others look at him) 10,000 executions would have been costly.

**Hunter: **Please, the government would have probably just taken them to a remote area and dropped a bomb or something.

_And now...this article in the paper about huge seed pods in the bed of a vegetable truck...and the take over of the driver...who must have fallen asleep at the wheel..._

**Bret: **And we've come full circle.

**Shawn: **We'd better not go around it again.

_How did the seed pods get into his truck bed? Who put them there? Did any of the original pod people escape from Pittsburgh...or did the government miss some?_

**Hunter: **You know, one of the guards probably fell asleep on the job and got taken over. Then, he let others out of Pittsburgh.

_I'll never know the answer to any of these questions. I suppose the answers aren't that important._

_What I do next is._

_I put my pen down and put my head in my hands. _

_Even though I didn't see him,_

**Shawn: **(to Bret) If you did put your pen down, why are we still reading?

_I knew that Shawn had come over to me and started to read the conclusion to what I'd been writing._

_"It's all here," Shawn said when he finished reading. _

**Hunter: **When did you become a speed reader, Shawn?

**Shawn: **(shrugs) Beats me.

_"It's good."_

_"Thanks," I said, moving my hands from my face to look at Shawn._

_"Except for the last line," Shawn stated. _

_I looked at him questioningly, "What's wrong with it?"_

**Shawn: **It wasn't the last line!

_"You forget," Shawn said, "that it's not about what __**you**__ do next. It's what __**we **__do next."_

**Shawn: **We had better do nothing next.

_"I was hoping not to involve you," I said. "I want you safe." I would never be able to deal if anything happened to Shawn._

**Sean: **(to Shawn) If there's a sequel, you'll probably become a pod.

_Shawn, my husband of approximately five years..._

**Shawn: **Five years? (to Bret) So we got married like right when we made it to Canada?

**Bret: **What did you want? A long egagement period?

**Hunter: **Technically, you were still married to Cinzia when you left Pittsburgh.

**Sean: **That was a speedy divorce. And on what grounds? Emotional detachment?

**Bret: **Either that, or I'm a bigamist in the eyes of the law.

**Shawn: **(shaking his head) I think we've finally been in this theater too long.

_whom I still deeply loved...came to me and sat in my lap, "We're in this together. Despite what you say, you know that." He put his arms around my neck and I put my hands on his hips. _

**Sean: **(can't help himself as he looks at Bret and Shawn) Would you like to be alone?

**Bret & Shawn: **(glare at Sean, but decide that it's just not worth it)

_He looked into my eyes, "You also know that I'm safest with you."_

_And he was._

**Shawn: **(hoping) The End.

_I kissed Shawn. _

**Bret & Shawn: **Damn!

_His mouth was as warm and human as my own._

_As I kissed my husband, I reflected that - _

**Bret: **My standards have really fallen. (Shawn narrows his eyes at him)

_The way to defeat the pods is to give into what you feel..._

**Shawn: **(warning Bret) You'd better not.

_Feel love for all human life..._

**Hunter: **Even blood-sucking lawyers?

_Feel desire to preserve it..._

**Hunter: **Once again...

**Shawn: **(so badly wanting to be done) I know, you hate lawyers.

_And feel hate for the aliens that would destroy it -_

**Hunter: **(relating back to his illegal immigrant comment) Most people do.

_Only in this way, will humanity survive._

**Sean: **And, of course, remember your hypnosil.

_End of Epilogue (and of the post)_

**Shawn: **(relieved beyond belief) Oh, thank God!

**Bret: **Finally.

**Shawn: **(to Bret) Can we leave now? I have to use the bathroom.

**Bret: **Yes. (he and Shawn get up)

**Sean: **(being stared at by Bret and Shawn who want him to move, but he keeps looking at the screen) Guys...(gestures to the screen)

_Marie: A word from your editor_

**Bret & Shawn: **Damn! (sit back down)

**Shawn: **If I pee my pants, I am going to be so mad.

**Hunter: **You'll be pissed in more ways than one. (earns a glare from Shawn)

_Marie: I see you've survived another fan fic._

**All: **Yes...

_Marie: Perhaps, I should have forced Laura to go with my ending._

**Hunter: **What do you mean?

_Marie: I wanted the story to end unhappily._

**Shawn: **It did. (gestures to Bret) I'm on his lap and we're making out.

_Marie: I wanted there to be a final twist in which Shawn was shown to be a pod and the reader doesn't know what Bret's ultimate fate is. It would have left more room for a sequel._

**Bret: **(shudders at the thought of a sequel) I think I'm actually glad you went with Laura's ending. (looks to Shawn for agreement)

**Shawn: **(grudgingly) Yeah, me too.

_Marie: (sighs) All right, you're free to go._

**Shawn: **(starts to get up again)

**Bret: **Wait...

**Shawn: **(sits down again, lets out a frustrated breath of air)

**Bret: **Is Vince going to bother us when we leave the theater?

_Marie: No, he left it up to me to check on you. And I must say, it's been a pleasure torturing you again._

**Hunter: **And it's been our displeasure again.

_Marie: (laughs) You're just saying that. Til next time guys._

**Shawn: **(jusmps to his feet, to Bret and Sean) Excuse me!

**Bret & Sean: **(move their legs so Shawn can get by)

**Shawn: **(runs up the aisle, so badly needing to pee)

**Bret: **(to you - the audience) As Marie said, til next time...this is me, Bret Hart, (points to Sean who waves goodbye) Sean, (points to Hunter who also waves) Hunter, and Shawn - who's occupied at the moment - signing off.

Our remaining heroes pick up their trash and exit the theater.

End of this fic

* * *

**Author's note: This fic is finally done. Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are welcome and I hope to write more soon. Bye!**


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